Olfar's Droppings

Olfar's Droppings: Part 1

2011-08-08T13:53:00.016-05:00

2 SIDES AND YET ONLY ONE

There’s a story about a wise Indian Chief. His tribe loved and worshipped him. When he had a son, the tribe all came and said (in Indian) “Chief it’s wonderful that you have a son to pass on your leadership to.” His reply was, “Maybe.” Year’s later, the chief’s son became the best pony boy in the village and the people rejoiced and once again told the Chief how fortunate he was, what a good model for the other boys. The Chief would only reply with one word, “maybe.” The son became the lead warrior and again told the Chief how proud he must be and the response was, “maybe.” Then came trouble with a neighboring tribe and the brave, brave took the lead in the battle. Now the tribe’s people asked the chief, “Chief, will your son come back?” , ”Maybe.” The son did not return.

When I was in grammar school, we gambled with pennies. One took heads, the other tails. Then we’d flip with coins landing on the ground. If you were the tail and both pennies landed tails, you won. In high school, nickels were used. At home we were taught not to play cards, a form of gambling but my parents never said we couldn’t flip coins. They didn’t do that in their childhood in Sweden so how were they supposed to teach us that law.

Winning the coin toss of heads I win and tails you lose, like the right to choose kick off or receive, doesn’t guarantee winning. It takes time in the game to determine the out come. Life is like the tossing or flipping the coin in the journey up the mountains or through the valleys.

Let’s return to the coin. Two sides, heads and the tail side and yet the value of the coin is the same whether heads up or tail up. That’s the same from the penny as the $20 gold coin.

Life is like a coin with the bright (positive) side and the dark (negative) side with changes from day to day. Some day’s are winners, others losers. It would be delightful if the days were equal, maybe. The point is, how would you know the “uppers” if you didn’t have the “downers.”

The difference between life and coins is that all life has the highest value. There are no pennies. Life is precious, life is holy, life comes from God, for God. The neat thing about God is that He gives us “free will.” We have the right to flip the coin of living, one day at a time. Yes, there are bright “good days doing good things.” Yes, there are days when we walk in the shadows of wanting. We live in the wanting world and there is the “beat of wants.” This is the focus of humanity in general. In God’s heart there is no difference in the value of His creations. But God’s heart longs for us to have the “bright life,’ living outside the shadows of wanting this, and that, more, bigger, better, lovely, relaxed cruising along life’s highway. This way can be tiring to ones soul.

At age 84, I’m learning to adjust from wanting to serving, to giving, to loving trashing the trash, traveling lighter collecting friends that see the value of less wanting. The brightness is beautiful even though there’s the continual pressure of the “beat of wants.” Try it, you’ll like it. There’s an old hymn, “Feed me till I want no more.” God does the feeding and the head, heart and hands get a freshness of living and loving lavishly.

11/12--- FOUR HOUR KID’S KING

A principal of a grade school asked me if she furnished a Santa Suit, if I would play the role of Santa on December 11, from 8 AM-12 PM. “ Sure, I’ll enjoy the opportunity to be a super nice person for 4 hours” I responded. I have CHF that gives me crazy sleep. I will average 5-6 hours of sleep between 10 PM and 10 AM. Frustrating, but it gives me 4-6 hours to listen, think, ask mental questions, plan and collect fresh ideas. The night before Santa’s time, I finally fell asleep at 4 AM, resulting in 3 hours of sleep. Weary, worried about the ability to do something good, my mind hollered “don’t do it.” Thoughts of getting a substitute an hour before the deadline was short lived. I had to go, needed to go, was expected to go, wanted to go, then dressed to go. Time to go, all dressed in a fine Santa suit I shuffled off to the throne. The early birds were happy to see a good Santa and my spirit started to soar inside a shot, 76- year old bundle of bones. I was escorted to the well decorated throne, and started to watch the action that began with a pancake breakfast. The “talk to Santa” line started to form. Photographer was ready for action.

At 8 AM, I was ready with the question, “What do you want Santa to bring to you on Christmas?” A long line had formed, children, parents, grandmas, friends ready, for Santa. First customer was a girl about 6. She was excited. Warm. Ready. “Good morning, beautiful.” “Good morning Santa” with energy. I said “Speak loudly, speak clearly in this ear.” pointing to my right ear. So the list of gifts was recited. Since there is a huge generation gap about the knowledge of great toys of desire, all I could be was positive in my response even though I didn’t really know what she (and all the rest) asked for. I gave a candy cane and she bounced away. Next one was a repeat. Most were happy, lively, and hopeful. Same chatter.

The line was getting longer. They were anxious. I felt guilty going to the bathroom. By 10 AM, a thousand pancake breakfasts were served. WOW! Get back on the throne and move them through faster. I didn’t want to do that because each child was so lovely and lovable, they wanted time with Santa, their lists were long, parents wanted to take their own pictures from all different angles, etc. I wanted to know their names and treat them as unique creations, so full of life and talents to develop. I had to move quickly yet creatively. The line was growing and time was marching on. Then came the change of procedure. Limit the questions. Shorten their want list. OK. The ages ranged from 1-11 years of age. There were singles, doubles, twins, groups, family members, grandmas, etc. Some little ones were “blasters, screamers.”

There’s something within the parent’s that causes them to force the child to perform for the camera. The pictures probably are sent to grandmas. We have some of those in our collection. We show them to our grandchildren. I call it DNA inspection. I began to realize after about 100 children that their requests were quite narrow, just toys. Occasionally a big gift, like a personal TV or Harry Potter video, or computer would surface. There were mostly long lists, some written, (one with over10 selections).

Reduce the time!!! Give them only their 2 top toys that Santa could deliver. “Santa now knows what you want, but do you know what Santa wants for Christmas?” Almost every child had a startled look in response as they said no. I said that this Santa wanted snow for Christmas. I would hold my hand about 30” off the floor. Every child smiled. “I’ll get your presents, you help me get my snow.” Everyone wants a white Christmas, especially children and Santa’s. As they romped away, I would say “Merry Christmas, and tell your parents to help get snow for Santa!” Everyone was happy. The line moved faster and the last child came to me a few minutes past the deadline of 12 noon. Later I was asked if I enjoyed the experience, if I would do it again? I responded with a lively “Yes!”

What did I learn? I learned that all children are lovable, unique, adaptable and blessed with freshness for living energetically. Also as humans, they want to get, get, get. For me it was a giving experience where I received more than I gave, by far. It was un---forget able experience that surprised and energized these old bones for this Christmas season.

On reflection, being a man of faith who has much time in the night, I wondered how many of the families knew in their heads and heart’s the real message of Christmas. For me it was the time for me to change more from asking to get, to more giving. The big question developed, “Do I really know what God wants from me as a gift this season and all seasons?” These days, everything is fragile. Our world, country, families, jobs, finances health, churches, and relationships are fragile. Our Creator is the hope for a solid life of living well in weakness and fragility.

A SPECIAL LETTER FOR THOUGHTS
Every so often I receive a card, note, email, letter, etc. with words that impact my soul. Some are worth passing on. I don’t really know whether it’s legal to pass on another’s words and at my age, I’m not going to find the answer and if you know, please don’t tell me.

These words are special, especially for us older folk.

“I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time at work. When ever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I’m trying to recognize these moments and cherish them.

I’m not saving anything, we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I’m not saving my perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank. “Someday” and “one of these days” are losing their grip on my vocabulary.

If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to do it now. I’m not sure what my cousins would’ve done had they known that they wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or to whatever their favorite restaurant was. I’m guessing; I’ll never know.

It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write. Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my spouse and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I’m trying hard not to put it off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath is a gift from God.”

Author unknown

If you’re too busy to take a few minutes that it takes right now to ponder this, would it be the first time you didn’t do the little thing that would make a difference in your relationships? Take a few minutes to share this with a few people you care about, just to let them know that you are thinking of them. People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don’t need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.

A TIME TO THINK SERIOUS THOUGHTS

A month after turning 80, I had a thinking seriously experience, a time of frustrating the Angel of Death. Here’s my story.

October, 2005 was the 1st Caring Action Adventure to Monterrey, Mexico when 17 people explored opportunities of ways to help Mother Superior Martha of Casa Hogar Shelter. Her dream of finishing a place that cares and loves 50 abandoned children started with one baby after she had retired. That was 10 years ago and without receiving any pay she’s almost completed her dreams. The last dream is an auditorium for educational activities, including the arts (music, drama, singing, etc.). It would be used for recreation, fiestas and spiritual development. Connected to the auditorium, a library and a kitchen that is needed. End of Martha’s dream.

After visiting 4 different places caring for a total of 300+ children in different ways, and the last night of the adventure, it was time for shopping, touring the city of Monterrey and a farewell party.

Monterrey, like most old cities, has a cathedral in the center adjacent to a park.. Michael and Meghen wanted to go to mass and I thought that it was a good idea. Walking across the park in a light rainy evening with a friend, two sons and two grandsons was a special treat for this old man. About 100 yards from the cathedral, I started to run out of gas. Lagging behind, the desire to lie down on a bench, even a wet bench took over. My sons recognized that there was a problem and said, “Dad, your color’s bad.”

We are now on the cathedral property so cautiously we walked to the entrance and entered. I was parked in the last row for a much needed rest and filling of my tank. It was an adventure you couldn’t buy. There was a wedding scene that was beautiful. Even though we couldn’t understand Spanish, we could feel and see the spirit. My tank started to get filled. Then the wedding ended, now time to shop. I’m beyond shopping so my sons, grandsons and friend Sam escorted me to the Americana Fiesta hotel lobby where I could wait and rest.

That was time for serious thinking. There were no thoughts of dying in Monterrey (even though possible), but thoughts of gratefulness for my family and friends. It was a wonderful time in a beautiful place. Then thinking about Martha and her life of giving to so many children caused me to think, “What can I do?” I can do what I can do, so that’s what I’ll do.

Later I learned that a funeral was taking place in another part of the Cathedral at the same time. Also that it was built in the late 1600’s. It has stood the test of time.

Upon reflection after the adventure, my thoughts have turned to the realities of life. There are only two, love and death. That evening there were the two realities. The wedding dignifies love and a funeral dignifying death. The interesting fact is that love and death cannot be explained. I feel that the love of life needs to be lived out in a way that results in no fear of death.

AFLUENZA

21st century virus

SYMPTOMS
• Constant desire to shop, go “malling”, boutique shopping, garage sales, rummage sales, special sales, antique sales, car sales, home sales, 3 hour sales, 1 day sales, year end sales, etc.
• Lots of debt, credit card, purchases on time, auto and home loans, equity loans, store debts, family debts, payment delays, doctor and dentist bills, income taxes, all taxes, etc.
• Stuff overload, collection storage problems, bigger homes, larger garages, lockers, etc.
• Overextended in interests and involvement, sports, entertainment, restaurant living, TV, travelling, hobbies, education, church, volunteering, partying, etc.
• Work, work, work and working.
• Low energy, caused by the above.
• Sleeping more and laughing less.
• No time or interest in fresh ideas.
• A tired soul.

RESTORATION
There have been thousands of books published, classes, conferences and seminars that give formula that haven’t worked for most people. The flesh is weak and the soul is hardening.

Now try this. Bottom’s Upward Mobility Concept. (BUM-HUM)
1. The soul should be the gyroscope and compass of living. Start with listening to your soul. Mother Teresa started there in total quietness and that’s as tough as it gets. Trying to achieve total deadness to all outside distractions to the brain is so essential for the soul to receive from His Spirit the thoughts of desires, direction and decisions that causes the soul to turn from stone like qualities to the warm soul. The mind is usually in the driver’s seat of all activities. With a warm soul (like a great engine) it works best (drives) when it responds to the soul than react to the desires of the flesh. Like the windshield should be clear, we should have a clear view of where and how the soul should go.
2. The heart needs to be in sync with the soul, warm in relations, serving everywhere, loving the neighbors and in every way caring above all for widows and orphans by giving lavishly, love from the soul.
3. The hands should connect as tight as possible to the soul, head and heart by achieving a rhythm of joy and laughter. Giving instead of getting is the result.
4. St. Ignatius of Loyola built a warm soul with the steps of confession, meditation, contemplation, prayer and then receiving the desires, direction and decisions of the soul. St. Ignatius was a wise and great person and a giver to all mankind, including 17 universities in Europe in his last 15 years.

God uniquely crafted every individual person with a soul, heart, head and hands to enjoy life and living to the fullest. Each person in their unique and individual way can achieve a life of purpose that’s a pleasure for others to see and be with if the soul, in total quietness, connects with our maker with obedience and the guidance of His word.

May afluenza lose the effect on humanity as we move through the 21st century. We need giving power over getting, then listening, learning, laughing, loving and living from a soul directed life.

APRIL SURGURY LETTER

In my 3rd quarter of life, my body, soul and spirit went through an interesting period.

• April 13, 2000, stomach surgery, 13 inch slice through fighting fat, 36 staples and trouble on the table when my pulse dropped to 30. Obviously I didn’t know.
• April 17, a blood clot moves from my right leg to my right lung. Now it’s full time in bed with blood thinners trying to get blood thin enough so as to avoid more clotting. This is serious reflection time because of the many possibilities (stroke, heart attack, lungs collapsing, death, etc.). I thought about family, friends, all the “trash trails” that I needed to clean up, all the things I wanted to do, pictures to paint, stories to write, places to go, etc. When one gets old, one thinks about God, heaven, Jesus, the process and all the forgiveness I needed. It was Easter time so the Easter scene was visited.
• 7 doctors and about 14 nurses gave me more TCL than I deserved.
• 6 different roommates. 2 are probably dead by now. One a 300 pound, a TV Easter. Then Don, an 89 year old, hard of hearing person who needed a pace maker. (Roger has had one for many years) Don was a sharp man, living alone and enjoying life. We’ve become friends and we’ll spend some time together in lively conversations about life. Tom was in for heart problems and was sent to another hospital for surgery. The last was Richard, an optic physician who had a heart attack and was going thru testing. We found that we were “I mile neighbors” and had a lot in common. Richard was 77 years young and was excited about living. I asked why? Why do you ask, he responded, I want to go back to a little village in Peru with our Parish Medical Team. (He went in 1999 for 10 days) Once again I asked why? He said because of the grateful look in the eyes of the poor, especially the little children. Being in the hospital was nonsense to him, had work to do so as to be ready to go in the fall and give love to the hurting. This is another friend to visit in days ahead as I continue my quest to “age well.”
1 After 15 days in the hospital bed, my blood was in the “therapeutic range” which meant I could go home to New Aland and family.
2 A day later, I did my dumbest thing of the year, I forgot to take my blood thinner pill and the blood started to thicken. After confessing to my doctor, I was given higher dosages and then given shots in the stomach. The shots cost $150. a day with no coverage for medicine. I got to thinking in the middle of the night that the cost would come to $60,000. per year. I told God that I was soon going to turn the spigot off.

In the summer, Joan and I (with the Newton family) journeyed to my fatherland, Aland, and celebrated midsummer with the Aland clan. What a marvelous experience. Tomatoes are not what they used to be (235 plants) but oil painting is delightful.

Today, 126 days after surgery, I’m fine, ready to enter my final quarter.

During my hospital experience, grandson Andrew went to Hollywood for a couple of days.. He brought back a toy that he brought to the hospital that could create marvelous fart sounds. Did I have fun with the nurses, friends and family and now all the grandchildren enjoy. That’s low class. Joan has been a kind trooper during this time, carrying an extra load including many trips to the hospital, answering many questions, extra chores including carrying out the trash. Her strength in our family continues to come through and I love her as never before.

ARE YOU ASKING?

You probably are asking, “Who is OLFAR, what is Dave really trying to pull off, and what does he want me to do?” I understand. I know (or I think I do) how busy you are with involvement’s that are time consuming added to the work of living and the incredible amount of mail, email, letters, and catalogues that fill your eyeballs. Besides, “Life is so daily.” Here’s my picture.

When people who receive Olfar’s stuff make complimentary comments, I respond with, “I don’t do it for you, I do it for me.” Here are my reasons for telling friends why I enjoy this “doing.”

1. Where you have little time, I have much time and the “stuff giving” gives me a reason to live.
2. I’ve learned to enjoy life by painting memories, writing stories and creating MOILS.
3. The people I’ve met, the places visited and the experiences collected make up my fabric.
4. Beginning the last quarter, life is more precious and learning how to age well is my quest.
5. It’s my friends who are the teachers that have given me learning opportunities resulting in focusing on helping the plight of our neighbor’s children. To me, this is worthy.

My friend and teacher Tor, the leader/server for Caring Action for Children in Mexico, wrote in response to the last thick letter piece, “In my line of writing service, I have to do like the maple syrup makers: Boil down the sap 40 times to make one gallon of syrup. Sometimes that is my greatest frustration in obtaining funds to keep our mission going.” Tor’s example of his writing is the story about the abandoned children. This is a man with his head, heart and hands wired together in his last quarter still learning how to age well. I’m wordy by nature, so I need to boil.

The story, Nice Return, is another reason for sending you stories. I call them “brain drippings.”
I need ideas, expressions of life that become seed thoughts for learning how to age well. I get drippings from books, such as Aging Well. This book is a 50 year Harvard study of adult development looking at life choices, health and happiness on 100’s of individuals by the director of the study, George E. Vaillant. Other books are, Seeds of Hope, a Henri Nouwen reader, My Grand Fathers Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remon, M.D., John Peterson’s The Message and the Bible. For me these are priceless books to keep reading over and over, “Brain Drippings.”

Boiling this down, I love my family, friends, having fun, focusing on caring and my Faith that gives me Hope and desire to Love in my way in all directions.

Para la vida.

LISTENING WITH YOUR EYES

Barney, has interesting eyes that has seen Las Ramblas, Barcelona at it’s best and worst. Barney allowed me to take his picture on a morning in March of 1999 and I’m grateful for his act of kindness. He is interesting to listen to, no words, just his eyes reading me and with my eyes reading him.

His eyes, layers of clothing (on a 75 degree sun shine day), the pipe that had wonderful smelling stuff, the hat, his facial demeanor that led me back to his eyes.

Every time I look at the picture, I smile. I think that he was musing that I was goofy for wanting a photo, or why didn’t I speak Spanish, or what do you really want, or he thought I was stupid. I can only guess. I wish I could have understood his language and glasses filled with Spanish wine learned more about Barcelona and the desires of his heart. It would have enhanced the Barcelona experience.

Recently, I learned a good description of a friend. “A friend is one who listens with 2 ears, looks intently with clear eyes and keeps the mouth shut.” The 2 ears, 2 ears, 1 mouth was designed so we could learn better.

Talking less can help us not only to hear more but also to be heard more. Often our silence is more eloquent and noteworthy than any words we could say.

Solomon emphasized this truth in Proverbs. “The wise person hears and is heard because he knows both when to talk and when not to. And he has a way of speaking even when he is silent.” There is wisdom in talking less in order to say more.

Barney spoke volumes with his eyes, thank you Barney.

I hope to learn how to shut the mouth, but ask more questions and find the goal of the soul of the people that I connect with.

BARNS BURIED

Buildings that were built to store man’s stuff or shelter the animals have a heritage that’s changing drastically. But isn’t everything changing drastically?
My earliest recollection of barns was 70 years ago in California, the place of my birth and strivings for stuff. California has sheds for storing implements of toil and barns for cattle. The vegetables and fruit went from field to processing called packing plants. The barns were similar in design and material. The difference was the size.

Moving to the mid-west and the farm belt, we became “taken” by the uniqueness of the barns. They seemed to express the desires and personalities of the first owner. The designs seemed to have personalities that were larger than their home. Every farm home was usually different in size and design, but the barns took center stage. We had our “BARN” tours in the beauty of Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana Michigan, Nebraska, Pennsylvania, etc. Places such as Harvard, IL, New Glarius, WI, Brown County, IN, Holland, MI, Stromsberg, NB, Philadelphia, PA, including Shertz, TX. Only people who live in Shertz can find it.

We have never gone to an authentic Barn Dance. They are a social gatherings (usually with friends) often held in barns, with music and dancing. This is a time of thankfulness in the fall season for the full barns as a result of toil and talent. When the barns are gone, the authentic barn dances will have ceased.
In the 19th century, 95% of the people in the US were in agriculture, usually connecting with barns. In the 21st century there is about 5% on the farm with a barn. As farms merge, the barns are dying. Some are cremated by local volunteer fire departments, some fall for lack of care others are pushed over and buried some way.

The new design is the lack luster steel buildings. I’m sure that they are cost effective but they lack luster or “Barn personality.” The designs are boring, the colors colorless but the size tells everyone the success story of the land owner, and that’s OK. The sadness of much of the agricultural landscape is unused, crumbling barns. By the end of the 21st century, the farmlands may have only mega steel buildings.
We still are planning “Barn Tours” so we can muse in memories of our life, how life is changing. The major change is the accumulation factor. Now there are bigger barns (steel), larger homes, 3-4 car garages and storage buildings holding excess stuff. We strive for stuff. It’s the American dreams come true. Now most of the world is striving for stuff.

Making stuff produces work. Selling stuff provides enjoyment. Storing stuff is painful with the maintenance, insurance, security and rental costs. We learn too late that stuff doesn’t add to our lives. It may even subtract from a joyful life. I’m not against stuff. My family has much stuff (more than we have). Some off my friends have such a collection of beautiful stuff that sometimes it makes me feel like a failure because of the difference in accumulation of stuff. Then I realize once again that it’s not stuff that I need. I need a stronger faith, the love of family and friends that encourages me every day to be grateful for blessings from God who owns all stuff.

God sent His Son in love to us over 2000 years ago to help us live a loving life.

Now it’s time to unpack stuff for the big trip. Then all my stuff can be buried.

BE ORGANIZED WITH OUT GETTING ORGANIZED

The three key words, BE, GETTING and ORGANIZED.. These are exceptional and interesting words to ponder, especially when the end is in sight.

There can come a time when meetings don’t cut it, the fog. It’s a time when to achieve single mindedness is impossible. Our different perspectives, desires and destinies cannot merge into total action. Many disagree. Isaiah in his first chapter (in the middle) explains to me my reason. In the Message it is written:

Say no to wrong.
Learn to do good.
Work for justice.
Help the down-and-out.
Stand up for the homeless.
Go to bat for the defenseless.

These are the words describing the best actions a person can do. It’s describes how to BE.

If the words are true, life should be about giving, not GETTING. This describes the spontaneous actions that I (we) can do. No time wasted, no overhead costs, no waiting to do what can be done. Also there’s no hoops to go through, no applause to get, no special honors, just the feeling that what has been done is right. Humanity would become more humane if the half who can help those in need would give. It’s not about money, it is actions of care. Mother Teresa said, “Not all of us can do big things, but everyone can do little things in love.” That’s the bottom line. It’s about love. Love with legs is giving, not getting.

What does this pile of words have to do with being ORGANIZED.

It’s been my experience that getting organized with others to do something, we have to learn to conform to the mission statement. Guidelines are established, rules are made, the leader selected and agendas established with goals set. It’s the picture of the Salvation Army Band parading where the organization is conforming in concert. The Salvation Army Band is a good thing. The Salvation Army does good things for the poor, the homeless in an organized way. The Salvation Army does well in facilitating the giving of other peoples giving’s. Other organizations like Catholic Charities, World Vision, Red Cross, Habitat for Humanity and thousand’s more are organized to help care for those who need a hand. But it’s not enough caring for every hurting person.

I need to have my head, heart and hands in concert (organized) so that caring becomes natural. The need to do little things in love can be fulfilling. Collective action is conforming actions and maybe conforming can only be downward and limiting. But caring can be individually creative. Time is so precious and sometimes the caring can be squelched in meetings that are designed to do good because organizations with their meetings take time, demand conformity and sometimes are not cost effective and even corrupt.

The caring heart uses the head and hands to do what it can do in making this world a better place to live. It’s not limited to giving to good organizations, but care grows by giving one day at a time as the heart becomes warm to needs. Henri Nouwen said, “Our greatest gift is caring.” Lord, help me care. That takes personal organizing of the heart, head and hands.

LIFE CAN BE BORING

Boredom is the disconnected life, filled with thousands of different words, ideas, thoughts and acts that are like so many pieces of garbage in stagnant waters. Life that’s a blur breeds discontent..

Boredom, which is so easily leads to depression, often can become a pervasive feeling, a creeping temptation, difficult to shake off or change.

“SO WHAT?” We will soon be dead, gone and forgotten in a couple of years, perhaps only remembered because of our oddities and idiosyncrasies. I’ve learned in my life that everyone is goofy. I’m goofy, you’re goofy, everyone’s goofy and we don’t always measure up to everyone’s expectation.

If YOU ARE BORED, call for your friend’s help line. If you don’t have a friend, tell it to Jesus. In fact, even if you have a friend, share your heart with Jesus, He cares for you, all the time. Jesus cancels boredom.

DEPRESSION IS DIFFERENT. My friends who are depressed need love and encouragement. Unconditional love and encouragement is the best medicine for healing and heads up living. When you’re living you give, to those who are goofy like you and me but also to that other goofy person who is different.

There are no formulas that cure every type of boredom or depression for people. When I read about God’s directions to man early on, the first duties was to propagate and sublimate the earth. Propagate means children. Let’s keep on enjoying the little people, learning to like all their goofiness. Love them deeply. Sublimate is to care for God’s creation where #1 is his love of people he created.

When down, look up to the heavens with a grateful heart because you’re breathing and on the right side of the grass where your family and friends can enjoy your love. Then smile and the whole world will smile.

When bored or depressed, call a true friend, who will love with love that’s unconditional.

BULL DROP

Saint Paul used the four- letter word dung in his time to describe his feelings. People in the street culture use many different four letter words. Many times it’s the base communication that is very understandable. We can’t escape the words of street culture. There are times when my nature would like to use “Street Culture” words to express my feelings, like “Bull Drop.”

Every once in a while I have a dream that’s extreme. One night it happened. It started with our son. At the age of six was a head taller than all the other boys his age. The thought was, “good, a basketball player.” At the age of twelve he was six feet tall and obviously a stand-out. At the age of sixteen, he was seven feet tall and was attracting universities and colleges from around the world including China. He was still growing. At age twenty-two, he was nine feet tall and still growing. Now I’m negotiating with all the pro teams and shoemakers because the whole world knows my son and about his size 30 shoes. This was one crazy and ridiculous experience.

What’s the point of this pile of words? Thoughts are the focus.

• Where do thoughts come from?
• Can we start the thought process?
• Can we stop the process?
• Do some people have more thoughts than others? Less?
• How do we control thoughts?

I’ve been thinking more about thinking now than ever before. Answers are not easy to come by. Sometimes the response is, “Why are you thinking about thinking?” My answer is, “I don’t know.” Maybe you have thought about this question(s) and have the answer(s). If you have answers or know who does, let me know.

The ultimate manual for guiding our lives is to find out what was in the mind of our Creator. The manual says, “Let the mind of Christ guide you.” What do you find in that mind? I’m finding tenderness and love, especially for our neighbor’s children. I’m learning that it’s hurting people that we should mix with. Medical facts are teaching the value of love and encouragement in the healing process of any person in pain.

The purpose of life is to love one another. To give love is our greatest gift only if we really care. Caring is the start of the journey of good thoughts. Sensitivity of all our senses, by giving the mind fresh caring thoughts is a way of living outside our self-centered box of accumulating stuff.

Caring and loving is the way of collecting friends. The trickling down of love by caring is contagious. No one is so poor that they can’t give TLC and no one is so wealthy that they can’t receive love and care.

So it’s about loving one another. This is the heart of the Friend’s Collection.

Collect friends. You’ll love it. That’s where life is lovely.

CARING COLT

My dear friend, Dan, recently sent a copy of one of his sermons that he delivered to a men’s group titled, Jesus Wants Your----. I was startled by the title, but since Dan writes good stuff, I began to read. It was about the story of Jesus entering Jerusalem and asked to get “that colt” to carry him into the city. Dan’s applications were outstanding and I knew that his audience was challenged to follow Christ’s leading.

I asked Dan if the titled was published in St. Michael’s newsletter. “No, I just thought that the title would get your attention.” Obviously it did. The stories of the last days of Jesus are probably told more than any other Bible stories. The essence of Dan’s message was that Jesus wanted me in service. I ponder the challenge and am learning daily the meaning of service.

I’m realizing that we are born in order to serve one of God’s purposes, and try to serve that purpose with our whole being without ever knowing the results. Since God created life, serving life (lives) is serving God. Usually for me, it is with others who are friends with a common cause that becomes a focus of service. Our lives revolve around the holy purpose much the same way that electrons revolve around the nucleus of an atom. Some friends orbit at a distance from a common purpose, others are very close to it, but all are held in relationship to it because it has magnetized their souls.

This describes the Friends Collection concept. People in any Friends Forum can differ widely in age, color, different languages, educated or uneducated, rich or poor, foolish or wise. Some may know each other and even work together, worship together, travel and vacation together. Their lives fit together perfectly in the service of the purpose.

Sometimes the purpose is visible. There is usually a type of Friends Collection behind movements like the abolition of slavery, humanitarian groups, ecological concerns, good education. Those purposes are known only to God and understandable only from God’s vast perspective. An example of saving a single life may become the great-grandmother of someone else who will cause a change for all humanity.

Despite differences, when a Friends Collection gathers, they feel kinship, even though it doesn’t make sense to everyone at the moment. It’s the sense and collective press towards the common purpose of serving that bonds friends.

It’s hard to be lonely with friends in a collection context. It’s caring and sharing.

Now the challenge is the concept of the Friends Collection, doing what comes naturally and comfortably caring and sharing with our neighbors poorest of the poor children within comfort zones and without time, wasting meetings. This is a worthy challenge.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT STUFF----LIFE!

“ THEREFORE CHOOSE LIFE, THAT YOU AND YOUR DESCENDANTS MAY LIVE, LOVING THE LORD YOUR GOD, OBEYING HIS VOICE, AND CLEAVING TO HIM; FOR THAT MEANS LIFE TO YOU AND LENGTH OF DAYS.” Deuteronomy 30:12, Living Bible

“Always remember that it is the Lord your God who gives you power to become rich, and He does it to fulfill his promise to your ancestors.” Deut 8:18

“I conclude that, first, there is nothing better for a man than to be happy and to enjoy himself as long as he can; and second, that he should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of his labors, for theses are gifts from God. And I know this, whatever God does is final---nothing can be added or taken from it. God’s purpose in this is that man should fear the all powerful God.” Eccles. 3:12-14

“To obtain these gifts, you need more than faith; you must also work hard to be good; and even that is not good enough. For then you must learn to know God better and discover what he wants you to do. Next, learn to put aside your own desires so that you will become patient and Godly, gladly letting God have his way with you. This will make possible the next step, which is for you to enjoy people, to like them, and finally you will grow to love them deeply. The more you go on this way, the more you will grow spiritually becoming fruitful and useful to our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 2: 5-8

Deuteronomy 8 Thoughts to ponder
• The exciting, abundant, joyous life that multiples is for those who obey the C’s.
• Don’t forget the humbling tumbles and “ blastings.” They turn one upwards.
• God helps us through the valleys. Each valley has a mountain on both sides.
• The good of life is found in the valleys and the hills. Getting the big picture.
• Gratefulness is the gasoline that keeps the spiritual motor going.
• Look not only through the windshield, but the sides and rear. Be careful.
• When you think you have it all (things/stuff), that’s the time to beware.
• That’s the time when one reduces the grateful factor, forgets that God’s the giver.
• Try remembering, God gives to the giver.
• Trust and obey, for there’s no other way.

No matter how much we have learned living life by trying this and that, been there done that, from pain to pleasantries, prestige and position, ups and downs, stuffed with stuff, there is times when we should ask “what’s the point of living without the TRUTH MAP. We need to daily think about God’s Map of truth and light for living.

Shall We Keep Dancing?

I’m thanking God that you asked me to dance, Even when you knew that I could not dance. Now, after all the years of on and off dancing, Our bones no longer dance, but our hearts keep prancing.
O how good it has been, dancing with you, Thru all our experiences God has given, Sunshine and storms, highs and lows, Your warm strength, has kept life aglow.
Our memories and dreams come and go, Our children are gifts that God gave in love. You gave your best and we let God do the rest, and now our concert as they live and do their best.
Now as life is slowly dimming, no energy for a dance, I want to tell you again and again and again, I’ll be loving you, always, always, always, With a love that’s true always, always, always.
Let’s keep our hearts open and warm, day’s are precious, Our God with are family and friends to love and enjoy, Give us the way to love as He loved us, come what may, There’s no other way to live the rest of our days.
Our love is an awesome love when we’re together, Our God is the wonder of it all, that He loves us, In our dancing and dreaming, failures and flaws, He is concerned, cares and loves and gives us a cause.

DAN’S PRAYERDear Friend,

Your friendship is special. My friend Dan is a Soul Brother who has been so good to me. He’s an Episcopalian with evangelical roots. From Trinity College Chaplain to Chuck Swindol’s associate then on to “Job” like pain. He loves written prayers because it takes effort and the prayers usually go through a cleansing process over a period of time. Dan sent his prayer to me and I want to share it with you.
With warm personal regards,
OLFAR

THE SAME PRAYER FOR EVERYBODY

Pain started me praying. My own pain. Real pain. It birthed real prayers. I used to pray out of guilt or just because I learned that praying is good form in the way I was raised. I prayed the kind of prayers that I had heard all my life. When in my early thirties I started having the first real problems of my life, my inescapable pain began talking to me and I had to start listening to my life. The deep parts of my inner life were speaking to me (they always had been, I just never listened), and I began to be deliberate about speaking to and hearing from the depth of myself.

My prayers became wails. The old worn, more copied prayers, didn’t work. Honesty was growing and, of course, it affected my prayers. I had lived enough and thought enough and was in enough pain to know a few things; that I didn’t have God in my back pocket and He wouldn’t do what ever I wanted if I just mentioned it; nor was it a matter of God suffering from a lack of information or motivation that if I just told God well then God would know and do something, and if I got a lot of people to pray then it would really move God. For one thing, the honest stuff my inner life was churning with was stuff I didn’t want hardly any one else to know. And my life experience made it clear that prayer was not magic that made the magician God work finger-snapping miracles just like that.

So I started with a simple wail: “Lord, have mercy on me.” The need to be honest and real was becoming a passion for me. I wrestled with what were the real requests and messages I wanted to express to God. I can’t quite remember now how it all evolved (I know a book by Bruce Larson suggested some of the words), but I finally settled on a short, virtually three word prayer. When I told my Dad some years ago about this prayer, to my surprise he liked it and even suggested a fourth word.

THE SAME PRAYER FOR EVERYBODY

This is the prayer I pray for everybody----for myself, for my family, for the people I work with, for friends,------for everybody I pray for. It starts with the SHEMA, the famous Old Testament prayer which is really an admonition. It’s personalized.

LISTEN DANIEL. THE LORD GOD IS ONE GOD. YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE HIM. AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, SOUL, MIND, STRENGTH.

Then comes what’s called the “Jesus prayer”:

LORD, HAVE MERCY ON ME! Then the four words LORD, GIVE TO ME HESED, SHALOM, ZOE, AND HESED is a big, extravagant word used often in the Old Testament. It means MERCY
and FORGIVNESS and GRACE and second and third chances without limit. It is the place for me to begin every time. I am sure I don’t want justice from God. I need mercy. HESED.

Then SHALOM. It is a Hebrew word again and it means more than PEACE. It means FULNESS. I have found in these huge words what I believe to be the desire of my heart and God’s heart for me. And these four words are deliberately open and huge and broad. They are massive and I trust God to answer and respond to my prayers to Him as He will. If God is anything by definition, God must know everything and know what is good. Prayer at it’s core is hoping in God, not telling Him what He doesn’t know or what to do. So in my short, but big and vague prayer, I am throwing my self on the grace and wisdom of God. LORD, GIVE ME FULLNESS IN MY LIFE.SHALOM. You choose what that means.

Thirdly I ask for ZOE. That is a Greek word that means LIVELY. The only reason for a life is to live it, and a truly lived life is a life as authentically alive as possible.(For me, that happens to be the authentic life of Christ). This is a request for VITAL, TEEMING, CONSCIOUS, SENSUAL, PULSATING ALIVENESS. It is precisely what the New Testament says Jesus showed up to give. I want it and need it.

And the last one, the one my father gave me to add, is SOPHIA. A Greek again and it means WISDOM. Specifically, it is the practical, down to earth wisdom of solving the daily nuts-and-bolts kind of problems and challenges. It is not about some esoteric knowledge. It is about reality and good sense and the courage to follow through. SOPHIA!

THE SAME PRAYER FOR EVERYONE

LISTEN, DANIEL. THE LORD YOUR GOD IS ONE GOD. YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, SOUL, MIND AND STRENGTH. LORD, HAVE MERCY ON ME. AND GIVE TO ME HESED, SHALOM, ZOE, AND SOPHIA. AMEN.

I say that it is the same prayer for everyone, because I don’t just pray it for myself. As a matter of fact, the chances are good that if you came to be reading this, it is a prayer that I frequently pray for you. I pray this prayer for my family and loved friends daily and over and over again, for clients, and anybody and everybody who comes to mind to pray for. I’ve prayed it steadily in the steam room of my health club and almost all the churches in Europe when I travel. Yes, it is repetitive and sparse even, but it never gets old and it never feels meaningless or hackneyed. It seems so big and so right that for a long time it feels like the best I can do. And as far as I know, it seems to be a prayer that sits well with God. Amen and Amen.

Daniel Amsler, October, 1993

DIRMAD AND WIRMAD

Dirmad and wirmad are words I would like to submit to Dr. Webster for his perspective.
Dirmad means, “Does it really make a difference?” Wirmad means, “Will it really make a difference?”

When one gets into the last quarter in life, it’s easy to take a pass on dirmad and wirmad. It could disrupt the comfortable rhythm created for living the good life. Harmonious pace and patterns becomes the box called retirement. It’s an easy path to trod.

The manual for the living on this earth doesn’t have the word or description for retirement. Scripture teaches that Adam and Eve were created for the purpose of multiplying and sublimating the earth, or said another way, raising a family and helping the quality of life to get better.

Being part of a family never ends. Families that are totally fractured, for what- ever reason, appear to have an ending but in reality they usually gather at family funerals. Families that value the fabric created by helping, loving and sharing top down and bottom up, from grandmother and father to great grand children and all in between (25 in our procreation tree) seem to have a quality of life that knits them together. These families usually have better funerals because of the love for one another.

Top down is the best place for the legacy of love to start. We learn to be self centered and selfish early in life and the work of reduction gets greater with the growth of a family. We learn early on the “get life” and that’s what we grow up in. But it is the “give life” that makes a difference if done right. One should not retire from this action. The best giving is very sensitive about the needs and attitude of the receiver. My tracks have been muddied by insensitivity to the real need and have catered many times to the desire factor.

Usually giving is an economic thing but I’ve learned (much too late) that gifts that come from the head, heart and hands can leave a legacy of memories that can be given to generations of a family fabric. Recently, I’ve started to question my use of time and energy. Since I would like the family “follower’s” to live a more fruitful life and increase the quality of the earth (and never quit), I’m asking of myself more and more the short term word, “dirmad” in the today doings and “wilmad” in the tomorrow(s) action. The ideal goal is that every action would make a difference to some one in some way that’s helpful.

Dr. Webster defines the word difference with five possibilities. I like #4, “discrimination in taste or choice.” The living Manual describes life as, “doing everything in decency and order.” Taking a leap of logic, we can make a difference by making right choices in giving to anyone if it’s going to make a positive difference in a living soul. So thinking in advance, “dirmad or wirmad” can give a pause that will enhance giving that can make a difference that extends for generations. It’s tilling the soil (giving) and seeds that yields a garden of joy, where living is a difference.

Who is Doug Frank?

Who is Doug Frank was a question asked by Ade after he read a few lines of Doug’s creative use of words about the future changes that are scary. Doug said, “ what does all that stuff do to our brain --- and heart.?”
Ade will be the 1st person to read my words of memories of who Doug Frank is --- to me.
1966 was a year of extreme changes. It started with a crazy move from Orange, California, a lovely community that was going to be our final home and resting place to Deerfield, Illinois, the home of junior executives living Chicago style. Why the move? Harry asked me to join him in building religious schools of higher education known then as Trinity College and Trinity Evangelical Divinity school. My job, public relations and head beggar known as directing the development office. The 1st winter---32 inches of snow that closed the town down. At the age of 40, moving 4 children and mate from sun to snow and real estate development to academia was an extreme adventure.
Doug Frank was walking in front of the mansion which housed the administrative offices. I took notice of this young man because he was wearing a blue jean shirt and Levi’s with an Indian head band on his head. Very conspicuous! Trinity was a very religious school and conservative. The constituents that I had to fleece were conservative. They would not be happy to know that Doug was a professor at the college..
That evening at the family dinner table, I asked, “Who is the professor that wears blue denim shirt and Levi’s and an Indian head band?” My wife and children were attending Trinity. In unison, they laughed because of the image of Doug, but they all assured me that Doug was not only a theology and history professor, but that He was the most challenging, provocative and popular faculty member. I placed Doug into my got to get to know box.
Next Doug incident was that my daughter was going with a group of students on a boundary water camping and canoe trek, somewhere close to the Canadian border. I asked, “Why?” Response, “Dad, we’re going to be traveling in beautiful nature focusing on our minds, life’s meaning, what Jesus means to us and where are we headed.” “How many, how much, with who, and when?” Typical father stuff. It was a worthwhile adventure for Christine.
Soon Doug had an idea that was a dream about what he wanted to invest his life in. It was students in an isolated place where learning was a way of life. He found a lumber camp that had closed down the operation on highway 66 in Lincoln, Oregon. I don’t know how Doug did it, but he became the owner of 5 homes and 10 cabins. Soon there were students and faculty ready to go. Students stayed in the cabins, faculty taught in their homes. Students cut wood for the winter, hiked in the beautiful hills, lived in close quarters caring for each other and cooked their meals in primitive conditions.
On one of my west coast begging experiences, I had the opportunity to drop in and see. Lincoln, Oregon had another sign that read, Oregon Extension. The school was accredited and things looked basic but good. Doug showed me what they owned and what they needed. The lumber camp administration building plus other stuff was across the highway from the cabins and homes and could be purchased including over 100 acres. With no funds and living frugally but graciously, it was just a dream. I connected with Doug, his mission, what had been a dream accomplished and the love community grabbed my heart and head to do something.
That same trip took me to Orange in Southern California where my friends that were collected over 15 years resided and worked. I started sharing the picture of Lincoln and Doug. Two friends who were doing well financially took a trip to Lincoln, met Doug Frank, saw the dream , purchased the property, deeded it to Lincoln Extension and for over 30 years, young students seeking meaning and purpose were able to have classrooms, library, chapel services and a place to hang out. One of the givers is one of my super close friend is on the dream team for developing a community that cares. Doug’s dream, Oregon Extension is a community that focuses on caring spiritually for young people looking for direction, meaning and purpose for their days of living life.
Now in it’s 36th year, the most ambitious dream is under construction that started 2 years ago, a small group stride purposely out to the chapel rising towards the heavens, constructed with Lincoln timber hewn into beams with precision with meticulous care. It was said in the OE newsletter, “to witness these gentle souls work under the most adverse conditions of sweltering summer heat or winter’s wet and cold, supporting one another with good cheer and fortitude is a beautiful gift,” That’s good community that started with a dream----then lots of challenges.
Dr. Doug Frank just completed a book titled, A Gentler God.” Mines in the mail and will be the classic to start the year 2011 reading to Joan and reliving my friendship with Doug Frank. Thank you, Doug Frank.

DROWNING ?

A friend told me recently, “If problem’s was water, I’d have drowned by now.”

People are drowning all around us. They are drowning in our community, cities, country, clubs, church’s, etc. We are drowning in the over abundance of political games, in instant news from all over the world, TV (the average viewing is now about 5 hours per day). Then there is the picture of people drowning in work, organized involvements, sports, sporting events and entertainment. None of this stuff is necessarily bad, but it can be if it becomes an addiction and crowds out the important elements of a truly quality style of living.. These pictures are obvious and loud to our neighbors and friends. Their addictions may have a different hue and they probably travel on paths keeping everyone separated.

Then there is “quiet drowning.” They are hardly noticed, but never the less, some people are drowning differently and quietly.

My oldest son is an illustration. For 20 years (between 20 and 40 years of age) David was drowning in the addiction of drugs and booze. He was quietly drowning right before our eyes. David’s eyes about life changed when a life raft was thrown and he was able to come ashore. Many people are quietly drowning in drugs or booze and need “life lines” to living abundantly. I’m encouraged by my son’s efforts to help people out of the bottle of destruction. That keeps David’s life full in friend gathering.

There are other serious and sinister addictions. Porn and sex is a constant attraction but we won’t go there. Shopping and the collection of trash (in the big picture perspective) can be found in the pleasure of “malling” and now it’s the #1 addiction, especially the young. Travel adventure’s is my favorite thing and could overtake my life, trying to live in a balanced way.

Knowledge that leads to pride can cause one to drown in a sea of knowledge. Knowledge should be shared in helping people. The biggest desire of man’s heart is “more for me,” especially money. Man equates money with painless and problem free living, more profit and more pleasure.

I have no formulas in dealing with various addictions, only a collection of ideas that friends have shared with me that are helping me in my walk up the path of life, one day at a time.

• Looking up and listening in total quietness to God’s voice. This came from Mother Teresa
• Love lavishly the family and don’t get in the way of other’s dreams. Dr. Timothy Johnson.
• Live lively, daily collecting friends, sharing the heart’s desires, plant seeds. Jill Briscoe.
• Lighten up, have fun, enjoy the days of living life, don’t diet and exercise. C. Wennstrom
• Learn each day the value of our greatest gift, that of really caring. Henri Nouwen

This sounds good and looks good to me, but it’s not easy. Every day there’s hurdles and some day’s heartaches.

EARLY MORNING THOUGHTS
There is a right time for everything. Ecclesiastes 3
Timing is everything.
A time to rebuild, a time to heal.
A time for gathering stones, a time for scattering stones.
A time to hug, a time not to hug.
A time to speak up, a time to be quiet.
A time for peace

Man cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I conclude that, first, there is nothing better for a man than to be happy and to enjoy himself as long as he can; and second, that he should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of his labors, for these are a gift from God. I saw that there is nothing better for men than at they should be happy in their work, for that is what they are here for, and no one can bring them back to life to enjoy what will be in the future, so let them enjoy it now.

What ever God does is final---nothing can be added or taken from it; God’s purpose in this is that man should fear the all powerful God.

Tackle every task that comes along, and if you fear God you can expect his blessings.

Keep on sowing your seed, for you never know which will grow --- perhaps many will grow.

It is a wonderful thing to be alive! If a person lives to be very old, let him rejoice in everyday of life, but also let him remember that eternity is far longer, and that everything down here is futile in comparison.

ESCAPE!

You know of many places to escape to. Some far away like New Zealand, Maui, or Paris. Others are closer. Puget Sound, Yosemite, Vail, and Boston are some of my favorites.

I escaped with Dan, Harry and Richard, 10 days touring in France, Germany, Austria, Italy, and Switzerland. Cathedrals, famous museums with clear views, and the autobahn blended with gourmet food, extravagant wine, beer and good beds. At the end of this experience, in a roadside family restaurant on Lake Magoire, Dan conducted a communion service that brought tears of gratefulness for our friendship, but above all thankfulness for our bond in our commitments to Jesus Christ. It was vibrant aliveness.

Another trip (escape) was to the Netherlands on a mission’s experience. The travel colleagues were Bill and David. Within an hour after landing in Amsterdam, 5 minutes in a rental auto, we almost were in a massive car crash. After that almost heavenly call, we enjoyed a culture of Christians working in God’s vineyard. Three days with friends, friendly fun, learning facts, gaining feelings with friends and experiencing a time of renewal.

Another great escape, to date, was to Mexico. That gave a cultural experience swinging between living with a lovely family and seeing love, worshiping in the Cuernavaca Cathedral on Palm Sunday, sharing with the Monsignor about the opportunities in caring for homeless children, widows and the poorest of the poor then leaving with a heart to help. 100 million people in Mexico, 50% live below the poverty line and 20 million people are living on dirt floors without running water, electricity, sanitation, refrigeration, transportation, etc. Our hearts, heads and hands can care and share with our neighbors, especially the homeless and orphaned children, widows and the poorest of the poor. The Mexicans live in a cradle to grave Catholic culture. That’s different than living in a religious home. The country is very poor with no social nets. This tends to encourage loving one another because that is what they can survive on. We could show Jesus love that starts with a cup of cold water.

A superior escape would be a monastery in Austria, Tuscany, the Alps or any blessed place of beauty. It would be a gathering of a few friends. There would be no agenda, a time to really share the beauty of the place, the inner desires of the souls, the creativity of the group’s gourmet cooking and toasting with good wine. Also, it’s a time to be quiet, enjoying pure silence, walking in the rain, lounging in the sun. Have “brain drippings” on helping the poorest of the poor while listening to and loving God and His creation-- with friends. Let’s go!

My list for such a treat has 12 special friends that together their “heart and head drippings” could develop a roadmap in the collecting and connecting friends to a cause that’s so huge, God would have to lead. It would focus on caring and sharing with our neighbor’s children.

I would love to attend the “Gathering of Hearts.”

There’s much joy in thinking about such an event. What do you think?

Every Friend is Part of Our Ball of Yarn

“Dad, you’ve got to meet Glen!”
Since I enjoy meeting people my response was “Okay!”. A call for a visit by a stranger was warmly received and the time was agreed upon. Marge, Glen’s wife answered the door and our first visit began. Glen was sitting in a lounge chair with a blanket over his legs and a warm smile as we shook hands. Glen was ninety-two and unquestionably the most intelligent person I had ever met. He had the priceless gift of self knowledge.
We met for one to two hours almost every week. My journey is finding clues as to how to age well. Glen was a gold mine because his mind had reached the higher levels of Christian life. Every week I gleaned jewels of wisdom as I asked questions on the subject of interest. He had learned how God speaks in the ordinary things of life and could communicate to the heart. After dealing with so many people with issues of struggling with life and were calling for help, I learned how skillful his listening became and how short his answers were, for example, “What is, is, and the purpose of life is to have purpose.”
The height of delight was when Marge went to her Conn organ and played Glen’s and my favorite hymns. She never had lessons but oh, how she played from her heart. She partnered Glen’s warmth and intelligence. Their love relationship endured the final days of Glen’s life as he went to heaven to participate in a new life in November 2007.
Marge’s life was changed. She did not want a meaningless life or an irrational use of her gifts because Glen would not want that for her. The idea of playing hymns on her Conn organ in her comfort zone became a challenge. Since most churches of this century have different sounds (usually without an organ), the 20th century church attendees miss the sounds of their past. Many memories are brought to life humming hymns.

FAD

In the middle of the last millennium (1900’s), the hot book for small business men was Think and Grow Rich. Like most small entrepreneur business men, I wanted the security of being rich. The desire of the heart was to have a nice family, friends, fine home, new cars, good vacations, money in the bank and a good retirement fund. I invested time reading the book where I learned, “You have to focus!” It became a time of frustration.

The days were energized. Being caught up in the “getting” complex was exciting. Living in a growth area and as a builder, opportunities were abounding. The family was growing and with four children our lives became hyper. Business growing? “Yes!” Church demanding? “Yes!” Service Club action? “Yes!’ Collecting stuff? “Yes!” Vacations? “Yes!” Life was moving forward and upward. But, I was not focused and that started to bug me. What to focus on became the issue. Most of our friends were caught up in the same cloud.

The questions came, “Is that what life is all about?” “What should the focus be?” “Can life be different?”

“Is there another style?” “What should we focus on?” “Where is the true meaning of life and living?” “Can there be fulfillment on the tread mill?”

It’s taken many years and experiences to finally become aware that FAD (Focus Attention Disorder) is the disease. In the last century, the word fad was the same word this century has for trend (trendy). Others are “COOL and that’s HOT.” Chasing the trends or being cool, cool or hot, can be costly. Life can become a blur with no focus on the true value and meaning of life. Maybe the disease FAD is here to stay and will never go away. Life is a chase, nothing more and nothing less.

The Keeper of Meaning people take pills to combat FAD. It’s like taking pills to prolong life. The KM pills have no cost and they give real meaning and fulfillment to life. They give zest to the reason to get out of bed. Some good pills:

• Talk to God. He loves us unconditionally. Love is the basis of life for the Keeper of Meaning.
• Share openly with the family. Listen to the grapes and gripes of life. Love unconditionally.
• Collect friends. Friends are the treasures of life, stuff is not. Accept friends unconditionally.
• Do what you can do for the people in real need, especially abandoned children.
• Enjoy each day as a priceless gift. It’s the present that counts. It’s a gift from God. Enjoy the love that is generated one step at a time.

Recognizing FAD in your life is good. It’s a time of a fork in the road on the quest of true meaning for living. Focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus. It reduces FAD!

There is a difference in being wealthy and rich. Being rich is being a Keeper of Meaning

FROM A RAFT, TO RAFTING

Your living and life can be like sitting or lying on a raft on a quiet pond or waveless lake, Huck Finn style. No sail, no engine, no rudder, a plain raft. The things you have or want are close at hand. No movement, just comfort, but without contentment. Life is good, but boring.

Soon you see other plain rafts. The desire for interactive company will cause a rafter to drift over and intertwine and reduce boredom. Now there’s 2, maybe 3 rafts somewhat connected. Some times it’s an invitation from men who are in service club, like Rotary, Lions, Chamber of Commerce, etc. It may be a golf, tennis or poker group. A larger group of rafts, each headed in the same direction. The connection can be superficial because the rafts (persons) are different. The party keeps going in a circle, collecting more rafts.

Billions of people have roamed the planet and still there’s only one you (or raft that carries you). This is by design. Our creator, from the beginning, decided that each person would be uniquely crafted for propagation and to make contributions in making this world a better place (Genesis). We usually don’t accept our “uniqueness” for contributing as individuals connected to God. We’d rather connect with others in doing something, so we become “groupies” and that’s OK sometimes.

The largest group of “groupies” (billions), are found in buildings called churches. Their rules are different than other groups. It seems that there is the pride of knowing the truth that defines their differences from other groups. They are a collection of rafts that individually have different sails, compasses and destinations. Eventually they drift into two batches, those on the right who pleasure in “talking the talk” and the ones who “walk the walk.” Jesus would probably give titles like the Pharisees/Sadducees to the right side. The title Samaritans would define the left side. The majority, or the “middlers” go with the flow, making no waves, but they see the tension. This could be called drafting, following the leader or whoever.

The church in Scandinavia that my father (and generations of the family) grew up in was built in the 1300’s. It was charming, but with one strange statue hanging from the ceiling over the pulpit. It was a 4 foot long, 4-sail clipper ship. The explanation was that it represented the life for the men of the island during the 1800’s.

The sails were down. Cousin Knut explained “Ya, when the ships quit sailing, the sails came down. It’s like the church here, the sails are down and the church is not moving.” Now the building is used for monthly organ recitals. The church no longer lives. That’s sad for me, but illustrates the picture of the church when the sails are down it doesn’t move.

I like to have friends, and I have a collection of precious friends, friends, etc. Yesterday, in the local Christian bookstore, my eye was attracted to a very thin book (the kind I like) with the title, IT’S WHO YOU KNOW. Since the author was Franklin Graham (son of Billy), it had to be OK, so a purchase was made. It is about the one relationship that makes the difference.

On page 27, of a 45-page booklet are the words, “The Bible makes it very clear that God loves us. He cares for us and He wants us to live our lives to the fullest.” He wants us to sail, catching His spirit on a voyage that He has charted. When I’m alone, my sail should be trimmed and moving in the right direction. When I’m connected to a relationship (raft), I should share the sailing energy that’s moving me.

Ideally for me, when I gather, with brothers and sisters, whether at my church or as a visitor, my sail and all of our individual sails should come down. Then we can focus on the sail of Christ, who is the Chief Sailor with a pure sail, on the right and true course, heading in the right direction.

Many times, I want to be in a power, speed boat with plenty of gas and my selected destination without sensitivity to “breezes.” Just go and glow but not slow. The beginning of the trip was exciting but the ending was filled with “Do I want to be here, was it worth it, etc.” Each doing was a case of vanity and pride. Emptiness usually would set in even though I was collecting experiences and stuff, but the ending was with no reward for my soul.

I finally discovered the thrill of “soul rafting.” No motor, no gas, no place to go. Soul rafting is when one is focused on God’s current of love, which can range from fast to slow, through darkness and light. It’s an adventure when there are 2 or 3 (or more) in the raft with head, heart, and hands connected while soul rafting with the Son’s directives. Then life is full of amazing graces that keeps each day an adventure of collecting special memories with precious friends in the joy of Kingdom Building.

Try “Soul Rafting,” a life-saving experience.

Prince Charles,

How ya doin? How was January? How’s Tatsiana? How’s Roy? What’s going to be fun in 2007?

My January was filled with health hurdles with 6 doctor’s appointments, 3 days at Condell Medical and Health Resort for some sewer pipe work. Then 16 visits to the hospital for stomach stabs of lomenox. The frosting on the balls was that in February, the Bears were blasted.

Worse than that, was the canceling the trip to the sun place (friends in Southern California) and enjoy celebrating life with them. Maybe April.

It’s a sewer pipe problem. If we can’t find the right plumber (doctor) to remove the mass from the inside, then it’s in Dr. Miller’s hands to take a section of the pipe out later in March. He knows my stomach after 4 surgeries and 22 inches of stitches. Not a happy thought. Another lengthy recovery if surgery.

Today I’m vertical and enjoying blending collective marketing/communication with Andrew. It’s about sharing the plight of our neighbor’s children and telling the stories about 3 groups who care enough to care. Real authentic “doers” in Monterrey and Reynossa, Mexico

Our countries (US-MEX) are unable to blend the cultures and the corruption necessary to redirect our relations and give dignity to life. We are divided and the downward struggle for solutions continues at blinding speed. Now, maybe the ultimate solution lies in the hope that our children and the children of generations coming will blend with children in Mexico and learn about love and what loving one another can do. It may take generations, much creativity and compassion, but it may be possible. It is in the trying that pleases God.

The connection with the groups Caring Action of Children in Mexico, Back2back in Monterrey and Faith Ministry in Reynossa are worthy of our “doings.” Their stories will move friends.

We’ll need all your ideas and comments as we do something.

Harry a friend, gave me the Acts concept of doing. Acts 3:1-10, Peter and John were on their way in life, but they stopped and did what they could do. That’s all that’s needed, doing what we can do. OK?

La vida es bello, A&O

PS Maybe I can get to visit you in September and share the action of the learning center in Monterrey.
It would be nice to have lunch at Sam’s. Reading has become my adventure since Joan cannot read any more. The good news is that I get to choose what to read. I just finished reading, the Immigrants. I’m now into, Unto a New Land. The early Swedish immigrants (1850-1920) had it tough. My parents came to America at the age of 16 at the turn of the last century. After reading what they went through, I wish that they told me their story.

Joan has a plaque that reads,” Living with a Swede Builds Character.”
We Swedes can be nuts.

FINAL RIDE

Dr. Bud always say’s, “the next trip is the best trip.” We’ve had marvelous experiences traveling with his family to Greece and Italy worshipping on Palm Sunday with the Pope. Then to Portugal adding more family in Spain and France, which was a tad better than the 1st trip. Another outstanding family experience (#3) was to Scandinavia. Then the Dr and I did a New England number in the fall that I’ll never forget. Joan and I did a better trip to more places in New England meeting with friends with better weather and color. The last trip so far has been the best trip. With 3 to go (California, Mexico, Luxembourg, Bruge) planning is where “it’s at.” The image (planning) is better than reality.

From 1999 to 2007, I had 5 trips to death row. Each serious and each could have been the last trip. For some of the roommate’s, it was their last trip. Obviously one gives serious thought about the last trip.

My family does not want to discuss my last trip, or any one else’s in the family. When I tell them that I’ve designed my funeral, the go ballistic. I think most people are the same, what I call “death denying.” I’ve given much thought to my death and funeral. To me most weddings and funerals are boring. They are so traditional and predictable with the spending of money making the difference.

With my grandsons, we’ve toyed with some ideas for my funeral. So far, the best is that I pre tape some phrases that can be played from the coffin as people pass by, such as, “don’t I look bad for the last trip?” Several others, “Will you hurry up? Why are you here? I hope the preacher doesn’t preach too long or hard.” One of my grandsons would control the switch. That would shake up the attendees too much.

I wish for a celebration for the last trip, that it would be the best trip beyond imagination. The celebration would not be for me, my family, friends, on lookers or the professionals, but just celebrating my FAITH, HOPE and LOVE of JESUS who is giver of eternal life. Only he can give the last trip. It will be in the right way to the right place in the right time. What a day of rejoicing that will be.

The last trip is the best trip and our daily plans and doings should reflect that fact.

The cycle of life on this earth will be complete on the best day of our life. We have so little information about the last day as well as the eternal life other than it will be with our savior and carrier of our soul.

The last trip is reality for every one. God’s will is that every one should be with Him and His promises are valid for making the last trip, the best trip.

FINALLY A COMPASS

Reality is that every one is the place for only one person. My reality is me, your reality is you. The opportunities are singular. The egos are uniquely crafted with no two bodies the same. We are individually responsible for where and how we travel.

I’m only able to present me with no intention to advise anyone and judgement is only reserved for God.

The preceding illustrations fit only me. So why is it pertinent? This is a “me” thing for the clan that follows as the result of my wife Joan and our journey. While most parents desire better living for each family member, less struggles and less pressures on a smoother path, we know that’s impossible.

So family and friends, come take a ride with me in my next to final cycle excursion.

As I use to look in the rear view mirror, I saw many experiences, trails of trash, regrets, lot’s of negatives. I should have had a career of achievement, been a better husband, father, father-in-law, grandparent, friend, doing many good deeds, etc. So I quit looking back and now I focus on the road ahead.

At over 80 years young, the illustration is of a car with no engine or fuel, just pedals like the old fashioned toy that required energy. As the road sign told me that I’ve entered my final quarter, I’ve become sensitive to the road ahead blended with the desires of my heart.

HEART’S DESIRES;
• Faith that gets stronger every day.
• Hope,that is clear and that includes my desires that have been through the laundry.
• Love that is deeper for my family, friends and the neighbors who are poor.

HEAD’S DESIRES;
• Think longer about things that are really important in life.
• Meditate more on the meaning of life and the future.
• As Mother Teresa wrote, “Be still, quiet, and listen to God every day and night.”

HANDS TO GIVE;
• Paint memories and messages using different art forms.
• Write stories of life and encouragement.
• Give to the poorest widows and orphans in Mexico connecting the Friends Collection.

These are words that I should review every day as well as the illustration so I keep moving towards the right place in the right way for the right reason with the right people.

FINDING THE X

Finding great things like the life partner is powerful. Learning about the child in escrow is exciting. Feeling as though you are on the road to success is significant. Getting high on your purpose driven life is desired. But basking in the Spirit led life is special.

It’s taken eight decades to find my X. X is my engine, my heart and the collection of my unique factors. Now life is so good.

Sharing the X idea with Ed, he responded with the description of the four parts of the engines that moves our treasured possessions: automobiles. First is the input, then compression, followed by combustion and finally emission. That’s part of my X description.

The cardiologist has clear diagrams of the heart on his office wall to help explain a heart problem. Having heart problems for fifteen years, I still don’t understand how the heart does what it does. At an average heart rate of 80 beats per minute, my calculator tells me that my count to date is around 2,018,304,000,000 beats of life giving energy. Our Highest had to create this marvelous mechanism. We live on so long as He determines. This is the major X component.

X

Like the engine and heart description, the X has four compartments, the upper, lower, left, right.
The quest in learning how to age well is to fit the major factors of life into a focus that functions.

• The upper space positions our faith, the crest of living. Saint Ignacias’ life started as a nobleman, then damaged by war wounds, he sank into extreme, pitiful poverty searching for a life of meaning, without a leg. After looking up in faith, the last fifteen years of his life resulted in the building of seventeen universities in Europe. The process for him was a daily time of confession, meditation, contemplation, and communication with God. Communicate the X.
• The lower space represents the collection of family. This is like a garden of flowers we have planted. Each person is unique, created by God for us to nurture, encourage, and enjoy by bathing each one in love. The generations that follow will reflect our tender loving care.
• The space on the left illustrates the place for our friends. By staying connected, we add memories to our thought life. Since we can remember the best in friends, life takes on a hue that will add to the collection to stay connected with. Life is so good with friends. Treasures.
• The right space is our compassion for the hurting in the arid world of poverty and pain. For me it’s a purpose with passion, of loving our neighbor’s abandoned children in Mexico. There are things to do. They start with faith, a supportive family and friends’ awareness of the blessings given by the poor. In God’s economy, the poor have the blessings to give.

The heart with an engine operating on all four is when life is so good.

Los amigos son un tesoro en la vida.

Viejo Olfar

FINE LIAR’S CLUB

For Individuals, Non Engaged

There are “down” times in life. These are opportunities to gripe at the group. Today is a “griper” day for me because I’m under medical surveillance, my spirits are soggy and my soul is searching for authentic (not plastic) meaning in my day to day living. The weather fits the mood being dreary, rainy and dark. It’s a great day to gripe.

You ask, why gripe, it won’t do any good. It does me good because when I put pen to paper I have a chance to look at a broader, deeper picture of human doings that is a cultural craziness that lacks goodness even though intended to be good.

Gripe #1 When people ask, how ya doin? I can’t really tell them because they can’t be bothered to help only because everyone needs help. Everyone (if they’re truly honest) has problems whether physical, relational, financial, emotional or spiritual. So we say, “Just fine, or God is good, or it’s such a beautiful day and everything is fine, etc.” The responses become rote with lack of true feeling. It’s easy to drop the conversation and move on to the next person and question, “how ya doin?”

Sometimes when asked, “how ya doin?’ I respond “terrible!” That’s a tough one to handle. Then I usually say, “no one gives a rip!” That’s real tough. Some people just walk away without a word. Some will say, “Well I do,” even if they don’t know me from Adam so I ask, “Why should they give a rip?” They can’t and I understand.

At church there’s a different set of rules that says, “We’re fine because of Jesus.” One Sunday, I asked a very close friend, “how ya doin?” His response, “Fine.” So then I asked, “how ya really doing?” Response, “I feel like _____and I really dislike the dishonest answer that I have to give to everyone who greets with, “How ya doin?” We are very close friends and can be truly honest with each other as we share the pains, problems and pleasures of our faith, family and friends. We care and share our “Doins.” Jesus loves us so we can love each other and that gives real meaning to our friendship. It’s called being “open,” honest and clear to each other.

Gripe #2 Almost everyone ends a conversation with, “have a good day!” Now what does that mean? A good day for one person (like golf) maybe pain and misunderstanding to another. Having a good day is different for everyone and it would be nice to share the good day story with not only friends, but strangers like telephone caller’s and money taker’s at the market. How to do such a thing would take creative feelings.

How am I going in handling my #1 & #2 gripes? I hope to increase deeper connections with friends and contacts with cheerfulness (even when hurting), color (even when I feel down and dirty), careful with my words, having a caring heart, always courteous, courageous and committed to letting my light shine. This means taking the focus off self, being kind to the other so they ask, “why?” Then the “who lights” shine and a friend connection starts.

Idealistic? Yes! Do-able ? It takes trying. Worthy? Be the judge. I’m going to try to not say, “How ya doin?” I hope to develop better questions for building positive relationships.

LA FLEUR

French flowers are only equal to flowers everywhere. There are different flowers found in every part of the globe. There are thousands of species with millions of varieties. God really loves flowers since they were the first living thing He created. On the 1st day came light. God created light and separated it from darkness.
The 2nd day, God separated the water from under the sky from the water above the sky.
The 3rd day, God spoke: “Separate! Water beneath Heaven, gathered into one place; land, appeared!” And there it was, Earth.

On the 4th day God created flowers and all the other plants with seeds that could propagate the earth with color as He moved toward creating man 3 days later. With soil, water and sunlight, the most famous garden, Eden, flowers were creating the most colorful entrance for mankind to enter that the world has ever seen. The beauty is beyond imagination.

Flowers and plants are the most beautiful of all creation. All anyone has to do is pick a flower and focus on it for several minutes and start to marvel at the design, uniqueness, structure, size, aroma, and soon the beauty emerges. God has assisted man in enhancing the flowers for all to enjoy. A bunch of roses seems to excite everyone. A garden of tulips in the spring, a basket full of garden flowers in the summer, bouquet of mums in the fall and poinsettias at Christmas time, all bringing thankfulness for friends goodness in giving living color at special times.

There are many outstanding bouquets that are untouched by human hands. For example: My early childhood recollection of fields of California poppies igniting spring. Beautiful are the lupine and day lilies lining the roads in Illinois all summer long. The tulip fields in Holland, massive yellow granola fields in southern Germany, the acres of giant sunflowers in Tuscany, Italy, and 1000’s of other places and species.

Man was created to enjoy God’s creation and I think that flowers represent beautiful living things like people. We know that God loves us and each one of us is beautiful in His sight. Next in the beauty parade of living things are flowers and like people, there are no two the same, people or flowers.

What’s the point(s)?

Be grateful for God’s creativity in 7 days. Life is holy, life is precious. Life is an attitude. Take time to enjoy every flower you ever see. Look at the uniqueness, color(s), textures, setting, delicateness, exquisiteness, softness and aroma. Hold with tenderness. Learn to love every person that you connect with, especially children, as examples of God’s love.

Collect friends and learn why God made them like flowers to be fully cared for and giving all that we can in enhancing every day. Love will grow in our hearts.

FREEDOM

Socrates once asked a simple old man what he was most thankful for. The man replied, “That being such as I am, I have had the friends I have had.”

Our English word friend comes from the same root as the word freedom. Webster’s definition of a friend is one you can trust and when there is a common cause. I’ve heard a variety of other definitions, such as, a friend is one who listens with 2 ears open and the mouth closed. A friend is one who knows your birthday, but not your age, a friend is one you can gossip with and the words go no farther. A friend knows you, but loves you anyway. I like the last one best.

I asked a group of 15 senior’s, “Describe your first real friend.” Almost all described a childhood friend during the ages of 10 to 15. The stories were warm and moved their spirits. Only 2 retained the connection over the 60 to 70 years. Very few replaced the intimacy of the earliest true friend. Most wished they had such a friend. I concluded that friendship’s, or acquaintances come then go as we become mobile moving up our ladder in search of happiness and fulfillment. We don’t have time or we fear intimacy. We fear rejection with the thought that if one really knew us they wouldn’t want us as a friend.

I find that the older I get, friends are becoming so important. They are the treasures of life. Most important is my faith, my deepest friendship, total love. Then comes my family, binding blood. Next treasured friends add to this collection of reasons for living my days with energy. I’ve learned the freedom of being myself in these relationships, with openness and honesty, still feeling the love that is the joy that makes for gratefulness and grace in living.

A friend is one of the best things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. A friend is a living treasure, better than diamonds, and if you have one, you have one of the most valuable gifts in life.

John, the apostle had the closest of all friends. Jesus is our #1 friend who knows us and loves us anyway. That’s total unconditional love. He’s the ultimate lover and friend. He gives to us maximum freedom and opportunities for friends.

Like windows and doors that can be opened and light that shines as a lighthouse to all people, our gathering of friends will grow and glow as we are free to be a friend. Freedom is the most wonderful ingredient for living a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Friends
Friends are my extended family and each moment with them is a time of encouragement to live fully because as the runway gets shorter, encouragement fuels life.

The answer to life’s deepest meanings is not found in the pursuit of products and programs, but meaning is found in connecting with friends, listening, laughing, learning and rubbing hearts in openness and peace. For me, it’s “Sacred Space.”

True friends point us to roads and relationships and activities that can be helpful in growing in relation to God and others. This leads to the delightful discovery of the selves God calls us to be.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Tell me what you know.” That’s the question I ask my friends and life becomes richer as the world becomes one for the moment. As I’ve grown older, it seems less and less about celebrating life in actions, but more in the wisdom of friends. We are all here to grow in wisdom and learn how to love better. As we each do this in our own ways, we slowly become a blessing to those around us and a light in the world. Friends are blessings. Olfar

FROM ME TO THEE

After over 80 years of collecting experiences that blends the regrets, recoveries, rewards eventually comes together that leaves tracks to reflect on. Living a life of no regrets is as impossible as living a life only rewards. There are times for recovering. The heart always is seeking recovery. These words are about exploring the soul, the heart of every person. Life is like sailing, not like a power boat for reaching hopes, dreams, reality, etc. Power boats illustrate control of the destination (unless you run out of fuel, food, etc.). Sailing is an illustration of total dependency. No one control over the winds of fate, no power of the spirit or wishes, sometimes not even a harbor in view.

A life given to sailing is adventuresome. At birth we have incredible wants with insecurities driving in a direction that’s controlled. The demands of the “I” are never totally satisfied. “I” moves towards meeting the desires of the heart, the lust of the flesh and a path of desires that will never be achieved. My “I’ knows all to well the “I” life. The “I” is never fulfilled. Life is always striving. Pressing towards a goal never achieved. A life of no needs, wants, total satisfaction, controlled, free without the “we” is hollow on the inside, shining on the outside. It takes time to realize the necessity of the “we” in life. It’s our relationships of trust, love, cause, living to learn, laughter, with joy in concert that helps make living worth while.

“I” is a very small word that holds stories of pain, problems, people, relationships, and purpose of the 6 billion people on planet earth, the billions who have died and the billions yet to come. History has provided many “I” stories in print and we know well our personal story. Only God has the big picture of all the “I” that includes the most minuet details.

At 83 years of history that has collected people, pleasures, problems, pains and tons of trash, I’ve recently been thinking about the word legacy. What am I going to leave my family, trash? They have their own pile and continue to heap stuff into their lives, but that’s OK. One legacy that will continue on in this century at least is my DNA droppings. If the current trend continues of 3.2 children per family, there will be over 300 people that will have “droppings” at the end of the 21st century. All part of the genetic “crap shoot.”

The objective of these words is to give a picture of an “I” that will be a part of their lives forever. Hopefully they will direct their paths that avoid or reduce the pains and unsolved problems that I’ve had as well as learn about my pleasures as well as meet people who make up my family and collection of treasured friends, very good friends, friends and others.

One of my sons said, “Why don’t you put your life into words?” A very good friend later challenged me to write about people who have impacted my soul. I have soul sailors, that have helped in setting the goal for the soul. Since I have CHF (congestive heart failure) there are sleepless nights when my mind is collecting thoughts and theses challenges have got me started on this path of print. Mother Teresa’s path to peace was simple and straight- forward. First listen, block all thoughts that are self- centered, listen, listen, listen. That is a difficult first step. Next pray, then meditate, followed by love, and works of charity. The result is a peaceful head, heart and hands wired together with a purpose for living. So Mother Teresa is one who impacted my soul.

Fifteen or so years ago I wrote the story of my life called JODARE. There was a break in my schedule that I needed to fill doing something (since I’m a workaholic). It’s a picture I wanted to express that as I read it today there is a lot of BS. Maybe it is a picture of who I wanted people to see. Time was invested, history of my life is in “Jodare” (and fairly accurate). Now I’m including the stuff in my legacy barrel. “In the past I have lived to learn. Now it is time to learn to live.” That was so true and it was a step in readjusting my compass and start “soul sailing.” The essence of life is to learn the love and purpose we were created for. I’m still learning one day at a time, the upward steps of learning to live. So the following is what has happened, what I hope happens and some of the truths that have been learned. Since being schooled in the BS life, these words are going to be monitored by friends and family.

Today I read the 15 year old pile of words and technically there were a few errors. Emotionally it was not valuable other than to realize that life is a process to be lived. The desires of the heart then still persist but time has added twists and turns that need to be in print if the 70 pages written have closure. I was 63, still striving for surviving. Many more pages need to be added to this legacy.

It’s time to shift from “I” to “WE” so this is my attempt to combine my faith, family, treasured friends, friends and other stuff and try to unpack the baggage getting ready for the big trip.

The longer I live, the more my faith in my Lord grows. A combination of a need to understand more about Jesus, relinquishing my striving and accepting the eternal hope that scripture describes. It’s growing from being religious in image, to a reality of spiritual purpose for the rest of my days. As Mother Teresa puts it, more listening, time in prayer, much meditation, a life filled with love to everyone, doing the good that God directs and resting in the peace that’s beyond understanding.

With 4 major wake up calls (intensive care) in the last years, I’ve not only have come close to death but closer to my eternal resting place. 1st was at the age 68, major heart surgery. Then at age 74, came major stomach surgery. At 75, more stomach surgery with a blood clot in my right lung. At age 76 a pacemaker insert followed by CHF attach (congestive heart failure) with a relapse a month later. Now I celebrate life 1 pill at a time, about 700 each month It would be nice if one cure all ills pill for a buck a day were made available. It would be a clean air industry of $2,190,000,000,000 annually with a 6 billion people market.

So now, I’m trying to live a life with my Lord that’s sweeter as the days go by. The old hymn expresses it well, “sweeter as the years go by, richer, fuller, deeper, Jesus’ love is sweeter, sweeter as the years go by.” We don’t sing the old goodies in church anymore but I hum them (mentally) during my sleepless hours because of CHF.

Recently, a mature friend said to quite trying. His simple formula was repent, relinquish, and relax on a day to day basis. He said, “That’s what scripture teaches.” It’s about re-new your mind, daily by listening to Jesus. It’s grand to have friends that care enough to give words that help in living life lavishly.

WE
Family

Joan, my lovely wife of 63 plus years started from different postures to take interest in each other. She was raised in Catholic schools until high school, was very attractive, dressed well, became recognizable in the hallways because of a large cast around her knee. An accident that she should share and how it impacted her life. Her image was one of wealth because of her taste in clothing, but especially because of the home her family lived in. I remember our first date, how when I drove up into an expensive neighborhood and into her driveway, my thoughts were WOW, she’s not only good looking but rich. A rich Catholic girlfriend was unthinkable in my family and church.

Here I was as a common (non-jock), a 3 ½ stripe evangelical with an image of a religious heretic. In Joan’s family, a mixture of relaxed Catholics to every Sunday mass Catholics was being courted by a nice young man who dressed well (important). As a nice young man, I took their precious daughter to nice restaurants and good movies, had been accepted as a cadet in WWII Army Air Corp, couldn’t be all bad and it probably wouldn’t last long anyway.

Joan surprised me by asking me to go with her to a sorority party. I responded positive not knowing who she really was, where she lived and what a date would be like. After thinking out these questions, I asked her to go do my favorite thing, go to a movie. Joan accepted. That’s when I had the WOW experience. We did hold hands on the first date and at the party that was at her home, we danced and kissed. That was the second WOW.

On July 26, 1947, we were married in our church, the Swedish Evangelical Free Church of Los Angeles, which up to that day was the hottest day in history for weather and the coldest day for our families because of the religious differences and that Joan had renounced the Catholic way of living. After 63 years we have moved from being independent to the dependency stage (Joan from home engineer and me a simple provider in a variety of efforts) to interdependency, my bouncing on the trampoline of life and Joan trying to keep equilibrium. To me, years were great and pleasurable, others with pain, problems, anxiety and struggle. As I look back in the rear view mirror, we have been blessed and our choosing of each other as life and soul partners could not have been better. I’ve said that marriages are lousy but I must say that I have not observed any marriage better than ours.

Today our family is not perfect, but very good. When asked how many children do you have, I respond “26!!!” That brings questionable eyeballs and responses. So then I explain. There’s David, Patti, Katherine, Eric, Vanessa, Lauren, Christofer, Cregg, Carla, Carin, Wil, Anders, Laura, Lissey, Christine, Bud, Lesley, Benjamin, Kate, Andrew, Gary, Heidi, Anna, Timothy, Karrisa, Natalia and a great grand children. This provides many gift shopping trips all year long.

15 of our children (plus grandma and grandpa) live in New Aland, a 30 acre oasis. It’s a story for when I get to the home places of our life from West Los Angeles to Antioch, Illinois (via Colorado, Oregon, New Mexico, Nebraska, North Dakota, Arizona, Kansas, Texas, Deerfield). We lived 40 years in California, 40 years in Illinois and 4 years in 8 other states. I must say, we’ve had a variety of “homes” in 84 years starting with basic birth 2, WWII 10, Korean War 5, others 16). A total of 33 “roofs” for an average of 2.5 years per home stay. The good news is New Aland where we have lived for 36 years and will probably be buried here.

THOSE

In the early 90’s, I was involved in the men’s movement developing gatherings for Christian men from different religious backgrounds to come together and celebrate our togetherness (not differences) worshiping our Lord. 1st year, 1700 men gathered in Kenosha. The next year 4500 men at Elmbrook, Milwaukee area with Joe Stowell as the magnet. By now we’re on the ground floor for bigger and better celebrations like Swindol, Colson, etc. I thought a double header at Bradley Center, Milwaukee with 14,000 seats could be a dynamic gathering with Chuck Colson as the magnet for the protestants and Nouwen in his white priestly uniform would gather our Catholic brothers. The underlying excitement was give the opportunity for Catholic men to hear Colson and the rest hear Nouwen.

My excitement rose as I received a response from Henri that he would meet with me and discuss men’s ministries. The problem was that he was leaving on a sabbatical and so our meeting would have to be delayed until his return to Daybreak, Toronto. With that positive response, I designed a trip for Joan and I to take to Toronto and Quebec City estimating that he could be available for a discussion and invitation to speak with Colson at a future gathering. Joan and I toured Yonge street (the reported longest straight street in the world) to Daybreak, entered the main office, met Cathy, Henri’s personal assistant and introduced who and why we were there. Cathy remembered the letters exchanged, said Henri was back from his trip but the bad news was that he had left a few days before to go back to the Netherlands to film Return of the Prodigal. We were encouraged and discouraged.

Quebec City was beautiful. When we arrived home I read that Henri had died of a heart attack in the Netherlands (his homeland). Henri was a friend that I never met eyeball to eyeball, but his words continue to minister to me especially in the dark nights of the soul. His words of challenging us to care for others and ponder less on selfishness and search beyond ourselves for producing fruit that becomes gifts to others for God’s glory.

Mike Duffy gave my the book, Seeds of Hope and Steve Sonderman gave to me a very good book 0n the spiritual legacy of Henri Nouwen by Deirdre LaNoue, a lady Ph.D. teacher at Dallas Baptist University.

Henri is a treasured friend and I’m grateful to God for the sharing of his journey with Jesus.

Life and soul was and still is looking for path maps lived by other 20th century folk that I understand and can relate to like Dr Paul Tourneau and his book Learning How to Grow Old and others can assist in living a life of love.

TO THEE

Life can be a swing between pleasures and problems, potential and pain, winning and losing, the ups and downs, the twists and turns, etc. Every person, their path, their beginning, their ending is individually unique. The center of our spinning and turning is the hub, God. He knows every piece of our life. In this last quarter I know that I know less and less for sure. One thing I know more clearly is “the grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our Lord stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)

Usually men do not want to think about failure. Rarely will a person admit a failure(s). It would be a sign of weakness, and we must look strong with our act being together in order to be respected and accepted. I have had many failures. I’ve thought about having a “Failure’s Gathering,” a small group siting around a table like at a poker game. The one who draws the short straw would share a failure (a small one), the next would top it with a bigger failure, next would do the same until the first round was completed. Then the group would vote on the winning failure. The game would continue until all failures were on the table and the winner of the most (or biggest) would be declared and toasted (not roasted).

When we fail, we become weak, discouraged, wishing to quit. I know, I’ve been at those points many times because of many failures. Recently I’ve learned that failure(s) can be blessings. They become learning experiences for sure, going back to a place of weakness and humbleness. But the greatest assurance is the scripture that tells us “when you are weak, the Lord can become strong.” So it becomes a gift. I have a cartoon customized to show me failing up the ladder. It’s humorous, but so is my perception of my failures. I call the cartoon, “failing up the ladder.” All the rungs are broken. I’m standing on the last rung. No desire to go back to any of the places of failure to try again.

Webster defines the word precept as to advise, teach a principle or rule imposing a standard of action or conduct. My being resists rules and regulations that are written. I’ve been one who has learned most of what I know by doing (like using this Gateway box). I try to put something together and when I don’t get results, I read the fine print. I’ve been trying to put a life together and now I’m reading the fine print of scripture and I’m finding that the words are truth based on experience.

A good friend’s favorite words to share is “Give away your life; you’ll find life given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” Early on, we are taught and conditioned to invest life. Invest in education, marriage, career, stuff, IRA, vacations, etc. Not giving. As we trod along, life is getting until there’s nothing (or funds) to get. Then we wonder about what to give. Eventually in reviewing what life should be, we have to make decisions on what can we give. My life was (is) blessed with a collection of experiences, not a focused career but diversity. No balance but a life what some would explain as severe wondering where to wander. Some day I would like to do is share my failures and the precepts I learned by doing that led me through some dark days.

To me, I’ve had many failures with emotional and a few times financial pain. That was my perception at the time. Now I view those experiences as rungs on the ladder of growth where the picture of life gets clear from a higher perspective. Being on the last rung is the best rung because the next step up is the best step up, being the last step up.

The last step is into the arms of God where life in eternity knows no failure, as He has promised.

DON’T GO THERE !!!

There, being “Garbage Mountain.”

Being frugal (in some things), when I’m finished oil painting for the day, I’ll scoop the left over colors and apply to a fresh canvas without a picture in mind. One of those paintings, started with “garbage paint” I call “Sky,” It is easy for me using the “sky oils.” Another left over paint job, I stacked old oil to form a multi-colored mountain followed by the water and “paraclete.” Check the definition with Webster.

“We’re going to end in consumption minutia and I can prove it in a test tube.” This was a shocking statement by a scientist as we shared dinner and time in Tampa, in 1970. Being a man of faith in God’s plan for human kind, I listened with unscientific ears. “Two cells in a test tube, left alone with food, will multiple exponentially until life ceases.” He continued “with current global birth rates it’s almost scientifically predictable when man will drown in his garbage because we’ll run out of “garbage burial ground.” Wow, what a waker upper.

Later, I met a manager with the Waste Management Company. I asked the question, “how much garbage per person per day in the Chicago area?” Answer, 4 pounds. 10,000,000 people yields equal’s 20,000 tons per day. I’ve wondered about the world garbage. How long before we drown? The scientist’s goal was to be a part of slowing the process but he was assured that the ending was to come in garbage.

We tend to collect “stuff” for future generations not realizing that they won’t want the “stuff” because they’re collecting their own stuff and stacking it on their “garbage” mountain.

A solution, collect experiences in your “paraclete.” The memories can be passed on in art forms or piles of words on paper that will share who you are for future generations. It will help them to understand the DNA genes that direct their process of living on earth. God directed in the early days of creation, as written in Genesis, is when God commanded us to procreate and sublimate His garden. That is to have children and care for the environment. Guide your “paraclete” away from garbage.

GATHERINGS

During the last half of the 20th century, the Christians in the church world went through phases starting with Crusades led by Reverend Billy Graham. Following by specialized programs like Campus Crusade, Navigators, Young Life, Awana, Bible Fellowships, Men’s Retreats, Women’s Retreats, and Youth Camps. It was then capped by marches with the purpose to make focused statements. Literally millions of people joined the action. This was church culture (industry).
Lynn was a cabinet salesman and I was a client. Soon we engaged in “church” talk. We soon discovered that we attended very different church cultures. We became friends and enjoyed discussing our different perspectives. One day I said, “Lynn, you go to a goofy church and I go to a different goofy church from our individual perspectives.” Since we had become friends, our conversations were interesting and comfortable respecting our differences. Then our relationship changed.
Lynn attended the first Promise Keepers gathering in Boulder, Colorado. It was a 2 or 3 day rally for men who desired a deeper spiritual life. There were contemporary singers and great fireball speakers. I remember the Monday morning he returned. I was his first stop. He was excited and quickly asked, “Dave, would you be my mentor?” I knew what he meant. I responded, “How can I be your mentor when I can’t find one for myself?” I said, “Let’s be brothers, OK?” That was the start of a fresh relationship. Soon he asked, “Heh brother, what are we going to do?” My response, “Let’s have a gathering of “Goofies,” men from a broad spectrum of churches like Pentecostal, Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Bible Churches, Episcopalian, 7th Day Adventist, etc. and celebrate the common thread that binds us together in spite of our differences.
That was a big idea. We pooled some cash, Lynn got the OK to use the new 2000 seat church he attended and I worked on the program. We thought if we got 500 men, we wouldn’t lose too much cash. The first Saturday night in February (very cold), we were surprised that over 1700 men showed up to this Wisconsin Men’s Gathering. It began and ended with unpredictability.
The next year under the leadership of Steve, 4500 men came to the second gathering on the first Saturday in February, 1994. The gathering was named No Regrets and has since gathered over 60,000 men by 2010. Every year, Steve leads a group of men who believe in the gathering concept. A collection of speakers that can move men forward spiritually, good-action, men singing, drama, and a variety of seminars for helping men think about the important things.
Lynn died of cancer in his early 50’s just before the 10th anniversary, full house celebration in 2003. Lynn loved the true meaning of life and enhanced my life with his “Brothering.” Lynn’s last request was to have men’s communion service led by Steve in his father’s home. It was a marvelous spiritual experience as Lynn shared his last thoughts with his brother, father, best friend, myself and with Steve. It was not morbid, but a beautiful bonding of hearts as we shared the Lord’s Supper. It was truly a brother’s gathering.
Steve has been there for so many men since he’s the associate pastor for men and ministers to over 3000 men who attend the church in the Milwaukee area called Elmbrook. Steve has grown to become a speaker at men’s retreats and conferences all over the world, and written books and manuals to assist men in living a manly life. He’s a wonderful friend called Steve the Swede. With five friends named Steve, I give special names. I hope you get to meet him on your journey. When in Wisconsin, try Elmbrook, you’ll like it.

GIVING BALANCE

A friend wrote a story on how balance is BS. His perspective was that with life’s ups and downs, blastings and blessings, sickness and health, loneliness and aliveness, fat and skinny, friends and foes, no way is there balance in living life. I forgot his conclusion. We all have perspectives about living life and conclusions from reality.

Today’s perspective for me is that much of life is driven by discontent in environments of discord resulting in discouragement. To be discouraged is a time when confidence, hope and spirit is drained and fulfillment wanes. Life gets soggy. It is reported that each of us gets about 1500 stimulants each day that are supposed to give reasons for living by getting, going, enjoying, changing, doing--- all temporal and temporary. Bigger is better, getting is great, more gives meaning, life can be a blast--- of happiness.

Having entered the last quarter at 84, my perspective by looking in the rearview mirror has shifted from getting to giving. In a desire to “trash, trash,” I recently took all our photographs out and took time going down memory lane, separating the meaningless like museums, building’s, and forgotten places from photos of people, mostly family. Hundreds were given to our children and some to friends. The value of my life came from the living, family and friends. My focus has been shifting from getting to giving--- to family and friends.

The purpose driven life is giving. Collecting more stuff is piling more problems for our heirs to dispose of. My children are collecting their own stuff and don’t need mine.

What to give? What my family and friends need is spiritual stuff like love, interest, care, kindness, support, communication, ideas, experiences that can help, assistance, tenderness and spirit.

I feel, for me, that encouragement is something I can give to help bring balance (not BS) into lives that I’m connected with. I asked a theologian friend what are the meanings of the word in the New Testament translated “encouragement?” His take was that of appealing, comforting, etc. and is related to one of the descriptions of the Holy Spirit (parakletos). Dr. Webster’s take is beautiful for encouraging..
• To inspire with hope
• To inspire with courage (a spirit enabling one to face hardship)
• To inspire with confidence
• To give support
• To stimulate

It looks and feels to me that my life should be a Spirit driven life of giving the right encouragement to my family, my friends and any contact en-route to the Promise Land. The giving of encouragement will yield blessings like Job 42:10.

GOLD COINS FOR THE GOLDEN YEARS

Laurie asked me to pray for old people at the special service at church tonight. Just 3 minutes is all that’s needed. That’s a tough request since I am old and know something about my wants but how should I pray for all the old people in the world with millions of different needs and wants. The Bible is the best instruction manual that can fill all the needs and wants of everyone, from infants to a 100. Here’s what I know and what the Bible says;

• The old really need courage to put living into life. God created life and life is a gift, it is precious, it is Holy and eternal. In Isaiah we learn that God has power to give to the faint; and He gives energy to the old who are weary, worried and wondering about the needs of the day.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40: 29-31

• The old (me) should use their 3 T’s (time, talent and treasures) to share and care for one another, especially the poorest of the poor. Our stuff is temporal but love is eternal. God shows how to love one another.

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another.
I Thessalonians 5: 11

• The old should daily visualize heaven and walk forward in prayer and jubilation.

I need thee continually because you hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.
Psalm 73: 23, 24

LORD, I’m prone to wander, to worry, to want. You know the desires of my heart and YOU know my prayer before I do. Help me on the path and feed me till I want no more.
YOUR love is precious to me.

AMEN

GRACE AND GRACE AND GRACIOUS

How many people do you know by the name of Grace? The first time I heard the word was at a young age at a home of a friend of dad’s. “Let’s say grace now.” You know what they meant.

I’m fortunate to have two friends with the name Grace. One is a given name and the other I gave the name of Grace. Let me explain.

Grace of Country Squire is famous in Antioch, Illinois. Recently her color picture with alengthy article appeared in The Herald. It included names like the mayor of Antioch, plus others who she serves regularly. My son Cregg and his close friend Steve go almost every week to be served breakfast by Grace. It starts their day on a high note.

I rarely go in for food to see Grace. I’d eat too much because I would want to eat a rather large breakfast, taking too much time every day. If I did that, Doctor Scott would go ballistic. But I do go and make a personal delivery of the Friend’s Collection stuff about learning to age well. I do that for three reasons. First, she’s an incredible upper with smiling energy. Second, Grace likes my pile of words and paintings. Why do I know that? She gives me a hug on every occasion. The third reason is that we are becoming treasured friends and my family is friends with Grace.

Grace of Cuernavaca is very special. We don’t understand each others speech since she speaks only Spanish and I speak poor Gringo. Her given name is Rosa Leticia. So why did I give her the name of Grace? It started when friend Marco took my son, granddaughter, and I to Cuernavaca for a first-class visit to a free B&B called Moyano Manor. Pedro Moyano is Marco’s brother and has incredible hosting style augmented by Rosa Leticia.

My problem began when another Leticia was introduced through the family’s collection of friends. This Leticia was very gracious in connecting us with the Monsignor of the Ceurnavaca Cathedral. The meeting (hour) was a time to learn about the plight of our neighbor’s children. It included a visit to the barrio where the poorest of the poor live. First stop was a home for vagrant high school age boys. Bleak. Next stop was to a home for abandoned children. In fact, that very day, a mother dropped her little girl at the doorstep of this home for care. It was a home for boys.

We spent the day with both ladies named Leticia, so to reduce my confusion, I named Rosa Leticia Grace. The day was filled with grace and graciousness. The children showed love that I have never seen before. Love to each other and love to us. Leticia and Grace gave tenderness to the children that demonstrated their continuing love for these abandoned children. I’ll never forget this adventure. It was a time of tenderizing the heart enough to get head and hands into action.

Doctor Webster says that grace is effortless charm, a disposition to be helpful, divine love and protection bestowed on human beings, favors given voluntarily, to impart beauty, elegance and charm, an excellence or power granted by God. These words describe the ladies who care enough to give their very best.

Whether in Cuernavaca or Antioch, Grace, Grace and Gracious are reminders of divine grace. Divine Grace created these masterpieces for their encouraging beauty.

Gracias y mucho amor.

HAPPINESS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM

When visiting a holocaust museum in downtown Chicago with Father Terence, we were vividly reminded of evil with grim black and white photos. A special room with a tombstone in the center and stones at the base placed with a quote to encourage remembering the dead. Every museum had a gift shop which we visited. I picked up a package with the title, HAPPINESS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM. What was communicated (paraphrased) was that the striving for and the collection of stuff did not bring happiness. It is gratitude that is at the heart of happiness. I have spent most of life collecting stuff, experiences, friends and adventures and I’m now in countdown when blessings of happiness are because of faith, family, friends, fun, and a new found focus.

Most people deeply desire to live with a sense of purpose, but many are unclear about what that is or how to make it happen. This is a good era for me to take a fresh look at what is my inner sense of purpose and meaning might be in the countdown days of my life. I am trying to find and follow through on my own unique path in life. I’m trying to understand the “Why’s” of life. What is special? What are the daily opportunities to live a life of meaning and to find a sense of being on the right path? Where is my gratitude? Where is happiness?

Later, Father Terence came to a care center for the elderly with me and showed his special art abstracts illustrating what he was doing in his final days. The elderly love presentations to break boredom and they applauded his work. The elderly are also “skin starved,” rarely do hugs, kisses and touching that can put grace into their living. The Father knew that, so he went around to each and gave them a blessing. I was the last so I received a touch on the forehead, a blessing prayer and 3 pats on my head. I asked, “Why the special blessing?” He said that I had such a hard head he needed to pound the blessing in.

The words bless, blessed, blessing and blest are usually considered spiritual words. One of Webster’s definition is “Something or someone promoting happiness.” In scripture, Jesus said that the poor are blessed so they have happiness. How can that be? They have nothing.

Later on a trip to Mexico, I experienced love and happiness in a barrio outside the city of Guadaloupe. This was a day experience never to be forgotten. We took a picture of a boy who lives in abject poverty. He represents one of about 15,000,000 children in Mexico (with a population over 100 million), who live in abject poverty on dirt floors, no running water, electricity, sanitation, refrigeration or transportation and some not receiving any education.

In the WORLD section in the Chicago Tribune, July 5, 2003, it was reported that over 50% of Mexicans live below poverty. Sadly, 20% live in abject poverty with incomes that equate to about $1.65 a day (or less) for rural laborers and about $2.25 for urban workers.

Our visiting the barrio, can only be described as “Beyond poverty” with the community living on a dirt road and the dump that burns continually at the entrance. This is there we met many of the poorest of the poor, only to discover that there we saw love and we saw happiness amongst the people in the barrio community. We discovered that they did not know that they were poor in abject poverty. They were happy with each other in the game of “creative survival.” The scenes will melt
every heart as they teach about “loving your neighbor.”

Everyone should have a personal Mister Claus

Mr. Engvelson left Norway for a new life in America. At Ellis Island, like many emigrants,
Mr. Engvelson changed his name to an American name, that of Evans. I never met Mr. Engvelson, but I know and love his son Harry and he’s my personal Mr. Claus.

Every Christmas, Santa Claus is the big hero of children in much of the world. The adults
pay the cost of the sacks and sacks of stuff that Santa Claus distributes at Christmas time.
The Christmas season “buy this” market has now moved in concert with Halloween. Wow.

My personal Mister Claus, Harry Evans, a man who with a Christmas outfit looks like the authentic Santa Claus, is the most giving friend I know.

Webster’s definition of a friend is, “a person who you trust and one with whom one is allied with in a struggle or cause.” I add to that, “ friend is one who really knows you and loves you anyway. That’s my friend Harry, for 45 years and counting.

Harry is a gifted man and gives of his gifts graciously and continuously. He gives and gives
and keeps giving, with or without thanks. Even in the tough times Harry still gives.

Harry’s gifts;
• Caring
• Listening
• Memory
• Humor
• Laughing
• Kindness
• Spiritual hand holds
• Understanding
• Patience
• Contentment
• Courage
• Encourager
• Understanding

Harry is a living treasure. He’s always (for 45 years) stayed connected with me. We’ve shared struggles and tears, friends and foes, mountains and valleys, hopes and dreams, and he’s always available no matter where or when. Harry’s always caring and giving. What a treasured friend I have in Harry.

If you have a treasured friend, you have one of the most valuable gifts in life. Get one.

THE BOY OF ALMAGEUR, MONTERREY

This boy has given to me flip flops. Let me explain.

Lara was driving us out of the barrio when suddenly Heh Seuss appeared standing in the middle of the dirt road. Lara stopped the car and I jumped out with excitement because there standing before my eyes was the greatest picture I could take that would exemplify the plight of the barrio children. Obviously his eyes asked the questions, “Who are you?” “What are you doing?” “Why me?”

Soon the photo and the challenge became to paint Heh Seuss in oils. Laini my teacher really helped. She is so good on faces, eyes and the important parts. I just had the idea and did the background and dirt. It became my favorite picture and I’ve hung copies around our community so as to plant seeds of awareness of the plight of our neighbor’s children.

Here are some facts about living in our neighbor Mexico.

• There are about 100 million Mexicans and 75% are children under the age if fifteen years of age. Twenty five million people live in Mexico City where the air is so thick you can chew it.
• 50% live below the poverty level. That’s 50 million souls struggling to survive.
• 20% or 20 million people live in abject poverty as described in the Chicago Tribune. Abject poverty means dirt floors, without electricity, running water, sanitation, refrigeration, transportation and in some cases the children are deprived of education and/or worship.
• Wages in many areas is around $2.00 per day and unemployment is as high as 70%.
• While visiting Cuernavaca and having the privilege of an hour with the Monsignor asking questions, he said that in his city of 400,000, there were 1,000 homeless children and every day about another 1,000 children come out of the barrios to scrounge, sell, steal, anything to survive. A friend who lives in Monterrey and knows Latin America very well stated that there could possibly be one million homeless children in Mexico City alone.
• One report about Mexico stated, an average of 500 children die every day, 180,000 per year.
• Thirteen billion dollars is sent to Mexican families from Mexicans working in America, legally or illegally. It’s the country’s 2nd highest import of dollars, exceeded only by oil sales. Theirs one man in our city of Antioch who has been working in a restaurant for six years to send money to his family a wife and three children, so that they can survive. He hasn’t been able to go home and see his family. There are many similar stories in all America.

Hearts are turning from stones to a hearts of flesh. The head is gathering ideas that could help this plight. It could be that a collection of friends that connect could make a difference. The good news is no organization, meetings, pressure, Just awareness and opportunities for blessings including adventures that money can’t buy.

Heh Suess is the pronunciation for Jesus in Spanish. Jesus loves the children, all the children of the world. He especially loves the hurting and the poor and He’s given His blessing to the poor to give. When we give to our neighbor’s children who are hurting and poor, we get blessed.

Hello friends,

You’re getting this greeting as another endeavor to give to you some seed thoughts to help you in the process of aging well. I’m enjoying the memories you gave to my memory bank and as I do these “doings” my life receives fresh energy that I want to pass on to you.

In these tender days, my selection to read has shifted. In the 2nd quarter (ages 25-50) the focus was on the how to do it (whatever it was) books. The 3rd quarter I really enjoyed travel books and to read about other people’s experiences. At the start of the last quarter, my interest turned to books like, Learning to Grow Old, Return of the Prodigal, Our Greatest Gift, The Message and books friends wrote.

Today the reading’s are, Aging Well by George Vaillant, M.D. and Finishing Well by Bob Buford. The experience reading these together is like traveling on parallel tracks going in the same direction with the 3rd rail the energy.

Aging well, is a report of a study by Harvard Medical school that spent more than fifty years studying the basic elements of adult development, looking at life choices, health, and happiness in hundreds of individuals. Now the results of this unprecedented study have been made public, and they reveal an extraordinary set of conclusions about how men and women can lead a happier, more fulfilling, healthier life---into their sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond. Here are some quotes, “We are each made up of all the people we have come in contact with the gift of allowing the healing hope, strength, and experience of others inside.” The book quotes Anne Morrow Lindergh’s dictum: The seeds of love must eternally re-sown.” That’s the key for me.

Buford’s Finishing Well book is a collection of stories about people who decided to finish well in different ways. A quotable for me is, “We all have a lifespan of about 30,000 days, and we spend about a third of that time sleeping. If you had twenty days left, what would you do with them? They universally answer that they would spend that time working on their relationships, with family and friends and if they’re people of faith, with God. The core of the book is moving from success to significance. Significance has caring written all over it and significance happens when we enable those around us to discover their own significance.

These books are worthy and very helpful in the art of finishing well.

Walking the walk with Ed story is about a person who will finish well based on his track record. The Clarence story is about a man who finished well and the legacy or fruit of his life is Habitat for Humanity that has built and given 170,000 homes to the poor. This month, a thousand Habitat workers will be in Puebla, Mexico building more homes for the poor.

HOW THE TREE STARTED

1943 was a great year for me, in the center of WW II, starting in February. I remember very little about high school, but this I remember;

• Mrs. Roberts was the Social Science teacher and Joan Pflum sat with Lois Bradeen about 8 feet away.
• At the end of a SS class, Joan Pflum asked me to a sorority party at her house about 2 weeks from this startling invitation. Party time in March
• With very little real knowledge about Joan, I thought best that I have a date prior to the party so I would act appropriately (cool). Joan went with me to the Ritz theatre on Wilshire Boulevard and soon I knew that I was going to have a pleasant time at the party. We held hands and she had a special, creative way to press the flesh (hand hold).
• The party was better than I expected, Joan was more graceful in the setting of her home and I thought that we could end our senior year in a blaze of fun before I entered the Army Air Corp as a cadet.
• Every week we went to a movie, every week we partied, either at a Tri Delt sorority or Hi Y men’s fraternity creation for social stimulation even though they were held under the clouds of war. A grand night was to go dancing at the Hollywood Paladium or Arragon ballroom listening and dancing to Glen Miller, Tommy Dorsey, and other great bands of that era.
• I remember those times because I was doing everything against what I was brought up on. Going to movies, dancing, smoking, drinking beer, playing cards, having lots of fun with girls. It was, “you will go to hell” time. Obviously my parents and church friends didn’t know that I was such a hell bent young man nor did they know that I was falling in love with a Catholic girl who attended parochial school up to high school.
• I vividly remember our first dancing dates. Joan loved and knew how to dance beautifully. I was a stiff Swede that would sweat because I didn’t know how to dance and I was taking a great chance because I could go to hell. Physical and emotional tension had to be suppressed because I wanted to be loved----and I wanted to ride home in Bib Smith’s 1937 Ford coupe with a rumble seat for our cuddling enjoyment. Those were great nights that I remember. It was better than TV.
• Summer was marvelous with almost every night with Joan. She was always ready to go to movies (of which I enjoy to this day) and the beach parties were exciting.
• October, 1943, I left Joan and family to attend boot camp at Buckley Field, Denver. What a terrible transition. Grueling action, long lonely nights balanced with love letters.
• Joan was attending UCLA and was being pursued by the dodge jocks (ROTC)
• Then a pause in our love life for about a year. Cooling off. Joan was Catholic and the relationship could not continue. This was the end of a beautiful partnership.
• The Army Air Corp cadet training included college (Eastern Oregon College of Education), pre-flight (Santa Ana, California). Bombardier school (Deming, New Mexico), B 17 crew development time (Rapid City, South Dakota) then many experiences but no war or blood time.
• After becoming an officer, I re-connected with Joan. Went to her house only to see this beautiful young maiden (Catholic) dressed in black slacks and black sweater (to this day my favorite “Joan color”) and soon after the action gets serious.

I KNOW WHAT I LIKE

These words laid in my head for a week after Tim used the phrase in a presentation about music in the churches in this era. After some thought time, I came up with another use of this phrase. “I know what I like and don’t like and I like and don’t like what I know.” Here goes nothing.

I like liver and onions, most people don’t. I like lots of garlic. I like authentic bow ties because I’m the only one in our 11 male family members that can tie a bow tie. I like to travel anywhere, but especially Europe. I like lutefisk but I don’t love it. I like to paint giclees. I like to write stories even if no one reads them. I like to see beautiful ladies, especially if they’re beautiful from the inside out. I like my friends Dan, Harry and Richard, in fact I love them dearly. I like organ music in church. Returning to the table, I like raw beef steak, especially the way my little lady fixes it. I like pickled lamb’s tongue, cows tongue, oysters any way any time, poached eggs, peaches, artichokes. Tomatoes are my favorite food. I liked Cary Grant and Gregory Peck but they’re gone now. Audrey Hepburn (dead now) and Julie Andrews were very good. Dr Earl Palmer and Richard Halverson are my favorite preachers, both Presbyterians. I like Joe Stowell. I like the color blue. I like my 10 doctors. I like life and love. I love my collection of friends. I like the Mexico Friends Forum. I like friends. I love my family.

I usually don’t like little children under the age of 5. I don’t like to change diapers and never have. I don’t like to jog because I’ve never seen a happy jogger. I don’t like weddings since Joan and my wedding time was a disaster and that’s another story. I’m not a lover of dogs or mosquitoes. I don’t like parsnips or rudabagers (the computer indicates wrong spelling. I couldn’t find the word in Webster’s so I conclude he didn’t like them either). I don’t like loud drums in church or long sermons that are poor presentations of God’s amazing grace. I don’t like what Bill Clinton did and I’m concerned about Hillary’s motives. I don’t like sea sickness or real rough air when flying. My least favorite color is black, which is not a color, but we think it is. I hate cancer. I don’t like feeling crappy. I don’t like having the inside bed when in the hospital. I don’t like pious people who never do any thing worth while. I don’t like whiners and gripper’s. I don’t like when any of my family member is hurting, especially the little ones.

My list of likes, are about the same as my dislikes. The list of likes and loves should be 10 times longer than the dislike to hate list especially when it’s about people. What to do in my remaining years in this place, called New Aland, with God and with my clan.

Some years ago, I was being encouraged to become a member of our church. I usually responded with, “I don’t want to become a member because I don’t like everyone and everyone doesn’t like me. ” Pastor Don, his father and my son Cregg all gave me similar answers like “you don’t have to like everyone to become a member of this church. ”My retort was usually, “how can I love them if I don’t like them?” The answers were not crisp and clear. I soon discovered that not liking some people was my problem.

I pondered my problem. There was no formula. Then one day a friend gave me a verse to read, Job 42:10, “and Job prayed for his friends,” and things really became better in his remaining years. Even though I don’t understand how Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar could be considered friends, Job’s praying for those who had different perspectives, likes and dislikes caused his life to end well. Now, between 1 AM and 3 AM, I pray for the others so that I may have peace.

INFART, UTFART, MIDDLEFART, FARTS, FARTLESS

Many people distaste this 4 lettered word, usually not spoken in cultured groups. Young boys enjoy the action of a good, loud fart. I’ve learned to relax with this word because of gifts from friends and a grandson.

A friend recently toured our homeland Sweden. He was touring before us and so I could tap into his knowledge, especially where to buy fine glass goods at a good prices. All part of tour plans. Marv buys everything at the lowest prices. After his trip to Sweden, he comes over to our home (while we’re away) and installs two signs by our driveway. When we drove in we saw the sign INFART and when we drove out another sign UTFART. This was “Who done it.” We soon learned from our daughter-in-law (neighbor) that she saw Marv with hammer in hand walking on the driveway towards his car. There was no hello. Later we thanked Marv for the signs but he acted like he didn’t know what we were talking about. If you knew Marv, you’d understand.

On our trip to the old countries, one Sunday, we took a round trip train ride from Copenhagen to Arhus, a town close to where my mother came from. Mid way is a small town called MIDDLEFART. The American tourist’s took notice in various ways.

Our grandson, Ben, gives incredible FARTS and he can fart on call. His parents do not admire his talent but his cousins, an uncle and grandfather do. One day his uncle said “Fart Ben.” Ben farted. “Fart again.” Ben farted. He gave eight straight farts, a family record. I know because I was there. What a unique talent.

Another friend, I think it was Deke, gave me a bag of special “FARTLESS” beans to make soup with. It didn’t work.

When I ask my grandchildren about the subject of farting, they mimic the sound’s their fathers make, from almost silent to rumbles. Then they laugh. When asked about the breaking of wind by their mothers or grandmothers, they laugh and say, “We’ve never heard that!” So I guess it’s the fathers who pass this part of life to sons, one at a time, generation to generation.

We went to Sweden and followed Marv’s advice about shopping at a special glass shop, Stromsbergstudio. Nice stuff, good price. I saw the sign on the shop’s door, SLUT FOR DEGAN. Perfect! I made a gift sign for Marv with Swedish colors that say’s OPPEN on one side and SLUT, which means closed, on the other side.

Words in Swedish, INFART, UTFART, MIDDLEFART, SLUT are foul in our culture but do get attention. Something’s in life are funny, fun and yet foul.

In Denmark, if you want a train schedule, you say, “ Train fart.”

I wonder, did Adam fart? A friend answered, “Yes after he ate the apple.”

IT’S ABOUT TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our lives are filled with twists and turns and life directing decisions during our earthly trip. We collect experiences, things and thoughts. We invest time and energy seeking fulfillment and enrichment. We live to avoid pain, pressing for pleasure.

The beginning of my trip (life) was steeped in work and church. My immigrant parents believed in “working out your salvation” blended with God’s love and His word. This was the way they lived. They were good models, in their examples of their life of church and work.

After 84 years of work and church, I’m investing some time in “looking in the rear view mirror” as I get ready for the “BIG TRIP”. I’ve much to be thankful for (and sorry for). My biggest sadness is the realization of how little time I’ve given to prayer.

Why?

The earliest praying that I remember was the family dinner prayer. A Swedish prayer, said in unison, which didn’t mean a whole lot since I didn’t understand Swedish. Then there were the prayers I heard in church. It seemed as though they (the “pray-ers’) would hit a spiritual switch and they talked in “emotional God talk”. There were sounds and words, different from the way we talk to one another in normal conversation. These strange intonations, made me feel that God was a long ways away and also that praying to God required a certain style and choice of words. It seemed to me that only those who acquired “the style” felt led and became the “pray-ers” in public meetings. My father was a God fearing man, who I know that he read the Bible and prayed daily, but he rarely prayed openly in public places and he didn’t use a switch.

My earliest prayers seemed only warranted when I was in trouble. Then in later years, as an active worker in the church, including teaching young adults, I was given the “opportunity” to pray publicly. At first I used the “God switch”, which meant to pray in the” God style.” The words and phrases really didn’t come from my heart. Our family prayers (when led by me) were pretty traditional and many times rather shallow and meaningless.

All through my adult life, I’ve desired to be a man of prayer because of my relation with God and what the preachers preached, the scriptures taught and the observation of a few men who when talking to God the words entered my heart.

Our Lord, in Matthew chapter 6 tells us that, “when we pray, go away by yourself, all alone, and shut the door and pray to your Father secretly, and your Father, who knows your secrets, will reward you.”

Then there’s David’s words in the Psalms, chapter 5, verses 1-3, “O Lord, hear my praying; listen to my plea, O God my King, for I will never pray to anyone but you. Each morning I will look to you in heaven and lay my requests before you, praying earnestly.” And our Lord’s brother, James in his writings, adds another “prayer picture” in chapter 5, verse 16 “admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results”. These word pictures are planted in my head. The constant challenge is to connect them to my heart, where my Lord dwells.

Life has given me broad experiences of doing different things, living in different places, traveling to all the US, all of Europe and much of Asia. Because of my natural curiosity I’ve attended many different worship services and a broad range of churches, from Catholic, Orthodox to Assemblies. When it came to public praying in the worship experiences, it appeared to me, that many of the “prayers” were culture styled, and to me (feelings), it seemed that “prayers” were more likely to create communication gaps to God rather than bridges of His love.

An interesting prayer experience for me was the time when I attended an Anglican Church. I read from their book of prayers while waiting for the worship service to begin. I was impressed with the content of the prayers. In fact, I purchased the Anglican prayer book. I thought that in order to have a prayer published in their prayer book, the prayer would have to go through many launderings so that it would be pure as to doctrine, easy to understand and have a mission as to the help the prayer would give. This affected my public prayer style. I spend more time prayerfully thinking and writing words that I think will glorify Jesus and still encourage, challenge and warm people’s hearts. The prayer objective is to bring honor and glory to our heavenly Father and at the same time plant seeds of God’s grace and love into the hearts of the listeners. Believing the good news of God’s grace, the grace that forgives and forgets our confessed sins is the core of my prayer for me and the total love that He has for us to tap into. It’s loving God, loving what His purpose for our lives and lovingly serving others so that they feel God’s love through our service to Him. They will know we are Christians by our love.

Several years ago I had a “wake up call.” Five days in intensive care with a heart problem. I prayed and prayed. I was scared. I needed to make changes in my life. I needed to make prayer, talking to Jesus, a priority in life, in order to continue the celebration of life. One of the great things about God is that he allows us or helps us to make stops, U-turns, lane changes, or whatever in life in order for us to draw closer to Him. He even helps us in making the necessary adjustments----and He never leaves us or forsakes us.

One of the residual benefits of a hospital experience is the visitor’s with their encouragement, their comments, flowers, books, etc. and much care and kindness. One caring friend gave to me a book written by Henri J. M. Nouwen. His messages really spoke to me at that point in my life.

Nouwen’s writings so influenced me that I desired to meet him. So, several years later, when I was on a trip to Quebec, I stopped in Toronto with the objective of spending a few minutes with Henri. I tried to time my trip so we could meet at the end of his sabbatical. When I arrived in Toronto, I found that Nouwen was still in Holland doing a filming about his book,The Return of the Prodigal. However, I was reassured, by his secretary that a future meeting would be possible, so I left with high hopes of meeting Henri soon. The secretary gave to me a copy, just off the press, titled,“ Can You Drink From The Cup”. I read the book that evening, and again the next day. I was excited that I came that close to meeting Henri and the prospects for a future meeting were exceptional. That was an “upper” for my trip. The day I arrived home, I read in the Chicago Tribune that Nouwen had died of a heart attack in Holland just three days after our visit to his office at L’Arche Community at Daybreak, Toronto, a home for two hundred mentally and physically challenged people. Oh how I miss not having the intended meeting with Henri. I had so many questions to ask. His 30 books will bridge the gap. If you read Henri’s writings, you may understand how I feel.

Henri wrote the book, A Cry for Mercy, that’s my cry, HESSED, HESSED, MERCY. His book was written in a monastery, an extreme place to be alone----to learn how best to connect with our, Savior, Jesus. He wrote early on, “thank you, O Lord, for these good things, I read about “knowing you” about the ways one comes to knowledge of you, and I pray that what I understand with my mind will descend one day into my heart and give to me inner light.” I feel these words. Hessed, shalom, zoe, and sophia as lifters..

Sometimes when I pray, especially when I don’t feel like it, seems so heartless. There is so much in me that needs to die; worthless attachments, greed and anger, impatience and stinginess. I am self centered, concerned about myself, the days ahead, work that I feel needs to be done.

I see more clearly the nonsense of a self-centered life. I need forgiveness, a life connected to God in prayer so I can taste God’s everlasting love.

• I need the courage to let go of my sinfulness and self-centeredness that limits love for the unloved.

• I need a constant openness of my heart. He’s always available, waiting for me to talk to Him.

• I must listen more dearly for His instructions and ideas.

• I need to walk the walk, not walk and talk, talk then walk or talk the talk.

• My Lord is waiting patiently for me to embrace Him.

JOICE BY CHOICE

There’s no choice in who sends e-mails. Friend Alan keeps setting up blockers on the computer for stuff that is unwanted. Recently there have been a lot’s of hotel deals, sex pills, computer accessories, and strange messages. The one source of e-mail’s I don’t want blocked is messages from friends. They are the day’s delight. They include humor, encouragement, information and interesting stories.

I’ve had a pain in my left cheek (butt) that’s still a mystery which developed after stomach surgery. So far, three of my doctors are pondering the mystery. The worst scene scenario is not good.

During a period of eighteen days I received 30 emails and five letters from my friend Thom. It’s a mixture of humor, encouragement, etc. It has moved my spirit that a friend would take the time to continue connecting with stuff that told that he was thinking of me and my predicament. Thom is a person who has many friends who are encouraging him by creative messages of humor mixed with God words that he passes on to me. So we’re in the same boat. We are couple of guys who enjoy friends and appreciate the thoughtfulness of friends. I think of Thom wondering why we’re connected.

Gathering friends has become my passion. Therapists and mental doctors could have opinions about this game of collecting and connecting with friends, but I don’t want opinions, I want friends. Some of the friends are people I’ve never met because they’re writers that move my spirit. Henri Nouwen is a favorite friend. Rachel Naomi Remen, who wrote My Grandfater’s Blessings is an unmet friend. Her book, a collection of stories of strength, refuge and belonging (friends). Her use of the Hebrew word L’Chaim, “To life” has been a stimulator to keep on keeping on. Now I’m learning about John Ortberg through his writings in Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them. The essence (so far) is that we are all weird and we know in our hearts this is not the way we’re supposed to be, we hide our weirdness.

Ann Lamott is an outrageous writer who has flipped my mind. Tender Mercies is the first that I’ve been reading to Joan and it’s been a trip. Ann has had an outrageous life starting in Marin, still in Marin, a journey that has been outrageous. A blend of alcoholism, drugs, men and sex, abortions, failures, pain, loss of friends, a son out of wedlock. Then she started her search for God, Jesus, church, friends. She’s had a streak of successful best seller books and a collection of friends, many who have not met Ann but love her. When she writes, the books are read and when she speaks people listen. She’s weird (different), but has affirmed that we are all weird and need to come out of our loneliness into relationships of friends and a faith that fulfills the heart. She has a clever use of words like joice instead of rejoice. She’s joicing and zesty.

Recently a survey states that 90% of our male population does not have a true friend. A true friend is a person who you can be totally transparent with and they’ll love you anyway. Without true friends or treasured friends, life can be lonely and there is no pain like the pain of loneliness. Mother Teresa said, “Loneliness is the leprosy of modern society. And no one wants anybody to know that they are lonely.” Our human moments occur in interaction with friends. The main delight with friends is when we’re discovering what really matters. The more friends, the more we learn about what really matters.

Since we’re all weird, there is no ideal friendship. It’s the richness and our weakness that’s vulnerable as we become transparent with people. That’s the process of connecting with friends. Such a friend Thom has become. I need friends to avert loneliness which is a pain like my butt pain. Ann’s word joice (like rejoice) helps. The more we choose to “joice” with people, the more life matters and our hearts get filled.

FOUR HOUR KIDS KING

A principal of a grade school asked me if she furnished a Santa Suit, would I play the role of Santa from 8-12 AM. “Sure, I’ll enjoy the opportunity to be a super nice person, for 4 hours” I responded.

I have had CHF that gives me crazy sleep. I will average 5-6 hours of sleep between 10 PM and to 10 AM. Frustrating, but it gives me 4-6 hours to listen, think, ask mental questions, plan, create fresh ideas. The night before Santa’s time, I finally fell asleep at 4 AM resulting in 3 hours of sleep. Weary, worried about the ability to do something good, my mind hollered “don’t do it.” Thoughts of getting a substitute an hour before the deadline was short lived. I had to go, needed to go, expected to go, wanted to go, got dressed to go. Time to go, all dressed in a fine Santa suite I shuffled off to the throne.

The early birds were happy to see a good Santa and my spirit started to soar inside a shot, 76 year old bundle of bones. I was escorted to the well decorated throne started to watch the action that started with a pancake breakfast. The “talk to Santa” line started to form. Photographer was ready for action. 8 AM,

I was ready with the question, “what do you want Santa to bring to you on Christmas?” A long line had formed, children, parents, grandmas, friends ready for Santa. First customer was a girl
about 6. She was excited. Warm. Ready. “Good morning beautiful.” “Good morning Santa” with energy. I said “speak loudly, speak clearly in this ear”, pointing to my right ear. So the list of gifts was recited. Since there is a huge generation gap about the knowledge of great toys of desire, all I could be was positive in my response even though I didn’t really know what she (and all the rest) asked for. I gave a candy cane and she bounced away. Next one was a repeat. Happy. Lively. Hopeful. Same chatter. Another candy cane.

The line was getting longer. Anxious. I felt guilty going to the bathroom. By 10 AM a thousand pancake breakfasts had been served. WOW. Get back on the throne and move them through faster. I didn’t want to do that because each child was so lovely and lovable, they wanted time with Santa, their lists were long and parents wanted to take their own pictures from all different angles, etc. I wanted to know their names and treat them as unique creations so full of life and talents to develop. I had to move quickly yet creatively.

The line was growing and time was marching on. Change of procedure. Limit the questions. Shorten their want list. OK. The ages ranged from 1-11 years of age. There were singles, doubles, twins, groups, family members, grandmas, etc. Some little ones were “blasters, screamers”. There’s something within the parent’s that causes them to force the child to perform for the camera. The pictures probably are sent to grandmas. We have some of those
in our collection. We show them to our grandchildren. I call it DNA inspection.I began to realize after about 100 children that their requests were quite narrow.Just toys. Occasionally a big gift, like a personal TV or Harry Potter video, or computer would surface. There were mostly long lists, some written, (one with over 10 selections). Reduce the time!!! Give them only their 2 top toys that Santa could deliver.

“Santa now knows what you want, but do you know what Santa wants for Christmas?” Almost every child had a startled look in response, as they said no. I said that this Santa wanted snow for Christmas. I would hold my hand about 30” off the floor. Every child smiled. “I’ll get your presents, you help me get my snow.” Everyone wants a white Christmas, especially children and Santa’s. As they romped away I would say “merry Christmas and tell your parents to help get snow for Santa!” And everyone was happy. The line moved faster and the last child came to me a few minutes past the deadline of 12 noon.

Later I was asked if I enjoyed the experience, would you do it again, are you tired? I responded with an enthusiastic “yes!” What did I learn? I learned that all children are lovable, unique, adaptable and blessed with a freshness for living energetically. Also as humans, they want to get, get, get. For me it was a giving experience where I received more than I gave, by far. It was an un---forgetable experience that surprised and energized these old bones this Christmas season.

On reflection, being a man of faith that has much time in the night, I wondered how many of the families knew in their heads and hearts the real message of Christmas. For me it was the time for me to change more from asking to get, to more giving. The big question developed, “do I really know what God wants from me as a gift this season and all seasons?”

These, days everything is fragile. Our world, country, families, jobs, finances health, churches, relationships are fragile. Our Creator is the hope for a solid life of living well in weakness and fragility.

Have a very blessed Christmas this year and the years to come.

OLFAR

LEGOSSS

Legos is a world class children’s toy that has stood the test of time. It originated in Denmark by Danes and it’s one of the things that my Danish blood understands. There’s another thought about Legos. LEGO’SSS means large ego slave syndrome and sickness. I get it every once in a while and the cure is not easy or necessarily instant.

It’s an early childhood problem that comes naturally like, ”I want that! Now!” LEGO’SSS is cured or put into remission by getting whatever. It started with me early on with the need for toys. Having stuff shows power. More stuff, more power. Then little toys start to lose the meaning and the ego of a jock emerges. The jockey life really grows the ego, if you’re good. Next in line in ego buildup is girls. No girl friends, no ego. No ego, no girl friends. Ego is the driver of living the good to great life.

Doctor Webster has given eight definitions about ego. Nine are negative.
• EGO: The self as distinct from the world and other selves. Self love: Self confident: Esteem.
• EGOCENTRIC: Self-centered: selfish. Seen or perceived in ones own mind as a center.
• EGOISM: The ethical doctrine that mortality is based on self-interest. The ethical belief that self-interest is the proper motive for all human conduct.
• EGOIST: One devoted to one’s own interest and advancement.
• EGOMANIA: Obsession with the self.
• EGOTISM: The tendency to refer to oneself in a boastful and excessive way.
• EGOTIST: A conceited, self-absorbed person and one who acts selfishly.
• EGO TRIP: To behave in an egotistic or self-seeking way.
• EGREGARIOUS: Outstandingly bad.
• EGO IDEAL: The entirety of an individual’s positive identifications with loving, reassuring parents or parent substitutes as a differentiated component of a mature ego.

I have experienced all the egos and I’m ready to reduce the trips. I’m a paranoid, insecure old man who’s trying to readjust my compass and ego is a hurdle that hinders. When I look at the inner self, the way our creator sees it, I shudder with shame because of the flaws, failures, fragility, and foolishness of life. Who do I blame? My family? My friends? My lack of faith?

A friend sent me a book that is of great help. I’ve received permission to use some of his helps:
• Shame has an insatiable appetite for self-abuse.
• Shame-based people find it difficult to forgive.
• Strong bonds (steps) are fragile because we are not pure in heart.
• Love goes beyond private (selfish) agendas and personal needs (desires).
• The memory of love is the source of our hope and healing. Love gives healing and hope with no strings attached.
• Openness to change is a characteristic of the self that is on the growing edge.

OK, now what? Daily I’m trying to reduce I, me, mine words out of my computer and relationships that I connect with. Changing the compass to point to my loving Parent who loves me unconditionally even with my pimples and warts! This will be the solution, one day at a time.

LIFE BEGININGS

My colleague, Webster defines septet as a group of 7 and cycle or an interval of time, a long period of time, sequence of events, to occur in and pass through a cycle, plus many more.

Try and take the ride on a unicycle today and you’d get the feelings of a very young child’s frustration of falling and failing. Imagine trying to get sweet sustenance from a plastic toy dangling over your head. Then we attempt to move forward in a crawl, fumbling then tumbling into another failure. The crawler eventually wants to be like the others in mobility and starts the walking process that is a much longer learning period. Many falls and frustrations until the walks are no problem. Real success is walking to the bathroom without an attendant. Then the trials of running follow.

The entry cycle of life is filled with the blend of pain and pleasure, restrictions and freedom, tears and cheers, pain and pleasure and so on. You know the feeling, you’ve been there, done that but don’t remember too much about the adventure. We do remember some of the good times that usually out number the bad or sad times.

Every person takes the ride on the unicycle. It’s a time when the pedals of independence are not reachable no matter how much the desire. The good news is that we are cared for and start the unicycle journey being kept balanced by the arms of our loving parents. When we felt the love by mother and father, the frustrations of life were reduced. This is the time of total dependency and total care. Every need is met, not every desire.

Around age 6 to 7, we start to think about becoming less dependent and having our own way each day. We start operating on our feelings. We are sure about what we want. We don’t necessarily like what is given, like certain vegetables or chores or lights out. We start getting real spankings for disobeying and there are times of anger about family and friends.

Then our education by “real” teacher’s, starts followed by being independent and sometimes unreadable by family and friends. We start developing independent thoughts, friends, experiences, likes and dislikes, habits, addictions and life style. But our feet of independence still haven’t reached the petal. We are not really in control. We can be very unbalanced and that’s OK, it’s the first cycle with 6 more to go.

What’s the point? You’ve heard, “what goes around comes around.” Life comes full cycle and many of the precepts are the same. Life can be an adventure with many learning experiences and being in the 6th cycle, ready for #7 at over 80, the following cycle is the best cycle.

LIGHT AIR

Travelling from Lisbon to the Algare, on a road that reminded me of driving through and around Southern California orange groves in the 50’s will long be remembered. Beautiful orange trees loaded with fruit, skies clear as can be, rolling terrain, and small colorful ranch homes. The difference was windows. Their windows had no glass or even window frames. We watched the white curtains dance in and out of the opening of the homes. According to Webster’s definition of a window, they didn’t have windows only openings for the air and light to enter. The area had ideal weather for just openings. It was a pleasant ride for our memory collection.

Windows, like doors, have been radically changed in the last century. The American door’s and windows culture has been sterilized to conform to cost and efficient mass production. As we enjoy the “window personalities” in other cultures of the past, like barns they reflected the first owner’s dreams of letting light and air dance into life as well as the joy of watching the world around. Artisans in every country were the creators of solid art that has stood the test of time and added a distinct personality to the homes and places of employment.

The joy of painting picture of the good oldies of doors and windows causes me to think or muse stories of each particular home with the uniqueness. I think the windows that have been painted so far were made in the 1800’s. Windows from England, Russia, Italy, Mexico, Scandinavia and Boston have given me enjoyment to think of what it must have been like living in the different homes in different places around the world. The window from Russia is the most unusual, the window from England (I think) is the classiest and the one from Boston is charming. I’m not an expert on window’s, I’m an expert in enjoying the painting of windows (to myself).

As I muse about the messages of windows and how essential they have been down through the ages. At times, my mind parallels the window personality with the personalities of human souls. Some windows you can look out but others you can’t look in. Some are open to the flow of creation (looking in, looking out). Some windows can be opened and closed, some can’t be opened and the air is machine made. Some windows (and souls) have artisan personalities others are void of eye appeal. Then there are some windows (and souls) have a welcoming style, others are barred. Some are strong, others flimsy. One has to be sensitive in coloring a window so as to blend with the architecture. Then there’s the fact of keeping the pane clean and inviting. Living, can be enhanced by “soul windows” that allow life, color and air blended into a concert orchestrated by our Creator.

Windows can be larger than life as we become aware of their importance in quality living. The soul is the window of putting life into living. The view of being cheerful to others, of adding color to life every day, being cautious guarding the soul, caring for someone each day and having courage to keep on keeping on. Cheerful, color, cautiousness, caring and courage can be the compass for fruitful living.

View life with windows from your heart, life will become more lively and interesting.

REDUCED FROM EXISTENCE

Lighthouses are on the way out. With advancing technology, they are no longer efficient “voices in the dark” with their blasts or warnings from rotating light. If they could write the stories about what they saw, the wrecks, the ships saved, the lives changed, the fear etched on the faces because of oncoming disaster, these words would impact our lives with the thoughts of “saved or lost.”

There are many guiding lights that impact lives. In the beginning are parents, then teachers, books, radio, TV, music, experiences, on and on. Maybe our peers and life’s pressures influence us the most to pile up on the “rocks” of adversity. “ROCKS” are the frightful things you experience when you take your eyes off the lights.

There’s also the option of being a light, directing family, friends, connections away from the “ROCKS” that can wreck lives, hurt people and waste so much. Sometimes it takes remembering our “ROCKS” in order to give good direction to those who are watching. A good light is “let your life speak louder than your lips.”

I learned on deaths row (hospital visit of 22 days) from a roommate that I was going to die based on his body noises and the professional traffic. After 5 or 6 days of asking, “how ya doing?” The answers were a feeble, “I think I’m getting better.” When he got stronger, I asked, “What did you do in life?” The response, “I was a pastor for 29 years.” Last question was, “what did you learn?” “I finally learned to not make judgements or give advice, only to give experiences and share ideas.” I’ll always remember how his light finally shined before people. Another lesson learned on death row.

Some people are model lighthouses with their listening eyes, warm hearts and helpful hands. The world needs many more of these people giving of their experience’s, sharing ideas for adjusting the compass of life with arms of love

A lively faith, a loving family and friends who care, are the best things of life that gives you right direction. Above all, keep your eyes on the true light! Then opportunities to give life will be automatic. I remember Henri’s book on OUR GREATEST GIFT where caring eyes will always give the right light in the right way at the right time to the right person.

The next time you see lighthouses, you’ll find that each lighthouse is distinctive and individually unique.

Like lighthouses, we all are individually unique and can shine where we live for those we love. The greatest light is love.

We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won’t need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don’t fire cannons to draw attention ---
lighthouses just shine.

LOST AND FOUND

Orville said when he turned 80, “The older I get, the less I know! But what I do know, I know more clearly.” We love Orv and think of him often and the good remembrances of fellowship, but I remember what he said because for us, it is profound.

At the age of 50, we got lost in Paris trying to find a pension we had reserved. Driving 2 hours in a 6 block radius was stressful, but we found our bed for the next few days. On the same tour, driving in Rome was torture trying to survive the game of “Driving with chickens.” I was the biggest chicken as we and 100’s of Italians went from 4 lanes to 3 and then to 2 and sometimes 1 lane going in the same direction, but to different places. But we were only 50 and a seasoned, so we finally found our resting place. I rested for 4 hours trying to regain my composure.

In our 70’s, we started driving less in Europe and resorted to trains and young family members doing the driving. It’s hard to get lost on the train. When the young chauffeur (family) had navigation difficulties, we tried the virtue of patience and lightness during the “lost time.” Some times it helped.

The biggest loss in life, outside of losing family and friends, was leaving my “Tummy bag” that contained our passports, return air tickets, traveler’s checks, cash, credit cards, driver’s license, hotel reservations, etc. on the train from Hamburg to Zurich. I noticed this loss as we were boarding a train to Lucerne and experienced total “Melt down” of all my brain and body cells. Everything was lost.

I went to the train station’s lost and found only to be told that the train had left the station to be cleaned, “So come back at 4 PM and maybe the cleaning crew will have turned the item in.”

It is seven AM. My spirit was broken, my body beat (because of age 75 and 4 previous annual visits to a hospital’s death row) and my brain disconnected from reality. I slowly drifted back to Joan with the killing/chilling picture. As I passed by where our train had docked, my spirit jumped. There the train sat. My adrenaline surged. Running to our sleeper car, jumping .in to see the cleaning people hard at work, I noticed that they were cleaning our travel compartment I asked if they had seen a small bag, and out the bag shot as well as a book that Joan had finished and left. My heart slows considerably, the smiles were outrageous and the return to Joan was brisk. We embraced and once again thanked God for His grace and goodness. The rest of our trip, eventually to Italy, was a time of continuing gratefulness and I avoided becoming lost or losing anything. A marvelous, forever remembered experience, even the car accident in Sienna when hit by an Italian who gave us the Italian auto accident dance, with gestures. God is good.

In 2003, we completed our last driving excursion from Chicago to DC, NY, NJ, and Boston then to Halifax and finally wandering home. Four thousand miles, 18 different beds, 16 cold (free continental) breakfasts, photographing lighthouses to paint and getting lost 12 times. The first and best was in Washington, DC trying to find our hotel on Courthouse Road. I had listened to the hotel’s automated direction information and thought I had it down pat, “No problem.” I thought I had gotten off of 495 at the right exit. Wrong.

The exit we took led to another freeway and each exit we took led me on another. We were still in the DC area, but totally lost. Now it was time to stop at a safe place on the freeway, and reread the DC map. I was about ready to put the hazard lights on, put up the hood and wait for a tow truck or police officer to come to our rescue.

An old car stopped in front of our car, a man approached and asked if we were OK. “We’re lost and we’re glad you found us.” He tried to give directions, but soon was aware that my computer is slow. With that, he said, “I’ll tell you what, you follow me and I’ll take you there, OK?” “Yes, OK!” He went slowly, enough so we could follow and some time later, we stopped. Then our unknown friend, stopped, came to us saying, “Your place is on the next street about 1 block.” I did the grateful thing and held out a gift of money for his time and extra gas. “No, I won’t take it, but I’ll tell you what you can do. Put it in the offering plate next Sunday,”

Then I did what a Christian would usually do by asking, “What church do you go to?” His response was beautiful, “I am Christian.” What an act of kindness and what a lesson, by his great response, for any act of charity just to affirm with the response, I’m a Christian. How sweet the sound. I need to continue to learn to do good because, “I am Christian.”

We got lost 11 more times on this trip. Some of the more troubling experiences were, on the way from DC to Philadelphia, finding the Grand Summit Hotel in Summit New Jersey, getting to our granddaughter in Boston, getting on the wrong return train from viewing Ground Zero, finding a gas station on the east coast of Nova Scotia where there were 10 churches to every restaurant and 2 restaurants for every gas station. That was miles and miles of testing. It was a “People sparse” place.

Our future travels will be few, but when we do travel again, we know what God is doing even when we don’t and will accept each lost and found with gratefulness because it is the right thing to do.

LUMBERING ALONG LIFE’S PATH

Years of collecting experiences that blends the regrets, recoveries, rewards eventually comes together that leaves tracks to reflect on. Living a life of no regrets is as impossible as living a life of all rewards. There are times for recovering. The heart always is seeking recovery. These words are about exploring the soul, the heart of every person. Life is like sailing, not like a piloting a powerboat for reaching hopes, dreams, reality, etc. Powerboats illustrate control of the destination (unless you run out of fuel, food, etc.). Sailing is an illustration of total dependency. There’s no control over the winds of fate, no power of the spirit or wishes, sometimes not even a harbor in view.

A life given to sailing is adventuresome. At birth we have incredible wants with insecurities driving in a direction that’s controlled. The demands of the “I” are never totally satisfied. “I” moves towards meeting the desires of the heart, the lust of the flesh and a path of desires that will never be achieved. My “I’ knows all to well the “I” life. The “I” is never fulfilled. I is always striving. Pressing towards a goal never achieved. A life of no needs, wants, total satisfaction, controlled, free without the “we” is hollow on the inside, shining on the outside. It takes time to realize the necessity of the “we” in life. Relationships of trust, love, cause, living to learn, laughter, joy in concert that helps make living worth while.

“I” is a very small word that holds stories of pain, problems, people, relationships, and purpose of the 6 billion people on planet earth, the billions who have died and the billions yet to come. History has provided many “I” stories in print and we know well our personal story. Only God has the big picture of all the “I” that includes the most minuet details.

With years of history that has collected people, pleasures, problems, pains and tons of trash, I’ve recently been thinking about the word legacy. What am I going to leave my family, trash? They have their own pile and continue to heap stuff into their lives, but that’s OK. One legacy that will continue on in this century at least is my DNA droppings. If the current trend continues of 3.2 children per family, there will be over 320 people that will have our DNA “droppings” at the end of the 21st century. All part of the genetic “crap shoot.”

The objective of these words is to give a picture of an “I” that will be a part of their lives forever. Hopefully they will direct their paths that avoid or reduce the pains and unsolved problems that I’ve had as well as learn about my pleasures as well as meet people who make up my family and collection of treasured friends, very good friends, friends and others.

One of my sons said, “Why don’t you put your life into words?” A very good friend later challenged me to write about people who have impacted my soul. Soul sailors, are people that have helped in setting the goal for the soul. Since I’ve had CHF (congestive heart failure) there are sleepless nights when my mind is collecting thoughts and theses challenges have got me started on this path of print.

LUMBER ALONG CONTINUED

Mother Teresa’s path to peace was simple and straight- forward. First listen, block all thoughts that are self- centered, listen, listen, listen. That is a difficult first step. Next pray, then meditate, followed by love, and works of charity. The result is a peaceful head, heart and hands wired together with a purpose for living. So Mother Teresa is one who impacted my soul.

Fifteen or so years ago I wrote the story of my life called JODARE. There was a break in my schedule that I needed to fill doing something (since I’m a workaholic). It’s a picture I wanted to express that as I read it today there is a lot of BS. Maybe it is a picture of who I wanted people to see. Time was invested, history of my life is in “Jodare” (and fairly accurate). Now I’m including the stuff in my legacy barrel. On page 51, there is a very true statement of desire. “In the past I have lived to learn. Now it is time to learn to live.” That was so true and it was a step in readjusting my compass and start “soul sailing.” The essence of life is to learn the love and purpose we were created for. I’m still learning one day at a time, the upward steps of learning to live. So the following is what has happened, what I hope happens and some of the truths that have been learned. Since being schooled in the BS life (Bull Drops), these words are going to be monitored by friends and family.

Today I read the 15 year old pile of words and technically there were a few errors. Emotionally it was not valuable other than to realize that life is a process to be lived. The desires of the heart then still persist but time has added twists and turns that need to be in print if the 70 pages written have closure. I was 63, still striving for surviving. Many more pages need to be added to this legacy.

It’s time to shift from “I” to “WE” so this is my attempt to combine my faith, family, treasured friends, friends and other stuff and try to unpack the baggage getting ready for the big trip.

The longer I live, the more my faith in my Lord grows. A combination of a need to understand more about Jesus, relinquishing my striving and accepting the eternal hope that scripture describes. It’s growing from being religious in image, to a reality of spiritual purpose for the rest of my days. As Mother Teresa puts it, more listening, time in prayer, much meditation, a life filled with love to everyone, doing the good that God directs and resting in the peace that’s beyond understanding.

With 4 major wake up calls (intensive care) in the last years, I’ve not only have come close to death but closer to my eternal resting place. At age 68, major heart surgery. At age 74, major stomach surgery. 75, more stomach surgery with a blood clot in my right lung. At age 76 a pacemaker insert followed by CHF attach (congestive heart failure) with a relapse a month later. The last trip was 22 days with a buttocks infection. Now I celebrate life with 11 doctors, 1 pill at a time, over 450 a month. I love my doctors, they are helping my to live.

Today is a day in the LUMBERING ALONG story. A time to write a story called UNCLE KARLE. Uncle Karle (my brother in law) died this week and I was present. I don’t grieve for him because he’s where I’m going. I will miss Karle because he was one of my teachers in learning how to age well. Karle had great style, constant smile, satisfied (never whined), served his country, church, VA volunteer for many years and now is secure in the arms of Jesus.

The pharmaceutical industry is growing. My father and mother would take aspirin occasionally. I was raised on the concept that when you were sick (with anything) the 3 “musts” were, take an enema, go to bed and drink lots of water. With our children, we took them to the family doctor who usually prescribed an over the counter medicine, water and bed. No enema. In one generation, from aspirin to multi high tech medication that extends life and reduces pain. Today, I’m wondering about the “pill” life costs to future generations. What would be nice would be one cure all pill for a buck a day. With 6 billion people it would amount to a
$2,190,000,000,000. annual income industry.

So now, I’m trying to live a life with my Lord that’s sweeter as the days go by. The old hymn expresses it well, “sweeter as the years go by, richer, fuller, deeper, Jesus’ love is sweeter, sweeter as the years go by.” We don’t sing the old goodies in church anymore but I hum them (mentally) during my sleepless hours because of CHF.

Recently, a mature friend said to quite trying. His simple formula was repent, relinquish, and relax on a day to day basis. He said, “that’s what scripture teaches.” Re-new your mind daily by listening to Jesus.

Joan, my lovely wife of 63 plus years started from different postures to take interest in each other. She was raised in Catholic schools until high school, was very attractive, dressed well, became recognizable in the hallways because of a large cast around her knee. An accident that she should share and how it impacted her life. Her image was one of wealth because of her taste in clothing, but especially because of the home her family lived in. I remember our first date, how when I drove up into an expensive neighborhood and into her driveway, my thoughts were WOW, she’s not only good looking but rich besides. A rich Catholic girlfriend was unthinkable in my family and church.

Here I was as a common (non-jock), 3 ½ stripe evangelical with an image of a religious heretic. In Joan’s family, a mixture of relaxed Catholics to every Sunday mass Catholics was being courted by a nice young man who dressed well (important). As a nice young man, I took their precious daughter to nice restaurants and good movies, had been accepted as a cadet in WWII Army Air Corp, couldn’t be all bad and it probably wouldn’t last long anyway.

Joan surprised me by asking me to go with her to a sorority party. I responded positive not knowing who she really was, where she lived and what a date would be like. After thinking out these questions, I asked her to go do my favorite thing, go to a movie. Joan accepted. That’s when I had the WOW experience. We did hold hands on the first date and at the party that was at her home, we danced and kissed. That was the second WOW.

On July 26, 1947, we married in our church, the Evangelical Free Church of Los Angeles. That day was the hottest day in history for weather and the coldest day for our families because of the religious differences and that Joan had renounced the Catholic way of living.

After 59+ years we have moved from being independent to dependency (Joan from home engineer and me a simple provider in a variety of efforts) to interdependency, my bouncing on the trampoline of life and Joan trying to keep equilibrium. Some years were great and pleasurable, others with pain, problems, anxiety and struggle. As I look back in the rear view mirror, we have been blessed and our choosing of each other as life and soul partners could not have been better. I’ve said that marriages are lousy but I must say that I have not observed any marriage better than ours for us.

LUMBERING ALONG CONTINUED

New Aland is a place where the women are good looking and the men are all average. Today our family is not perfect, but good. When asked how many children you have, I respond “22!!!” That brings questionable eyeballs and responses. So then I explain. This is the explanation. Add them up and there’s 22. That’s a lot, especially at Christmas time. Add to that a great grand daughter.

16 of our children (plus grandma and grandpa) live in New Aland, a 30 acre oasis. It’s a story for when I get to the home places of our life from West Los Angeles to Antioch, Illinois (via Colorado, Oregon, New Mexico, Nebraska, North Dakota, Arizona, Kansas, Texas, Deerfield). We lived 40 years in California, 44 years in Illinois and 4 years in 8 other states. I must say, we’ve had a variety of “homes” in 78 years ( basic birth 2, WWII 10, Korean War 5, others 16). We’ve had a total of 33 “roofs” for an average of 2.3 years per home stay. The good news is New Aland where we have lived for over 30 years and will probably be the final resting place. One of my “last day’s desires” is to write each of 22 “off- shoots” a personal letter. I’ve done several but I’ll redo them with my latest feelings for each one.

EVERY YEAR A FRESH BEGINNING

I’ve been learning that one of the side effects of CHF is discouragement (sleeplessness), depression (low energy) and some days feeling down right lousy (breathing problems). Today is one of the “D” days---a downer. It would probably be better if I took a “pass” today. But if I lay on the couch, think misery, let the negative thoughts take control, I would lose a full day and I know the feeling of a lost day at dinner time. So I press the keys, paint a picture, read good stuff (Undaunted Courage by Steven Ambrose, Eugene Peterson’s Message), stoke the fire, call some friends have an extra coffee or tea and move on the path of the living.

As I look back, I’ve seen times of ups and downers. As I look forward I’m hoping for more uppers (than downer days). My rhythm has to get lighter, lovelier, be more loving and looking in the right direction. It’s nice to say, these resolutions, but only a grace driven life can move up the ladder of learning about the love and eternal hope we have in Christ.

One night, I listened for fresh thoughts for my compass to adjust to and heard the word “people.” So now I embark on remembering people, especially treasured friends who have made the difference in helping me in my adventure of soul sailing. Not all are 4 stripe evangelicals and only God knows the ones that love, trust and obey Him. So now my thoughts and words are about treasured friends that are out side the family pail.

Reverend Morris Johnson

The first time I saw Reverend Johnson I knew that good things were going to happen. He was stately tall man who talked in a dignified way about Christ and his love. p until his coming from the Racine, Wisconsin Bible Church (a way different culture than the Swedish Evangelical Free Church of Los Angeles), I was a captive of what I call “the bible beaters” who’s messages were based on fear, gloom and doom. The old people, including my parents, based their Christianity and life style on these messages and it drove the young ones nuts and some out of the church and family into a quest of searching for love.

Reverend Johnson delivered his words from scripture with dignity, direction towards the love of Christ and how ones life could be one of joy with peace. This was illustrated by the lives of his wife and son Glen, who graduated from Princeton and became a Presbyterian minister. Since we lived only 4 houses away, we had first hand observation of the good Johnson’s.

His unique factor was that his Sunday dress was extremely formal which included stripped pants with a long tale coat. That was a shocker to the immigrants from Sweden. This did tidy up the clothing over a period of time. The listening factor went up the scale as Reverend Johnson shared the scriptures in a holy way, his life, patience and the love like a shepherd to his flock.

Reverend Johnson added a huge amount of class to our wedding. The wedding of a second generation German Catholic to a first generation Swedish Protestant with parents who were cold in spirit was a deluxe accomplishment. Shortly after, Reverend Johnson died in dignity.

February, 2002 was a downer. February is usually a downer. It was too cold, not enough money, etc. In 1993, Lyn and I put on the brothers gathering in Kenosha at the Assembly of God church. We chose February because it has been designated as suicide month for men. Unpaid Christmas bills, many taxes coming due, lousy weather (especially for construction workers), the home becomes a boring cage, church can seem dull, rich friends go south, poor friends gripe. On and on.The gathering drew 1700 men in celebration of “Life with Christ.” A collection of men from a variety of churches, ethnic, social, economic, worship- style cultures. It was a cold, dreary night on the outside, but a lively celebration of our togetherness on the inside. Author Jerry Jenkins, Ken Rutgers a well known Packer, a VP from Promise Keepers, the singing men of Oakbrook, worship singing led by an Afro-American group of 7, opening prayer led by a Green Berea and a trio of men leading us in togetherness prayers. A WOW night. The following year, 4,500 men gathered to hear Joe Stowell. The gatherings keep on every year on the first Saturday in February.

UNUSUAL TIMES

Pastor Eric Froman

Pastor Eric is probably in heaven by now. He was about 60-65 years young when he impacted my life spiritually over 40 years ago. Not only me, but also my family members and friends at the Evangelical Free Church in Orange, California were impacted. The first pastor of our new church was given a call to a church in New Jersey that was more established, larger, wealthier, prettier, etc. So after 3-4 years of ministering to us westerners, we were without a full time pastor. He was an easterner so this was upward mobility from every perspective. Like every church, some were glad and some were sad.

After a few months, the denomination’s district bishop sent to us this short, frumpy, old man as our interim pastor until a suitable man of God could be challenged to minister to our collection of “GOOFIES” and “WHACKOS.” The “GOOFIES” were people who came from a variety of spiritual backgrounds (certainly not EFC types). The “WHACKOS” were super-spirituals who came from other churches that did not please their biblical appetite. So here comes Eric to preach to the critics who thought they were some special group worshipping in the new church that was central in a fast growing community, thanks to Disneyland’s invasion. Eric was just a foot taller than the pulpit, wasn’t dressed like the rest of us (old suit, tie, shirt, shoes, glasses) but a life impacting preacher. Now Pastor Eric knew how to weave God’s word into our lives with a vivid, lively, loving spirit that got us off of ourselves, each other, our abilities, our wealth, wisdom, work, our addictions, quirks, etc. to a focus on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It was a refreshing time for all of us.

He was such a pastor that every one wanted for the life of the church. He let the laymen keep their hands on the management, goals, future. The SS teachers were encouraged through his preaching/teaching to stay the course and enjoy. The young people were pleased to see an authentic Christian who accepted them, enjoyed them, showed a whole hearted interest in their lives and had energy and love for them. But Pastor Eric resisted becoming the full time leader. His calling as an experienced, retired, giving person was to “fill the gap.” It has never been filled like Eric did.

March 25, 2002

Yesterday was Palm Sunday. Sometimes Sunday’s can be downers. We go to church to worship. For many reasons, worship is minimal. Church action is plentiful. A variety of people that pass each other like ships in the night happens. The adult gathering (SS class) is a monologue of predictable words that reflect the leader’s life style. The main service is a fine tuned one hour and fifteen minutes that’s packaged in a menu that also includes the action news of the church body. Lot’s of choices for involvement. Predictable action, action, action.

This Sunday was vacation time for our family. Cregg’s family was in Arizona, Chris, Bud and family visiting Washington, DC. and Gary’s clan travelling between San Diego and San Francisco. New Aland was extremely quiet which contributed to our blaws.

PONDERING

As I read Acts, chapter 2, I feel that the early church gatherings were not predictable. Sharing and caring relational development is not a predictable venue. Yes there was teaching, but the focus was on helping each other in their quest for their relationship with God, their relationships in families and each other. Minimal monologue, much dialogue is the picture I have with loads of spiritual spontaneity, pleasurable pauses of natural fellowship, creative singing (even dancing), our Lord’s supper an interactive experience all blended in love. It was a time of less precision, no display of pomp and no sanctimonious power playing.

The church world is the largest corporation where big is better. Ordinary people get lost in the industry resulting in loneliness, uselessness, weirdness, a lack of purpose, and alternative time wasting. The power brokers gain control with predictable conformity programs. Conformity is only downward. The conformity follows the ways of the world and it squelches the spirit of individuals.

I don’t know what to do about my feelings other than to draw nigh unto my Lord, love my family and redeem the time leaving a legacy of sorts.

DOUG AND MERI

1993 was my 1st wake up call, which means time in intensive care. Pastor Doug had been a friend for 20 years. Our friendship started when Doug was in seminary and Merri was my secretary. We stayed connected. As I laid in the hospital, with my head, heart and body wondering and wandering about the path ahead, I received a surprise visit from Doug. Doug is a sensitive, relational person who had many hospital visits to the sick and dying. I was glad to see him because he is one of my authentic Christian friends and his words were of peace. His prayer was appropriate.

As Doug left the room he paused and gave me a book. A book written by a Catholic priest, Henri Nouwen , In the Name of Jesus. The personalized note from Doug and Marri brought tears because I knew we were linked as open Christian brother and sister. The book is small, 75 pages of large print (a great hospital reader). Henri reminds us that Jesus asks us to move from a concern for relevance to life of prayer, from worries about popularity to communal and mutual ministry, and from a leadership built on power to a leadership in which we critically discern where God is leading us and our relationships.

I got hooked on Henri. A person whose path started in the Netherlands, became a priest, a full professor at Notre Dame University, moved to Yale Divinity School, then taught at Harvard Divinity school. The path included trips to South America to see poverty, monasteries to contemplate and pray, retreats to write connecting with people to minister to. He invested his remaining days at Daybreak, L’Arche community of 200+ handicapped people. Henri wrote over 30 books. Then writers began to write and continue to write about Henri’s spiritual legacy and it’s profound impact on the hearts of people.

Doug, Marri and I are kindred spirit for which I’m grateful.

HENRI NOUWEN, A FRIEND

The impact of Henri on my life is centered in this message. I first became aware of his ministry when in 1992 I was watching the Sunday morning Shuller’s show on TV. A Catholic priest in his white uniform was a surprise to see and hear as the main event. Very gutsy. His message and spirituality was incredible. His message is that it is the poor who have the blessing to give to those who care. The following Sunday, another surprise, Henri’s speaking again and again shared his heart and head in an impacting delivery of the gospel.

Then I received the Henri book from Doug as I laid helpless in intensive care. The journey ahead was ready Henri’s Our Greatest Gift, Return of the Prodigal, Wounded Healer and other books by Henri.

In the early 90’s, I was involved in the men’s movement developing gatherings for Christian men from different religious backgrounds to come together and celebrate our togetherness (not differences) worshiping our Lord. 1st year, 1700 men gathered in Kenosha. The next year 4500 men at Elmbrook, Milwaukee area with Joe Stowell as the magnet. By now we’re on the ground floor for bigger and better celebrations like Swindol, Colson, etc. I thought a double header at Bradley Center, Milwaukee with 14,000 seats could be a dynamic gathering with Chuck Colson as the magnet for the protestants and Nouwen in his white priestly uniform would gather our Catholic brothers. The underlying excitement was give the opportunity for Catholic men to hear Colson and the rest hear Nouwen.

My excitement rose as I received a response from Henri that he would meet with me and discuss men’s ministries. The problem was that he was leaving on a sabbatical and so our meeting would have to be delayed until his return to Daybreak, Toronto. With that positive response, I designed a trip for Joan and I to take to Toronto and Quebec City estimating that he could be available for a discussion and invitation to speak with Colson at a future gathering. Joan and I toured Yonge street (the reported longest straight street in the world) to Daybreak, entered the main office, met Cathy, Henri’s personal assistant and introduced who and why we were there. Cathy remembered the letters exchanged, said Henri was back from his trip but the bad news was that he had left a few days before to go back to the Netherlands to film Return of the Prodigal. We were encouraged and discouraged. Quebec City was beautiful. When we arrived home I read that Henri had died of a heart attack in the Netherlands (his homeland). Henri was a friend that I never met eyeball to eyeball, but his words continue to minister to me especially in the dark nights of the soul. His words of challenging us to care for others and ponder less on selfishness and search beyond ourselves for producing fruit that becomes gifts to others for God’s glory.

Mike Duffy gave my the book, Seeds of Hope and Steve Sonderman gave to me a very good book 0n the spiritual legacy of Henri Nouwen by Deirdre LaNoue, a lady Ph.D. teacher at Dallas Baptist University.

Henri is a treasured friend and I’m grateful to God for the sharing of his journey with Jesus.

THE ROUGH ROAD DURING DARK DAYS

Life can be a swing between pleasures and problems, potential and pain, winning and losing, the ups and downs, the twists and turns, etc. Every person, their path, their beginning, their ending is individually unique. The center of our spinning and turning is the hub, God. He knows every piece of our life. In this last quarter I know that I know less and less for sure. One thing I know more clearly is “the grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our Lord stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)

Usually men do not want to think about failure. Rarely will a person admit a failure(s). It would be a sign of weakness, and we must look strong with our act being together in order to be respected and accepted. I have had many failures.

I’ve thought about having a “Failures Gathering,” a small group siting around a table like at a poker game. The one who draws the short straw would share a failure (a small one), the next would top it with a bigger failure, next would do the same until the first round was completed. Then the group would vote on the winning failure. The game would continue until all failures were on the table and the winner of the most (or biggest) would be declared and toasted (not roasted).

When we fail, we become weak, discouraged, wishing to quit. I know, I’ve been at those points many times because of many failures. Recently I’ve learned that failure(s) can be blessings. They become learning experiences for sure starting back from a place of humbleness. But the greatest assurance is the scripture that tells us “when you are weak, the Lord can become strong.” So it becomes a gift.

I have a cartoon customized to show me failing up the ladder. It’s humorous, but so is my perception of my failures. I call the cartoon, “failing up the ladder.” All the rungs are broken. I’m standing on the last rung. No desire to go back and try again to any of the places of failure to try again.

Webster defines the word precept as to advise, teach a principle or rule imposing a standard of action or conduct. My being resists rules and regulations that are written. I’ve been one who has learned most of what I know by doing (like using this Gateway box). I try to put something together and when I don’t get results, I read the fine print. I’ve been trying to put a life together and now I’m reading the fine print of scripture and I’m finding that the words are truth based on experience.

Bob Strain’s favorite words to share is “ Give away your life; you’ll find life given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” Early on, we are taught and conditioned to invest life. Invest in education, marriage, career, stuff, IRA, vacations, etc. Not giving. As we trod along, life is getting until there’s nothing (or funds) to get. Then we wonder about what to give. Eventually in reviewing what life should be, we have to make decisions on what can we give. My life was (is) blessed with a collection of experiences, not a focused career but diversity. No balance but a life what some would explain as severe wondering where to wander. What I would like to do now is share my failures and the precepts I learned by doing that led me through some dark days.

FAILING UP THE LADDER

• 1943, Army Air Corp. At 18, I enlisted in the AAC during the height of WWII, because I thought it would be the best. I wanted to be a P 51 fighter pilot, to become an ace, take pride in doing great.

• After boot camp, college, our path was to the place where we were given what training we would go through and what we would earn our wings for including becoming an officer, have nice uniforms and good pay. After tests and evaluations for a couple of months, I learned that I would not become a P 51 pilot or any kind of pilot. I would become a bombardier (with good looking uniform, good pay but a different set of wings). I wish now that I had held to the truth of Proverbs 3:2 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding, and he will direct your paths.” I wanted to direct my destiny(s) but as I look in the rear view window, I see now how God gave me an experience that was right for me. I should have trusted and would have eliminated the feeling of failure. I’m thankful that I didn’t become a pilot that would have probably lost an airplane and a life in training.

• In 1946 I was being academically educated, first at UCLA then a transfer to George Pepperdine. Early in life I knew that my parents wanted me to have a profession. I had had 7 years of violin lessons and discovered my dislike for the music profession because I could never be great. Good, but not great, ever. My parents thought and encouraged me to become a dentist. Lots of money and no night work. So in higher education I pursued that profession. Upon completion of the required pre-dental courses I applied to several dental schools and received rejections. I later learned that unless you were a son of a dentist or had straight A grades, the demand was so pent up because of the war, the opportunity was nil, nada.

My daughter Chris married a dentist who at the age of 5 acquired the passion to become a
dentist. It was the driving force of his life. His path was chosen and directed and he finished
the course, won the race (for a position) and is very good. The record shows the facts. The
biggest item he works on is extremely small as we all know and requires incredible focusing
ability and staying patience. Neither attribute do I have beyond a D grade.

Now when I come across Proverbs 2:4 in the Living Bible, “I want to make the simple-minded wise.” He said. “I want to warn young men about some problems they will face.” Looking back, I know that I would have created catastrophic problems like drilling holes through patient eyeballs. It was better for me to move on, continue to learn and eventually find a passion for performance.

MAN URE

The word manure is not a good title for a story, grandpa. Yes, but man ure is because the title gets attention. Let’s dig into the man ure pile, OK?

Rueben said, “Harry, if you put a bunch of preachers together, they’re like manure. They can burn you and it will smell bad, but Harry, if you spread them around, they can do a lot of good.”

A friend shared a wild story about two friends and their creative gift exchanges. One of their very best exchanges started with Marv finding an antique water closet, had it crated then delivered to Bud’s office. Now Bud was a high level banker with a large office in a high rise office building in downtown Chicago. When the large gift arrived, the people gathered around for the grand opening. Uncrating the gift from a large wooden box was frustrating without proper tools. Eventually the gift of the large commode with a high tank was exposed. The people laughed at this joke gift. Later, Bud got a brilliant idea that was related to the toilet. He ordered a large dump truck loaded with smelly manure, and had it delivered and dumped in Marv’s driveway. Imagine the frustration of not getting into your driveway and the disposing of such a gift. Every once in a while there’s a pause in the giving of gifts allowing time for the creative juices to emerge.

Everyone has different pictures of manure. Dr. Webster defines manure as, “To cultivate land and material to fertilize soil.”

How can we make man ure workable in our relations with friends? How about, “MAN (Dude) U R ENCOURAGING.”

Encouraging is a spirit word, like care, share, love, hate, failure, etc. I think to be encouraging is one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other. Dr. Webster’s take on encouraging is, “To impart hope or courage and his definition on encourage;” To inspire with hope, courage or confidence, to give support and to stimulate.”

Most friends bounce between crises and dreams and it’s the friends who stay along for the ride. I’ve learned that too much manure (judging and advice), when a friend is down, burns and smells. Spreading the right amount of encouragement takes a sensitive friend when life is in the pits or when one is in the clouds. This kind of spreading takes a commitment of love and time.

Friends are treasures like diamonds and their encouragement is the polish that gives the sparkle in living and the twinkling in the eyes when friends rub their hearts.

Dr. Timothy Johnson (ABC, TV doctor) wrote in his book that we should never get in the way of a person’s dream. I would add that when someone says, “ MAN URE ( ENCOURAGING),”. then you’re spreading the right amount MAN URE. How about that, Andrew?

Courage, encourage, encouragement, encouraging then encourager are great spirit building words.

Meet Big Frank, My Friend

I met Frank at the Racine, Wisconsin’s only existing
light house that has a light house keeper who see that the
light shines during the dark hours every night as a
symbol of guiding ships to their harbors from the mid 1800’s to the time of electronic guidance systems that continue the task of saving lives. Lake Michigan can become treacherous without warning.
10/10/10 was a beautiful fall Sunday, with weathermen broadcasting the good news that it was peak color time, and it was beeeautiful. Our son-in-law suggested the early afternoon experience. It was the last day of the season when guided tours would be conducted including a walk “to the top.” The last guided tour was 3 pm when the sun’s light brought out the best in the color of the surrounding flora. Joan and I were not in condition to walk to the top. Instead we strolled to the beach where the oil storage house and light house museum stood.
We stopped at the memorial park where large paving bricks were etched with words from families. The bricks held several benches where the old folk could rest and gaze at the sea and remember the ferry trips from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Ludington, Michigan. They were low cost cruises for many families. We started reading the “bricks.”
SIS MARY THOMPSON-BROWN ALFRED WM. HANSEN
SANDRA N. SUPRAK 1869-1940 A FATHER IS NEITHER
1961-2007 AND AN ANCHOR
YOU ARE GOING WHERE JACOB MARTIN BROWN TO HOLD US BACK
ONLY ANGELS GO 1867-1943 NOR A SAIL
AND YOU ARE THE …RESCUE THE PERISHING… TO TAKE US THERE
PERTTIEST ANGEL THE LIGHT OF THE LORD BUT ALWAYS A
WE LOVE YOU & MISS GUIDES ME SAFELY GUIDING LIGHT
YOU VERY MUCH THROUGH THE STORMS WHOSE LOVE
MOM DAD SAM PHIL SHOWS US THE WAY
I may be weird cause I enjoy read tombstones, grave markers and memorial plaques. It reminds me how precious life is and what am I doing to make it joyful. Also, I think about the selected words and the meaning to me they convey. On trips to other contries and churches that have grave yards, we pause to read, think, meditate and give thanks for life.

After a few moments, being the itchy type, I moseyed over to the museum that was about the size of a single garage. The collection was small. The boat pictures were mostly the 1800 era with many paddle boats that bounced along the shores of Lake Michigan delivering necessities. Some pictures of boats that were damaged by the fierce storms. My mind wandered back to my grandfather who in the same era was a captain of a small ship that travelled from Marieahamn, Aland Islands between Finland and Sweden who as soon as the ice melted in the spring, he would gather his crew and sail from port to port in Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Germany, France and England doing what FEDEX does today. He would barter for needed goods that would keep the family life style a tad better than his neighbors. Coming home was the occasion to greet the new born planted during the winter no sailing time.
Frank was standing reading a sea story. His outfit was the most vivid color of the afternoon. I took a picture. Frank turned around and saw me gawking at his size and colors. I said, “Man, you have the most colorful outfit on today that is so beautiful---can I take your picture?” He smiled and said, ”Sure man!” He walked over to the bench where his wife was sitting and grinning. “What’s your name?” He responded, “Frank.” “My name is Dave.” We shook hands and out came, “Glad to meet you Frank and why are you so happy while the world is so angry?” “That’s just who I am, I guess.” “What do you mean---that’s just the way you are?” Frank responded with, “I have found in life that when I have a good disposition, it brings out the best in others.” He was still smiling like in the picture.
Two ladies walked toward us and hollered Frank! His response was, “Hey Mary, Sylvia---come and meet my friend Dave.” They walked over and he told me that the ladies were some of his best friends. “Hey Mary, meet Dave---Sylvia, meet Dave.” We chatted about the beauty of the day and how good it was to meet friends. Frank is a friend collector.
The Frank story was told to “Beloved friend,,” Harry. We talk on the phone almost every day and share the “good stuff” that’s happened or being planned.. “Hey Harry, what’s your definition of the word disposition?” Response, “happy, positive, joyful.” Here’s Webster’s “disposition n1. Ones usual mood: temperament 2. Habitual tendency or inclination
Frank is a beautiful model of an affectionate disposition. An affectionate disposition brings out the best in others--=as Webster states.
Now I’m asking, “What can I do to improve my disposition?” We can get caught up in me-ism like what’s in it for me or no one cares for me, or why should II care about others. Who makes me happy? What makes me happy? Then the question follows, “why should you be happy?”
It seems that many old people take Webster’s definition as entitlement for getting old. “What are you doing to make me happy?” A grumpy disposition does not gather happiness or better yet joy.
Frank buried deep in my soul the concept of a good disposition, an affectionate disposition, one that gives blessings to everyone and scatters seeds of goodness into this world that is so angry, hurting and needs beyond imagination, Frank made my day and hopefully unforgotten for the message and illustration he implanted in my memory bank labeled, Frank 10/10/10.

GATHERINGS

During the last half of the 20th century, the Christians in the church world went through phases starting with Crusades led by Reverend Billy Graham. Following by specialized programs like Campus Crusade, Navigators, Young Life, Awana, Bible Fellowships, Men’s Retreats, Women’s Retreats, and Youth Camps. It was then capped by marches with the purpose to make focused statements. Literally millions of people joined the action. This was church culture (industry).
Lynn was a cabinet salesman and I was a client. Soon we engaged in “church” talk. We soon discovered that we attended very different church cultures. We became friends and enjoyed discussing our different perspectives. One day I said, “Lynn, you go to a goofy church and I go to a different goofy church from our individual perspectives.” Since we had become friends, our conversations were interesting and comfortable respecting our differences. Then our relationship changed.
Lynn attended the first Promise Keepers gathering in Boulder, Colorado. It was a 2 or 3 day rally for men who desired a deeper spiritual life. There were contemporary singers and great fireball speakers. I remember the Monday morning he returned. I was his first stop. He was excited and quickly asked, “Dave, would you be my mentor?” I knew what he meant. I responded, “How can I be your mentor when I can’t find one for myself?” I said, “Let’s be brothers, OK?” That was the start of a fresh relationship. Soon he asked, “Heh brother, what are we going to do?” My response, “Let’s have a gathering of “Goofies,” men from a broad spectrum of churches like Pentecostal, Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Bible Churches, Episcopalian, 7th Day Adventist, etc. and celebrate the common thread that binds us together in spite of our differences.
That was a big idea. We pooled some cash, Lynn got the OK to use the new 2000 seat church he attended and I worked on the program. We thought if we got 500 men, we wouldn’t lose too much cash. The first Saturday night in February (very cold), we were surprised that over 1700 men showed up to this Wisconsin Men’s Gathering. It began and ended with unpredictability.
The next year under the leadership of Steve, 4500 men came to the second gathering on the first Saturday in February, 1994. The gathering was named No Regrets and has since gathered over 60,000 men by 2010. Every year, Steve leads a group of men who believe in the gathering concept. A collection of speakers that can move men forward spiritually, good-action, men singing, drama, and a variety of seminars for helping men think about the important things.
Lynn died of cancer in his early 50’s just before the 10th anniversary, full house celebration in 2003. Lynn loved the true meaning of life and enhanced my life with his “Brothering.” Lynn’s last request was to have men’s communion service led by Steve in his father’s home. It was a marvelous spiritual experience as Lynn shared his last thoughts with his brother, father, best friend, myself and with Steve. It was not morbid, but a beautiful bonding of hearts as we shared the Lord’s Supper. It was truly a brother’s gathering.
Steve has been there for so many men since he’s the associate pastor for men and ministers to over 3000 men who attend the church in the Milwaukee area called Elmbrook. Steve has grown to become a speaker at men’s retreats and conferences all over the world, and written books and manuals to assist men in living a manly life. He’s a wonderful friend called Steve the Swede. With five friends named Steve, I give special names. I hope you get to meet him on your journey. When in Wisconsin, try Elmbrook, you’ll like it.

MENTAL MOUNTAIN

The mental mountain began in Lara’s 1970 Toyota Corolla in the start of the new millenium, at the age of 75, having an adventure with Gar, Marco and Steve. It was on that day that we saw Heh Suess standing on a dirt road in a barrio outside the city of Monterrey.

Since that day, life’s compass has been adjusted toward the view of the plight of our neighbor’s abandoned children in Mexico. What can an old man do? Not much, except have fresh thoughts and friends to share with. So what’s happened? Relative to the needs, not much, except a start.

In five years the help started with a pick-up truck loaded with toys that was taken to Lara in Monterrey so he could bury the Toyota. Thus he had more ability to do more. Every day he goes to the market and gets the thrown veggies, takes them home and makes a meal for the next day’s lunch for the barrio children. This was the start.

The next project was the bags and barrels collection of toys, clothing, computers, paint, Spanish bibles and only God knows what else. A forty-five foot, semi-truck trailer was filled for drops in Monterrey, Cuernavaca and Michican to be given to the poor, especially children. After the filling, it was learned that the trailer would not get across the border and even if it did, the stuff would be stolen in the first hundred miles. This was a mess. There was a trailer full of stuff and no place to go. Steve had a connection that connected. Faith Mission in McAllen, Texas who took the load and distributed all the goods to the poor including toys at Christmas to 2,000.

There have been three groups of young people who have gone to the barrio that Lara connected us with. They gave their lives to working on projects and loving the barrio children. This year, the #4 group will repeat, bringing the total to over 100 people impacted and receiving blessings. In God’s economy, those who give to the poor receive the blessings.

The mountain of children in abject poverty (dirt floors without water, electricity, sanitation, transportation, refrigeration and many without schooling) is a staggering fifteen million. Add to that the horror of the homeless and the barrio children who roam the streets of cities scrounging for food, stealing or selling stuff for survival of life. It’s been reported that around 500 children die every day. That’s about 180,000 each year. That’s like half of the state of California living in those conditions or one and a half of Illinois. Can you imagine that?

Some say, “If they, (Mexicans) cared for their children, the need would be small. Don’t they care for their children? Others comment that we have poor here in the U.S. that need all we can give. Not being a thorough student of Mexicans and Mexico, but through some experiences both resort and barrio, I do know that Mexico is a poor neighbor with no social net for widows and orphans. There are few places that have open doors for abandoned children and less for the poor, homeless elderly.

I also know that there are Mexicans who really care and are partnering with faith based groups in the U.S. in giving love and care for abandoned children. The partners need encouragement ($$$) and friends who care enough to share in the adventures of receiving blessings. The alternative is dark. Caring Action for Children in Mexico is a good example of partnering with seven homes and caring for up to 270 children. Faith Mission in McAllen, Texas and Reynosa, Mexico is another example of caring and sharing. The Salvation Army has 19 children care centers in Mexico.

“Brain drippings” (ideas) are being collected so that a mental mountain to climb can be a vision with adventures. We need courage for the long uphill climb back to faith and love that cares

MIND MUSH

Our minds are marvelous, maybe God’s greatest creation. The mind guides us, collects information, assists in personal relations, stores memories, etc. The mind is awesome.

A vivid memory of a talk show while driving in Minneapolis in snow and on slick streets in the late 60’s has stuck in my memory bank about our minds. Here’s what I remember:

“Today, the most incredible news from the science world has been released. A machine is almost completed that is so sensitive that it will be able to read the mind, then record thoughts and produce printout. When completed, it will be the most revolutionary machine ever developed in the history of mankind.” This caught my undivided attention.

Continuing on, “Since the mind operates in words and visual pictures, at a rate of 10 to 1,000’s of images per second, the progress of humanity will increase beyond comprehension.” Imagine two people pointing the machine’s antenna at each other and communicating at Mental Speed without having the voice box interfere. Creativity and competition will soar. People could then communicate with the blind and deaf. The quality of life will be enhanced and all of mankind will become super people.” WOW, this was interesting.

Next, “You’re walking on the street, looking, thinking, whistling and the machine happens to be following and recording. The followers stop you and showed you your recorded thoughts and then ask questions, especially if lust and greed were mixed in.” Another WOW.

Now comes the super bad news. “Listeners, what if an evil regime with a leader like Hitler got control of the Marvel Machine. Say he paraded everyone through the tunnel of questions and if the thoughts were not conforming, you were eliminated. Since your nature controls your thoughts, you couldn’t lie your way out to save your life.” This obviously was nutty.

Now we’ve entered the Dish Century where words and visuals are filling the mind with Mush Stuff. Our lives are filled with the blend of visual and words that are geared to reduce our thinking process and lead us to invest our energy into their model of happiness in life. This is living in the worlds’ values vacuum. The blind and deaf may be fortunate.

John LeCarre, author of Absolute Friends, wrote, “What would it be to like to absolutely to believe? To know, and absolutely know that there’s a Divine Being not set in time or space who reads your thoughts better than you ever did, and probably before you ever had them.”

It was for the people of the world (listening audience) that this radio broadcast was pointed at. “God, who created every mind, is listening, recording every thought of every mind since the beginning of time.” I really don’t think that the “Mind Machine” will ever be developed because I believe that our God who loves us is the God who we can trust and can help in keeping our minds from turning to mush, as we love and trust our Creator.

MORE HOOPS

You know hoops. They are circles that experts share with you how to improve your quality of life. The how to be better, do more, get more out of your reality living, intellectually, financially, emotionally, relationally, physically or spiritually. There are times when I need help in all five areas. When I hit forty going 80 MPH, I turned to Dale’s book on Think and Grow Rich. It didn’t work because he was writing about becoming wealthy, not rich. I’ve learned that much stuff that is written is ego trips that bring in bucks and that’s OK because it’s money that makes the world go around and around.

After listening in the flesh to Peter Drucker and Bob Buford, author of Finishing Well, and reading many other self help books on how to do better, live better, feel better, etc. Add to this the many books on leadership, management, purpose and direction, I’ve concluded that I’m failing. But then I realize that many author’s are unable to achieve the heights that they expound based on their realities when you look at their score card in the five segments of true quality living.

Friends sent to me Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, one of the best all time sellers. Looking through the forty packages, I concluded that I was too old to try and master his set of spiritual hoops. One package caught my eye that printed How to Be a First Class Christian. I like class and I’m Christian so I read the seven pages. Good stuff because it fortified my bias and it’s my reality in learning how to age well.

Purpose and soul are hot words in titles. I received a book, Road to Purpose and the author wrote to me, “To Dave, Please enjoy the book. Life is better when you have a purpose. Wishing you the best. Dated October 25, 2004. Next book received was from a friend, The Soul of God and he wrote, May your journey not end until you touch the soul of God. Friend Steve gave me his first module (3” thick) titled Soul Purpose. All the pile of words are different but it’s interesting that I’ve received Purpose and Soul books to soak in.

Here’s where I’m going. Yesterday I purchased the book by Stephen R. Covey, The 8th Habit. This is a different hoops book from my perspective. It takes me from the self as the center struggling from effectiveness in living to soul purpose called listening to your inner voice. In twenty four hours skimming two hundred pages, I’ve concluded that this appears to be a good “Hoop’s” book. Tomorrow, the serious reading begins and this is why. I’m giving some “Catchies or Got Ya’s.”

First element was the blessings from the famous such as:
• Ken Blanchard, the co-author The One Minute Manager.
• Larry King and John Wooden (UCLA fame).
• William G. Parrett, CEO of Deloitte Touche Tahmatso
• J.W. Marriott, CEO, Marriott International
• Douglas R. Conant, Pres. CEO, Campbell Soup Company
• Harvard Professor, leadership, management experts who affirmed Covey.

Published in 2004 (Free Press) after five years of research by the team of contributors
Author Covey has written eight highly acclaimed books on management and leadership. Also from the Franklin Covey Co. are nine books such as, The 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Manage ment. The seventeen best selling books and consulting success are good reasons for the investment ($27.) and brain soaking time.

The following words triggered this upcoming investment of time. When I finish, I’ll refine.
• To the humble, courageous, “great” ones among us who exemplify how leadership is a choice, not a position. The twelve were chosen.
• On page one was the listening of the voices from, I’m stuck in a rut to I can’t change things.
• Pages two and three reports that a survey listed ten stunning findings from, only 37 percent said they have a clear understanding of what their organization is trying to achieve and why only 20 percent fully trusted the organization they work for.
• When the infrastructure shifts, every thing rumbles. The world has shifted from Hunter/Gatherer to Agricultural, to Industrial and now Information Knowledge Worker. The author states that the next era is Wisdom. That’s wonderful knowing the base.
• There’s going to be a downward spiral of codependency.
• The future is the whole person paradigm. It’s the mind, body heart with the center our spirit.
• We have choices like rebel and quit, to malicious obedience, or willing compliance to cheerful cooperation or heartfelt commitment with the best being creative excitement.
• The soul is searching for meaning.
• Our first birth gift: the freedom to choose. Our second birth gift: natural laws or principles. Then come’s a long quote on how C.S. Lewis speaks of those who say there are no such things as universal principles.
• The key task is to determine where “true north” is and then to align everything toward that. Otherwise, you’ll live with the inevitable negative consequences that follow.
• Wisdom denotes the pursuing of the best ends by the best means. That’s aging well.
• The rungs of the ladder to initiative: #1 Wait until told,#2 Ask, #3 Make a recommendation,
#4 “I intend to” #5 Do it and report immediately, #6 Do it and report periodically, #7 Do it!
• The five cancerous behaviors are contending, competing, comparing, complaining and criticizing.
• Blend voices, search for the alternative. Inspire others to find their voice.
• Best one to four word expressions: “please,” “thank you,” “I love you,” ‘How may I help.”
• The seven habits of highly effective people:
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be understood.
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw

“Few of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love “
Mother Teresa

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary purpose all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. By Sutras of Patanjali.

Victor Hugo wrote, “Theirs nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come.”

An idea or ideas need the blending of brain drippings. There are some ideas on loving and caring for our neighbors children that are in the air’

MORE ON LIVING
The journey steps to peace

The many years of collecting experiences that blends the regrets, recoveries, rewards, eventually comes together that leaves tracks to reflect on. Living a life of no regrets is as impossible as living a life all rewards. There are times for recovering. The heart always is seeking recovery. These words are about exploring the soul, the heart of every person. Life is like sailing, not like a power boat for reaching hopes, dreams, reality, etc. Power boats illustrate control of the destination (unless you run out of fuel, food, etc.). Sailing is an illustration of total dependency. There is control over the winds of fate, no power of the spirit or wishes, sometimes not even a harbor in view.

A life given to sailing is adventuresome. At birth we have incredible wants with insecurities driving in a direction that’s controlled. The demands of the “I” are never totally satisfied. “I” moves towards meeting the desires of the heart, the lust of the flesh and a path of desires that will never be achieved. My “I’ knows all to well the “I” life. The “I” is never fulfilled. We are always striving. Pressing towards a goal never achieved. A life of no needs, wants, total satisfaction, controlled, free without the “we” is hollow on the inside, shining on the outside. It takes time to realize the necessity of the “we” in life. Relationships of trust, love, cause, living to learn, laughter, and joy in concert that helps make living worth while.

“I” is a very small word that holds stories of pain, problems, people, relationships, and purpose. The 6 billion people on planet earth, the billions who have died and the billions yet to come are “I” stories and we know well our personal story. Only God has the big picture of all the “I’s” including the most minuet details.

With years of history that has collected people, pleasures, problems, pains and tons of trash, I’ve recently been thinking about the word legacy. What am I going to leave my family, trash? They have their own pile and continue to heap stuff into their lives, but that’s OK. One legacy that will continue on in this century at least is my DNA droppings. If the current trend continues of 3.2 children per family, there will be over 300 people that will have “droppings” at the end of the 21st century. All part of the genetic “crap shoot.”

The objective of these words is to give a picture of an “I” that will be a part of their lives forever. Hopefully they will direct their paths that avoid or reduce the pains and unsolved problems that I’ve had as well as learn about my pleasures as well as meet people who make up my family and collection of treasured friends, very good friends, friends and others.

One of my sons said, “Why don’t you put your life into words?” A very good friend later challenged me to write about people who have impacted my soul. “Soul sailors,” have helped in setting the goal for the soul. Since I have CHF (congestive heart failure) there are sleepless nights when my mind is collecting thoughts and theses challenges have got me started on this path of print. Mother Teresa’s path to peace was simple and straight- forward. First listen, block all thoughts that are self- centered, listen, listen, listen. That is a difficult first step. Next pray, then meditate, followed by love, and works of charity. The result is a peaceful head, heart and hands wired together with a purpose for living. So Mother Teresa is one who impacted my soul.

Fifteen or so years ago I wrote the story of my life called JODARE. There was a break in my schedule that I needed to fill doing something (since I’m a workaholic). It’s a picture I wanted to express that as I read it today there is a lot of BS. Maybe it is a picture of who I wanted people to see. Time was invested, history of my life is in “Jodare” (and fairly accurate). Now I’m including the stuff in my legacy barrel. On page 51, there is a very true statement of desire. “In the past I have lived to learn. Now it is time to learn to live.” That was so true and it was a step in readjusting my compass and start “Soul sailing.” The essence of life is to learn the love and purpose we were created for. I’m still learning one day at a time, the upward steps of learning to live. So the following is what has happened, what I hope happens and some of the truths that have been learned. Since being schooled in the BS life, these words are going to be monitored by friends and family.

Today I read the 15 year old pile of words and technically there were a few errors. Emotionally it was not valuable other than to realize that life is a process to be lived. The desires of the heart then still persist but time has added twists and turns that need to be in print if the 70 pages written have closure. I was 63, still striving for surviving. Many more pages need to be added to this legacy.

It’s time to shift from “I” to “WE” so this is my attempt to combine my faith, family, treasured friends, friends and other stuff and try to unpack the baggage getting ready for the big trip.

The longer I live, the more my faith in my Lord grows. A combination of a need to understand more about Jesus, relinquishing my striving and accepting the eternal hope that scripture describes. It’s growing from being religious in image, to a reality of spiritual purpose for the rest of my days. As Mother Teresa puts it, more listening, time in prayer, much meditation, a life filled with love to everyone, doing the good that God directs and resting in the peace that’s beyond understanding.

With 4 major wake up calls (intensive care) in the last years, I’ve not only have come close to death but closer to my eternal resting place. At age 68, major heart surgery. At age 74, 1st major stomach surgery. Age 75, more stomach surgery with a blood clot in my right lung. At age 76 a pacemaker insert followed by CHF attach (congestive heart failure) with a relapse a month later. Now I celebrate life 1 pill at a time, 8 different, 420 per month.

I’ve inserted this list to show how far the pharmaceutical industry is growing. My father and mother would take aspirin occasionally. I was raised on the concept that when you were sick (with anything) the 3 “musts” were, take an enema, go to bed and drink lots of water. With our children, we took them to the family doctor who usually prescribed an over the counter medicine, water and bed. No enema. In one generation, from aspirin to multi high tech medication that extends life and reduces pain. Today, I’m wondering about the “pill” life costs to future generations. What would be nice would be one cure all pill for a buck a day. With 6 billion people it would amount to a
$2,190,000,000,000. annual income industry.

So now, I’m trying to live a life with my Lord that’s sweeter as the days go by. The old hymn expresses it well, “sweeter as the years go by, richer, fuller, deeper, Jesus’ love is sweeter, sweeter as the years go by.” We don’t sing the old goodies in church anymore but I hum them (mentally) during my sleepless hours because of CHF.

Recently, a mature friend said to quite trying. His simple formula was repent, relinquish, and relax on a day to day basis. He said, “that’s what scripture teaches.” Re-new your mind daily by listening to Jesus.

WE
Family

Joan, my lovely wife of many plus years started from different postures to take interest in each other. She was raised in Catholic schools until high school, was very attractive, dressed well, became recognizable in the hallways because of a large cast around her knee. An accident that she should share and how it impacted her life. Her image was one of wealth because of her taste in clothing, but especially because of the home her family lived in. I remember our first date, how when I drove up into an expensive neighborhood and into her driveway, my thoughts were WOW, she’s not only good looking but rich besides. A rich Catholic girlfriend was unthinkable in my family and church.

Here I was as a common (non-jock), 3 ½ stripe evangelical with an image of a religious heretic. In Joan’s family, a mixture of relaxed Catholics to every Sunday mass Catholics was being courted by a nice young man who dressed well (important). As a nice young man, I took their precious daughter to nice restaurants and good movies, had been accepted as a cadet in WWII Army Air Corp, couldn’t be all bad and it probably wouldn’t last long anyway.

Joan surprised me by asking me to go with her to a sorority party. I responded positive not knowing who she really was, where she lived and what a date would be like. After thinking out these questions, I asked her to go do my favorite thing, go to a movie. Joan accepted. That’s when I had the WOW experience. We did hold hands on the first date and at the party that was at her home, we danced and kissed. That was the second WOW.

On July 26, 1947, we married in our church, the Evangelical Free Church of Los Angeles, which up to that day was the hottest day in history for weather and the coldest day for our families because of the religious differences and that Joan had renounced the Catholic way of living. After 54+ years we have moved from being independent to dependency (Joan from home engineer and me a simple provider in a variety of efforts) to interdependency, my bouncing on the trampoline of life and Joan trying to keep equilibrium. Some years were great and pleasurable, others with pain, problems, anxiety and struggle. As I look back in the rear view mirror, we have been blessed and our choosing of each other as life and soul partners could not have been better. I’ve said that marriages are lousy but I must say that I have not observed any marriage better than ours.

16 of our children including grandchildren (plus grandma and grandpa) live in New Aland, a 30 acre oasis. It’s a story for when I get to the home places of our life from West Los Angeles to Antioch, Illinois (via Colorado, Oregon, New Mexico, Nebraska, North Dakota, Arizona, Kansas, Texas, Deerfield). We lived 36 years in California, 36 years in Illinois and 4 years in 8 other states. I must say, we’ve had a variety of “homes” in 76 years ( basic birth 2, WWII 10, Korean War 5, others 16). A total of 33 “roofs” for an average of 2.3 years per home stay. The good news is New Aland where we have lived for 28 years and will probably be buried here.

One of my “last day’s desires” is to write each of 21 “off- shoots” a personal letter. I’ve done several but I’ll redo them with my latest feelings for each one.

I’ve been learning that one of the side effects of CHF is discouragement (sleeplessness), depression (low energy) and some days feeling down right lousy (breathing problems). Today is one of the “D” days---a downer. It would probably be better if I took a “pass” today. But if I lay on the couch, think misery, let the negative thoughts take control, I would lose a full day and I know the feeling of a lost day at dinner time. So I press the keys, paint a picture, read good stuff (Undaunted Courage by Steven Ambrose, Eugene Peterson’s Message), stoke the fire, call some friends, have an extra coffee or tea and move on the path of the living.

As I look back on the many years of learning while growing old, I see a time of ups and downers. As I look forward I’m hoping for more uppers (than downer days). My rhythm is to get lighter, lovelyer, more loving and looking in the right direction. It’s nice to say, these resolutions, but only a grace driven life can move up the ladder of learning about the love and eternal hope we have in Christ.

MY 59 SECOND CLOCK

In August, 2002, I was a guest at the 5 Star Condell Health Resort and Care Center for my 4th annual visit to death row. A simple 5 day gall bladder turned into a 22 day visit because of a serious infection in my right buttox.

My room, #410, is across from the nurses station where continual parties were held while the nurses waited for their next round of tasks such as taking blood pressure, drawing blood, giving pills, measuring the urine amount, hanging fresh I V bags and other requirements based on the guest’s needs. With two guests per room with different care nurses, it seemed as though traffic started an hour after dinner and continued like clock work until breakfast.

Once, my doctor said that hospitals were not for sleeping. I agree mentally but physically the body cries for sleep for at least some of the night, like 2 or 3 hours.

One or two nights I couldn’t sleep. I tried prayers, mantras like “my mind is going to stop now.” I tried to count sheep. Joan and I visited the ultimate sheep country, New Zealand. We stayed at 3 different sheep ranches and it was a great learning experience as well as enjoyable. So I thought about the NZ sheep and tried to count sheep. Impossible. Nothing worked. I’m getting exhausted as well as uncomfortable (mad). I kept requesting sleeping pills. The nurses would only give a few and they didn’t do the job.

There was a large electric clock right in front of me that kept telling me that I wasn’t sleeping. Soon I started to study the clock because it was alive. The second hand stopped at each second marker. It had kind of a jerky movement. It was mesmerizing. I started counting the jerks (seconds) and discovered that there were only 59 jerks per minute. I continued to count thinking that I would soon fall asleep. Minute after minute the clock identified 59 seconds. I finally stopped counting and started to think what the message was.

Soon I started to calculate the loss of seconds. 1 lost each minute, 60 seconds lost each hour, 1440 every day, 525,000 per year and for 77 years of age, 40,471,200 seconds lost. There are 86,400 seconds per day. That means, almost 4700 days would be lost in my life on a 59 second clock or 17% of my time. Now this was a stupid use of bedtime, but it finally put me to sleep.

Each time I visit Condell, I more clearly learn about redeeming the time. Each second is precious and I’m grateful for experiences that cause me to become more aware of the gift of life. Life is holy and life is precious. Living each day with a focus on my faith, family, friends, fun and focus gives reasons for hanging on. I’m blessed beyond what I deserve. Thank you, Jesus.

My Last Prayer
This prayer started on 01/01/10. Since 1999, there were visits every year to Condell Hospital for major health issues that put the body in ICU 4 times. In 2009, there was 3 visit’s totally 22 days, plus visits to the hospital for 2 hour infusions every day for 3 ½ weeks. Add to that, appointments with the primary doctor, cardiologist, kidney, /oncologist, podiatrist, and hospital labs. At the age of 83, the body was on a fast track decaying.
For so many years, New Year resolutions were made, always setting the bar too high and constantly failing. In 2010, the resolution was to make no resolutions. The weakness of life was “focus disability.” The vocations were short lived (maximum 10 years), jumping from opportunity to opportunity collecting experiences and learning flexibility, but adding ideas about stuff and life. It was living high speed, in many places.
Nearing the end, I finally am focusing. Actually resolving to focus on prayer and making adjustments in living a slower, simpler, and adding solitude. The “Final Prayer” is that every day during solitude and meditation, the words of the prayer would be fine tuned by listening to God and life so that the last day there is no fear and much love to give.

Prayer From My Heart
“Our father in heaven, hallowed by thy name. Today, I need an infusion of your grace. My remaining days are in your loving hands. There’s nothing more that medicine can do. Somehow I’m not afraid anymore. I feel you are near; I sense your loving concern.
All life is terminal on this earth but I really believe that it’s end is only the beginning. It’s such an important step in your creative process.
I am grateful, Lord, that you are beside me all the way and will accompany me in this new adventure into regions and experiences that are beyond human knowledge or comprehension. Now, my God, I pray for my dear family and friends who may not feel your nearness as clearly as I do in this moment. Grant them, also, your grace. Their pain is far greater than mine. Have your own way, Lord, with me and with them, for we are you are yours forever.”

NO ENEMY BUT TIME

What can I as an individual contribute to the overwhelming needs in the world? I have so many friends who have so many gifts and skills and are already doing so many things that are so important in making this world a better place to live in. Where do I fit in? I’m not quite sure. But I’m trying. OK?

The older we get, the less we know what we should do and certainly what we can do. Then creeps in the life factors, what we want (or have passion) to do and why we choose to do selected things. Since each person is crafted so differently, we are limited by doing only what we can do.

I like the way Edward Everett Hale addresses this point:

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything;
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I still will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

Friends add so much living to life, so I like changing the word I, to “We” in Hale’s words. The good life is “doing” with friends, something we can do together to make the world a better place.

A few years ago, while shopping at Barnes and Noble book shopping, (the magnets for me are titles and price). It’s an old man’s life style. When the title popped, No Enemy But Time by William C. Harris, Jr. It’s a finely crafted book of compelling stories of politics, corruption, murders and buried secrets. I read the book to Joan and we enjoyed the time. The title has stayed with me as a collector of a bucket half full of thoughts.

The loving of friends takes time and as the enemy (s) steals time, we soon can become disconnected. Real loneliness comes when we don’t have time to stay connected. A friend made the comment that for some reason we’ve stayed connected even though we live miles apart. The answer, “The hours between 10 pm and midnight is the friends connection time. This is because of a sleeping disorder that starts with TBP (tired bladder). So about 20 or so hours each week is sleepless and preoccupied with memories of friends. Sometimes the enemy brings to me my failures but soon the thoughts of friend’s, rescues my brain.

A cause that grabbed my heart in 2005 was the plight of our neighbor’s abandoned children and the children in Mexico who live in abject poverty in horrid homes. The estimate is 12,000,000 children. It’s an overwhelming picture of needs. Collecting ideas is basically bring our “Can do’s” in concert with friends, one step at a time and one day at a time.The opportunity came to give a caring women named Martha her dream of a learning center and a library for her 50 abandoned children. Martha started Casa Hogar after she retired with one baby. She’s worthy. Her dreams have been fulfilled. Our help is no longer needed.

This is the time to start an adventure called The Bridge, without a compass, road map, agenda or organization. Webster’s definition of a friend is, “A friend is a person you trust and have a common cause with.” A sharing will begin of ideas, experiences, connections and wisdom with friends who care about people.

In the days ahead, ideas are to be collected (electronically), information shared and thoughts will begin flowing. We’ll do what we can as individuals because the cause and ideas are worthy and challenging. Imagine a charming village that is a collection of people with needs serving one another and learning to love one another. With Habitat for Humanity, Mark Albrecht, Doug Dahlin designs and friends who would like to share in the launching of a new kind of community. It can be an example of what can be when friends say, “I’ll do what I can.” It’s not about money, it’s all about friends and the people who need a hand up, not a hand out.

The next era could and should be the best era.

NO FISH?

Mother loved two things in life. Being an emigrant from Denmark, marrying a Swede in Los Angeles (1910), she never learned to drive a car or carry a checkbook. She did the basic basics. There were two sports that she loved that involved cash and the Red line streetcar.

Her #1 sport was fishing. A couple of times each summer, mom would fix a large sack lunch, put it in a bait pail with a burlap bag (for the fish), tie 4 fishing poles together, a small bag of hooks and fishing line. Then at 6 AM, we walked 5 city blocks to catch the Big Red. We were always early and excited. The Red went to Venice, Playa del Rey, El Segundo, Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach and finally to Redondo Beach. We’d walk out to the end of the pier and catch a water taxi to the fishing barge. Fun all the way. We (mom) caught mackerel, barracuda and usually the favorite, halibut. The fun ended as we did the reverse trip, tired from all day in the sun and with a sack of fish that had a growing odor that passengers on Big Red resented. No freezer meant cooking and giving away the catch. Mom loved fishing.

The second sport for mom was shopping. Five to six times a year mom took Big Red to Los Angeles. With cash in hand, an early start, a list of needs for our family of 5 and knowledge of “best buys” on sale at her favorite stores, her life was blessed with the action of shopping.

Now, three generations later, we tend to invest our lives in lots of fishing. We fish for stuff. We are born into a world of stuff with marketing techniques designed to catch us. There are sales every moment of every day that draw us into the web of stuff. Stuff that is supposed to give a sense of social security, converts pain into pleasure and the focus on the excitement of getting more stuff. The over abundance of stuff that drains the heart can eventually turn it stone. The soul gets tired, unsatisfied. What’s the romance in collecting stuff?

There comes a time when there’s nothing to get, nothing more to give, your family has so much stuff. Now what? Why do we fish for more stuff? There can be an empty feeling of having only stuff in your net.

Look at the face of the discouraged fisherman. He’s ready to make a change, but to what? What will soften the heart and give fulfillment and purpose to life?

“Tell him to throw the net on the other side of the boat, my 9 year old granddaughter said. That’s what Jesus told Peter.”

Recently a story about fishing caught my attention when it was told that few people really have the passion, patience and enjoyment for fishing. When I reflect on my varied fishing experiences, I agree. Then the speaker told the most famous fishing story, when Peter had fished all night and had caught NO FISH.

Then Jesus gave Peter a fishing lesson that filled two boats in minutes. Peter’s reaction was, “Get away from me, I am a sinner and can’t handle this holiness.” Jesus took away Peter’s fears resulting in a different kind of fishing.

Instead of stuff, fish for life, live for people. There’s no life in stuff, but read people one page at a time. Share and care, and soon the heart turns to flesh and life is really worth living.

Enjoy people, learn to like them, love lavishly and deeply. Your soul will be free and filled.

NO JUDGEMENT, NO ADVICE
JUST EXPERIENCES AND IDEAS

You know how to make good judgment’s and you’re an expert on giving advice. That’s how we grew up. That was the umbrella of life. Make good judgment’s and you’ll do good. Don’t take any advice (except from parents) and you’ll be good. When in doubt, talk to God, even if you don’t really believe He cares.

I once read a ditty that went something like this, “Wisdom comes from experience and experience come from poor judgment.” My life has been a collection of experiences that are unbelievable. Life did not give me a career or professional ladder to climb so as to “be someone doing something.” My life has been doing things and I never became someone.

All my experiences were connecting with people who were good at something. Starting in my “2nd half” of life, I learned that most people are trying to survive on self centered achievements by doing well in a career. Since I wasn’t doing “good” in anything, I hid my insecurity by asking questions that made people feel like they were really special. A question would be asked, followed by an answer, led to the next question, on and on, deeper and deeper. Since I traveled a lot, people would reveal themselves openly on the assumption that we would never connect again. It seems as though the exciting part of their life was living in the shadows and they could only share that part of life to a stranger. Life became “people reading” as my questions became more creative. Reading real flesh was more exciting than reading words that rarely would be alive to give my compass adjustments to happiness.

Now I’m in my last quarter of life. Like any football or basketball game, that’s good until the last quarter, the game really counts in the action of the last quarter. I’ve had a good action- filled life, a blend of blessings and “blastings,” uppers and downers, each adding to my collection of experiences. Upon entering my 4th quarter, there were 4 annual visits to death row at the 5 Star Condell Resort and Care Center (hospital). Now those were Le Grande learning experiences. Four visits, a total of 38 days, some in intensive care, 12 different roommates, some died, others were given another day or days and all were stories in living color.

The last experience lasted 22 days with an infection in my buttocks that was a concern to my cadre of six doctors. It was in that room that I had an experience I’ll never forget. In the middle of the night a patient was bedded between the window and my habitat. The body noises, the traffic of doctors and nurses gave me a feeling that he was going to die. That gets one thinking serious thoughts.

On day 5, my roommate traveled from his bed with the medical tube(s) cane rolling to the John. He was about my age. On his journey back to bed, I softly asked the question, “How ya doin?” He responded, “I think I’m getting better.” Several days passed with the same happening (trip to the John). Professional traffic had reduced and visitor visits increased.

I wanted to read his story. Several more days had passed with signs of strength, so my question, “How ya doin?” with the usual response, “I think I’m getting better.” Next question, “what did you do in life?” “I was a pastor at a Baptist church (close to hospital ) for the last 29 years.” I couldn’t stop “What did you learn?” Then came a surprising response. “I finally learned not to make judgments on anything or give advice to anybody. Now I just share my experiences and my ideas." Those words gave to me “soul” food that has continued to this very day. I wish that I had been more astute and asked personal information so we could continue this quest after his strength returned. I was released and didn’t even get his name.

I used to look for happiness. Dennis Prager, a L.A. talk show host has a story on HAPPINESS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM! It’s clever blending humor and helping about life and how our striving should be for increasing gratefulness. With those words, I came up with, “Share experiences and ideas rather than judging and advising and be grateful for friends.” Like a vacuum cleaner, picking helpful words from scripture, books and friends is adding good food for my soul.

On page 74, a friend and author wrote in his book, Everything That Makes Me Happy I Learned When I Grew Up, “The boundaries that are acquired as we grow and experience relationship with others (people reading) can be clarified and changed. We become more aware of the influence of the past on our feeling self and become more open to growth of the self with newly discovered choices.” Thank you, Ray, for your insight that is helping me to adjust my boundaries for my last quarter where I can experience growth while unpacking for the big trip home where we’ll have eternity to share experiences and ideas with Jesus.

Let’s share experiences and ideas with one another.

NO RESOLUTION TO RESOLVE

Years come fast but it’s the years that leave that go faster. I know and I guarantee that.

Every year we visit and having parties with friends, celebrating life with the family and thinking, which is always a fresh experience. Sometimes thoughts are prompted reading the signs of friends that are in their homes, like books that have been read, art collected, furniture, photos, etc. The little signs hanging in bathrooms have caught the attention last year. One guest bathroom had three bunches of wine grapes in different paintings. Another said, “Family are friends forever.” A friend once told me, Olfar, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. In our bathroom is the sign, “Living with a Swede builds character.”

2006 has come and this is the year that I enter the ninth decade of living a unique life. Everyone lives unique lives and that’s the way it should be. 2006 should be the best year ever as the Friend’s Collection grows with new friends and the Friends Connections is launched with the purpose of enhancing life with friends.

January 1 is usually New Year’s Resolution Day. I’ve probably made seventy separate lists in the past. Lose weight has been on most of the lists. Born a fat boy, attended school as a fat boy and except for the service years, I’ve grown to be a fat (overweight) man. Having failed most resolution lists, I’ve resolved that this is another no resolution year so that failure is reduced. With no resolutions, you can live life without expectations of how the breezes will blow, storms come or when the sun shines.

Living the good life is like sailing. A sailor enjoys the sail, has the eyes looking for a harbor, feels the head, heart with hands on the tiller and can get through the inevitable storms. When you take a voyage with a good sailor, the time is filled with energy and enjoyment. The best sailing is the Paraclete sailing. Look that up in your dictionary. It’s the sailing with no expectations and receiving the best in life.

The best bathroom sign is in my friend Deke’s home. It’s still #1.

Looking back---- Thank Him
Looking ahead---- Trust Him
Looking around----Serve Him
Looking up -------- Expect Him

Thought for the day, “Blend the deepest commitment with a serious mind and a sense of humor.”

Los amigos son un tersoro en la vida.

NOTHING TO GET, NO PLACE TO GO, NOW WHAT?
Doctor Paul Tourneau, a famous Swiss theologian, medical doctor and psychiatrist was asked by a major publisher to write on the subject of growing old since he was a model of having grown old in good style. The essence of his message was that one should strengthen ones faith by investing much time connecting with the Lord thereby giving muscle and energy to ones faith. It was also suggested that one should have projects of good will, that gave reason for getting up in the morning developing an attitude of gratefulness by getting on to a worthy task.

Henri Nouwen, University professor in theology at Notre Dame, then at Yale Divinity School and the last university, Harvard Divinity School. His classes were the first to fill up. He was able to stimulate young minds to think spiritually. The last of his life was given to a community of 200 challenged people, mostly mentally. This era of life resulted in learning deeply about Christ and His love. In Henri’s book, OUR GREATEST GIFT, meditations on death and caring, he presents the same picture of deepening ones faith (like Paul T). In addition he explains that caring is the heart of the fulfilled life and you never end up with no one to care for.

These books have helped in my last quarter of unpacking for the big trip and while waiting, caring for the homeless children and widows in Mexico. We need each other on the journey.

In the 4th quarter of life, it seems that the getting of more stuff slides as storage space becomes more valuable than the stuff collected. I’ve known very few that have little care for stuff. Those that care less are either spirit less or those who care more for those beaten into bitterness. Let’s explain that.

When a person loses all the spirit of life so as to drop into depression that numbs, get to the point of not caring, for anything, even life. Poverty, slavery, old age (doing nothing but waiting for the funeral), can take away ones spirit. People can beat out the spirit of life in another. Losing one’s spirit can strangle hope that excites life, even living for stuff.

Another group collects mountains and mountains of stuff that helps produce the pleasure of collecting. The mountains can produce the image of power and the admiration of others. The flip side is the pain of caring, cleaning, insuring, securing and storing. That can be time consuming and causes distance between the life that live. It’s people, not stuff that gives a life worth living.

The “Now what” can be the time of discovering the life of caring that gives spirit to the day to day happenings. The “Happenings” are people. Life happens in people. Giving, not getting, Maybe you may be asking, what kind of gifts? There are models every where. The best for me are the abandoned children in Mexico. They are skin starved so they touch, their smiles are infectious and they have the blessings to give for they have nothing else. “Blessed are the poor” is God’s economy.

We all need touching in living. To hold and to hug life is better than stuff. Smiles make’s smiles and we all need smiles to lift our spirits. There’s nothing like receiving blessings, the reason for living in the arms of the same God, who holds the poor, abandoned children in Mexico.

Life is holy. Life is precious. Life is worthy. Life is lovely in the sharing of blessings and in caring.

Life is so daily and it’s the time to give our greatest gift, that of caring.

THE PARABLE OF THE CANDLE

One Sunday, on a visit to Bergen, Norway, I drifted from the family, did what is natural, went to church. I had learned that the Bergen Domkirke had a 9:30, English Lutheran Liturgi, service. It was a dreary, rainy day, a day for the family to catch up on their “jet lag.” It was a short taxi ride to a fresh worship experience.

The robed minister welcomed everyone individually with warm English greetings. I learned that he was a retired minister from northwestern Wisconsin who took an opportunity to make his wife grateful by moving to Bergen (her homeland) and give his remaining days in serving the church in a unique way. Also, Bergen is a charming seaport that at one time was the capital of Norway. A tourist must.

The main cathedral is beautiful. The church founded in the 13th century, had been through six fires and had a history of bishops and leaders who kept the church their ongoing place of worship. The English service was held in the chapel, a charming setting for a small group of worshipers. Familiar hymns, no announcements, no offering (state supported) but loaded with prayers and responsive readings. This was surely a familiar service for Lutherans. The sermon was very good (it had to be for me to remember it after 2 months). The first point; “we are surrounded by the Holy Trinity and that’s wonderful.” Now this is language that I have not been brought up to enjoy. His sermon points:
• Facts about God and His presence with us.
• How Jesus who died for our sins in love, is worthy of our worship.
• Holy Spirit was amongst us to guide the worship to the Holy Trinity.
• Next point was to keep the message of our life simple using God’s love because that’s the language everyone understands.
• The last point was for us to examine our lives for any un-confessed sin so as to be fit for Kingdom Building.

This church, like the churches we visited in five countries, all use candles. We don’t.
I started to think about why this church used candles as stated in their history.
So I paraphrased their parable of the candle for my thoughts.

THE PARABLE OF THE CANDLE

The candle gives light so people can see---------------- ----not me but thee o Lord.
The candle gives warmth for people who need------------- the Lord’s care, for me to give.
The candle gives an aroma of desire for love---------------from you Lord, to share.
Give me the “candle life” that gives ----------------------- - until my light goes out.

"The spirit of a man is the candle of the Lord". Proverbs

PARADISE? YES!

There are some creations that are outstanding! Majestic mountains that are snow capped, lakes that are calm, forests blended with beaches with skies that are unpredictable. There are many places to treasure, to enjoy, and to remember. A place to sail quietly, peacefully, and yet we become aware of the possibilities of change that weather and circumstances can give to the journey.

We call the sailboat “PARACLETE.” (a word found in Webster) which means, “MOVED BY THE SPIRIT.” The image is one that lets us know that we are alone in life to make choices, like, to sail or not, to explore or stand still, to have hands on or off (life’s rudder).

• Life is a precious gift, not a game, nor chance, is not predicable. Life is a mix of
pleasure’s, pain, adversity and success (whatever that is).

Enhance life! Increase your pleasure! Be blessed by faith, family, friends, fun and focus that which gives purpose to life.

• Be sure to keep love in focus on your journey, in your “PARACLETE.”

• Love never quits.

• Love cares for others (more than self).

• Love does not covet things.

• Love is never a buffoon.

Never big headed Never be overly aggressive

Isn’t first in line Has soft reactions

Doesn’t keep score of other’s faults, cares when others are down

Doesn’t flower truth Puts up with anything

Always looks for the positive Never looks back

Keeps going Trusts God all the time

There are three things of ultimate importance: With faith, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love, sweet love.

PARTIES IN SAN FRANSICO

It was Tony Bennett that crooned about San Francisco in the 40’s and beyond. If you’ve been there, the words stimulate fond memories of visits including Fisherman’s Wharf, Union Square, Pebble Beach, Carmel, Lake Tahoe, The Wine country, Sausalito, the Redwoods and much more. My first visit was to the World’s Fair on Treasure Island in 1932. My last was in 2006, with many in between. Almost all of my memories are superb. But the best memory was this year’s trek because of friends.

With the experiences in life collecting friends, friends have become the treasures of life and living.

Stuff is OK. We have stuff. But the richer life is not in collecting stuff, it’s in connecting with friends plus giving more time to family (grandchildren).

In trying to end each day a little less crazy than the day before, I think about family and friends in the middle of the night, right after the first TBP (tired bladder) call and before final prayers. With the good thoughts having been collected in the brain, the morning starts with the day doing. Each day is a gift for doing.

Why was this SF trip soooo wonderful? It was exquisite because of the seven parties with friends in four days, from two to five hours. Each gathering was different and lively from every perspective. It was a collection of conversations and thoughts in pleasant atmospheres. I was woven into a colorful fabric with friends that for 25 to 50 years have been living connections.

Each party started with catch up talk. Food was the focus until I would ask, “What are the three turning points in your life/” The answers were fascinating because stuff wasn’t included. The turning points were about action and people in their lives. I would conclude by sharing my turning points. First was the story about when Joan got polio. We had 3 children (ages 1, 2 and 3). The memory of the day I drove Joan in a Plymouth station wagon (Joan laying down) 60 miles to the Los Angeles County Hospital’s polio ward was etched in my mind forever. It was tough times. Second turning point was the action in moving from Orange County, California (as a developer) to Deerfield, Illinois to become the chief beggar at Trinity College. Third, was failure (from my perspective) of my ultimate dream project called, Washington Village. The healing of the scars took 10 years. The final healing (letting go) has taken place by focusing on a life of meaning.

Since the age of 75, my heart has been softened to the plight of our neighbors children, especially the abandoned. I shared some ideas about doing something as an old man running out of gas. Using the farming metaphor, it was a time of plowing and planting the cause with friends. I retired each night in the comfort of acceptance of friends to my heart’s desire. The essence is to give books on living, individually and personally to abandoned children in Mexico without starting an organization. The idea is friends doing what they can to give to those who are caring for children in love. They need gifts that give opportunities for life.

Now entering the 9th decade, the memories of friends in San Francisco are very alive and vivid as I relax on a path of doing what can be done if it’s supposed to be done. Children are the hope towards peace

Thank you, my treasured friends. Ideas are warmly welcomed.

PIECE- PEACE

Usually before I write, I’ll look to Webster for definitions of the main words in my stories. These two words have been in my brain as puzzles. I would like to make sense of the title of this, my story (that few will read). Now to Webster’s definition of the word piece:

• A thing regarded as a unit or element of a larger quantity or class.

• A part separated or broken off from a whole.

• An object that is a member of one group or class.

• An artistic, literary, or musical work or composition.

• An instance.

• One’s fully expressed opinion.

Then there are definitions for assembling pieces, piece de resistance, piece goods, piece-meal, piece-work and piece worker. “It’s a piece of cake is popular.” The big one is, “I’m going to pieces.”

A gorgeous lady will implant in men’s minds, “she’s really a piece of work, some of God’s finest architecture.” A numb-numb gets the opposite view, “what a piece of work.”

We are all pieces of work, uniquely crafted and in life we become like a jigsaw puzzle, hard for many of us to put all the pieces together. At the same time, I know I’m still trying to fit in with other “people puzzles.” I usually try to fit in with kindred spirited friends where my “piece of mind” is acceptable. I become like an object or element that fits as a member of one group or class.

We’ve all been hurt when a piece breaks off from the group for whatever reason. Some times it’s a move, or differing opinions. At times it is brutal when sides are formed and a war begins, then it ends in pieces breaking off.

Families and sometimes churches experience a phase of breaking pieces out of healthy relationships. “We divide so we can grow” is a concept I don’t understand about people, only germs, etc. I don’t understand how that merges with the word peace.

The word piece seems factual to me. The word peace is a feeling word like love. Facts one doesn’t always know but feelings of peace and/or love you know. Peace and love are in and out feelings. At times I feel loved even though I don’t deserve love. There are times when I feel at peace in turmoil and anxieties, which are marvelous feelings.

The old hymn, “Peace, Peace, Wonderful Peace I’ve paraphrased to Piece, Pease, Wonderful Peace, Coming Down From The Father Above .

Dr. William Barclay made this statement, “There can be no peace-making in the wrong atmosphere. If men come together to hate, they will hate. If men come together to refuse to understand, they will misunderstand. If men come together to see no other point of view but their own, they will see no other. But if men come together, loving Christ and seeking to love each other, even those most widely separated can come together in love.”

At the last meeting Christ had with his chosen men, he said, “I no longer call you servants but now you are my friends.” They went in peace and I think it was the first Friends Forum who went and did incredible good, in Spirit-led peace. They were blessed according to Matthew’s statement, “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

The purpose of any Friends Collection is to pursue the things that make for peace and the building up of one another. The focus is helping put pieces together for and with people that God has created, so we can serve and do good so that our light shines.

Not a religious journey, but spiritual experiences help with the pieces in serving, resulting in peace that passes understanding. What a trip that will be. Friend’s Collection and Friends Connection of Caring Action is a way.

OLFAR

PILLS FOR AGING WELL

• Hold on to hope because it is the power of being cheerful in situations that are terrible.
• Never let go of hope…each winter passes and the flowers of spring emerge with color.
• There is one thing that gives radiance to life because of the thought of hope.
• There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless.
• Life, at times has dark moments in crises…but morning comes…..Keep hope alive.
• There are disappointments in life but never lose hope.. Great hope makes great men.
• Action may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.

IT’S UP TO YOU
If you think you are a winner you will win,
If you dare to step out you’ll succeed.
Believe in your heart, have a purpose to start,
Aim to help fellow man in need.
Thoughts of faith must replace every doubt,
Word’s of courage and you cannot fail.
If you stumble and fall, rise and stand tall.
You determine the course that you sail.
Anonymous

• Look at your life as a beautiful fabric woven by wonderful friends. Friends are weavers.
• Things are possible until they are proved impossible-and even the impossible may not be so.
• If you don’t like the world is, you change it. You just do it one step at a time.
• Never give up except to convictions of honor and good sense.
• To endure is greater than to dare; to keep heart when all have lost it.
• Each time you stand for an ideal, acts to improve the lot of others, ripples of energy happen.
• Ann Frank said, “Those who have courage and faith will never perish in misery!
• Be strong and of good courage: be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou go-est.. Joshua 1:9
• If suffering went out of life, courage, tenderness, pity, faith, patience and love in it’s divinity would go out of life too. Father Andrew
• Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”
• It isn’t living that matters! It’s courage and aliveness you bring to it.

BELIEVE

Believe you can, and you can.
Believe is one the most powerful of all
problem solvers. When you believe that a
difficulty can be overcome, you are more
than halfway to victory over it already.
Norman Vincent Peale

• As I learn to accept myself as I am, I get ideas and see opportunities and feel free to move.
• In everyone there‘s something precious, found in no one else; honor each man. Hasidic saying
• I’m trying to be me more and more because of God’s grace, I’m my most important asset.
• Love life and all you do. Make it a joy to be alive and doing the best we can.

• Most of us have been given many more blessings than we give. We do not take the time or make the space to bless or be blessed. We may have filled our lives so full of other things that we have no room to give or receive blessings.
• Prayer is about our relationship with God; a blessing is about our relationship to the spark of God in one another.
• A blessing is not something that one person gives another. A blessing is a moment of meaning, a certain kind of relationship in which both people involved remember and acknowledge their true sense of worth, and strengthen what is whole in one another.
• Those who bless and serve life find a place of belonging and strength, a refuge from living in ways that are meaningless and empty and lonely.
• Without compassion, the world can’t continue. Our compassion blesses and sustains the world.
• Remembering how to bless each other is more important than ever before.
• Successful aging means giving to others joyously whenever one is able to, receiving from others gracefully when ever one needs it, and developing ones own life in between.
• A test of successful living becomes learning to live with neither too much desire and adventure nor too much caution and self care.
• Altruism is doing for others what they need, not what you want to do for them.
• It is good to care for others and still have the ability to see the goodness in others without ever losing sight of reality.
• Long, happy marriages have a lot in common with successful aging. They are hard work. Both require a healthy dose of tolerance, commitment, maturity, and a sense of humor.
• To grow old successfully one must learn from the next generation such as being resilient, warm, loving, vulnerable, playful, idealism, generosity of spirit, and intimate .
• Tolstoy wrote, “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow; but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them…Grief never kills.
• Feodor Dostoevsky wrote, “Love will teach us all things, but we must learn how to win love. It’s got with difficulty: it is a possession of dearly bought with much labor and time, for one must love not sometimes only but always. And let not men’s sin dishearten thee: love a man even in his sin, for that love is a likeness of the divine love, and is the summit of love on earth.
• Charles Dickens, “A loving heart is the truest wisdom.”
• Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. Chinese proverb
• “To bring up a child and grand child in the way they should go travel that way yourself once in a while.” Josh Billings
• “There is no greater reward for a well spent life than to see one’s children well-started in life, fixed character, good breading, and in general the whole outfit, that enables them to fight the battle of life with success.” William Graham Sumner
• True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends but in real friends: when you’ve made a fool your friend doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
• I feel that the better part of one’s life consists of ones friendships and that the great privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
• “It is one of the blessings of friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
William Waldo Emerson
• “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you. Dale Carnegie
• Friendships grow when we forget what one gives, and remembering what one receives.
• It is a good thing to be strong, but it is a better thing to be loved by many friends Euripides 485 BC
• “I suspect that the happiest people you know are the ones who work at being kind, helpful and reliable-happiness sneaks into their lives, while they are busy doing things. Rabbi Harold S. Kushner

OLFAR
2005

THE PATH FROM PITY PARTIES TO PLEASURE

“Do you realize how shabby, flabby your equipment is?” This was said by a 60 year old friend who lives in a 20 year old body. “It’s about mileage and maintaining!” He meant miles jogging, cycling and nutritional counting. A focus on counting is not my style because of FAD (focus attention disorder).

Like most people, the search in life has been for a painless life, with profitable and pleasurable experiences. No one seeks pain. All desire to live a life of happiness. It’s about shear, painless pleasure.

Pain has entered life and there is hurt all the time. Spinal stenosis is the cause. It’s like living with a dagger in your back and it can’t be pulled out. Medication helps by adding 180 more pills monthly to the 600 all ready on the menu. The pain is changing the sleep pattern because there’s no comfort sleeping with the dagger. This is bad news. Since we are all on a path and don’t want being stalled in pain, the drama for me is to regain and improve the pleasure of living life one day at a time. The start is a giant “Pity Party.” It’s bottom to top adventure.

Job had pity parties with friends. Each encounter was filled with advice. “Organ Recitals” become boring, even for the person in pain. Only God knows what kind of pain, who will become afflicted, or how much, how long. Job is a good model to learn from.

There is poverty in pain. Nothing has value, only restoration. It wouldn’t surprise me that most agnostics start to think about the Creator when in absolute, desolate pain. Only the pained one is seeking relief. Total poverty of the soul comes in absolute pain. Real poverty is pain related.

What’s the profit in pain? It’s a time when we start asking the big questions like: What’s causing, where’s the relief, who can help, is there any hope, what’s the cost, what are alternatives, etc. Only God knows and he doesn’t tell us. The profit is in realizing that God is God and life is in his hands.

When we connect with God, His love envelopes our soul and relief starts with love. The real directions take place. It’s the road to authentic purity.

The purpose of life is not collecting stuff and experiences. The marvelous life is collecting friends and doing good. There’s nothing like the connectedness of true friends that carry love to the people God has created. That’s doing what He made people for. To love and be loved in whatever we do.

As Tolstoy wrote, “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow (pain); but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract the grief and heals them…. Grief (pain) never kills.” Thus, when we are old, our lives become the sum of all whom we have loved. It is important not to waste anyone. One task of living out the last part of life is excavating and recovering all of those whom we loved in the first part. Thus, the recovery of lost loves becomes an important way in which the past affects the present.

Love, joy, laughter, excitement all need to be harnessed and in their proper place. Pain is reduced as friends love one another and we take the focus on self to the pained of the world, starting with neighbors.

That’s the path to real pleasure.

Psalm 32:8

POSERS

The world is a combination of whiners and posers. We all know what a whiner is and we probably know quite a few. Posers are on the other end of the spectrum.

Webster says a poser is to pretend to be other than what one is. The people who claim “Everything is great, life is beautiful, my neighbors—sure their lovely and I love them, I feel great, nary a problem, family is beautiful, things have never been better.” These people are in the work place, families, parties, they are everywhere.

The same sounds, only spiritually said, goes on Sunday mornings, it’s just a different set of rules.

We connect in church all wearing happy faces, though few are really joyful.

“Hey Richard, how are ya?” Richard is actually furious at his wife and has thoughts about leaving her, at least for a while to cool off (on a business trip). But he says, “Great, just great, Joe, the Lord is good!” Joe, on the other hand, hasn’t believed in the goodness of God for years, ever since his children have strayed and are not connected to him. “Yep, God is good, all the time. I’m just glad to be here, praising the Lord.” “Me too. Well, I’ll be praying for you.”

It would be amazing to have God’s view of the number of prayers actually prayed against the number of prayers promised. It could be one in a thousand, or more. “And I’ll be praying for you too. Well gotta go! Take care.” “Take care is our way of saying, “I’m done with this conversation and I want to get out of here but I don’t want to appear rude so I’ll say something that sounds meaningful and caring,” but in truth Richard doesn’t give a rip about Joe.

It’s about being friendly rather than friends. Jesus said to his disciples, “I no longer call you servants, but friends (John 15:15).” They left Jesus in freedom to be who they were. No money, donors list, constitution, formula, but free to do the will (individually) of the Father. No whining, no pretending, but doing, as a friend of Jesus.

Socrates once asked a simple old man what he was most thankful for. The man replied, “That being such as I am, I have the friends that I have had.” Webster’s definition of a friend is one you can trust and have a common cause. Paul says, “a friend is one who knows you and still loves you.” Jesus teaches that we can be free to be friends and love one another without whining or posing.

What a friend we have in Jesus.

PRESS, PRESS, PRESS, PRESS, PRESS, PRESS,
PRESS, PRESS, PRESS, PRESS!!

Maybe you don’t have a problem with the humanoid automatic answering systems that have become cost savings with this advanced technology.

Recently, I called Living, Loving, Lighthouse at (512) 266-6000 and got THE MACHINE. A pleasant voice started the options like “for the latest news, please press #1 now,” so I did. I listened only to find out that the news was not current but 3 months mold.

So I tried again. Same VOICE, same instructions. # 2 gave the title of the next Sunday’s sermon. #3, told who was preaching. #4 asked what my gripe was. So I pressed #4. The voice asked if I had prayed about my gripe. If you have, press #1 or if you haven’t, press #2. I pressed #2. The VOICE came back with, is it a major gripe that you are loosing sleep, press#1, if you want to talk to some one, press#2. I pressed #2. The VOICE said if you want to the senior pastor, press #1, if you will settle for the associate, press#2. I pressed #2 and got his voice mail that explained that he was on vacation and I should return to menu. I went back to #1 and then proceeded through #2, 3, and 4.

I started to tense up but I continued and pressed #5. The VOICE , said that if I wanted to know what the offering for last week was, press#1, press#2 if you wanted information on how much below budget the contributions were, or press#3 if you want information about how much the giving would have to increase percentage wise in order for the expenses could be met, like salaries. I didn’t want to know so I pressed on.

Now I’m half way through the numbers, so I pressed on. #6, was the report on the current number of members and the decline with several reasons supporting the facts. #7 was a request for volunteers to sign up for at least 2 Saturdays in the summer for the annual church cleaning. Since there were many no shows for the spring cleaning, there was a sound of desperation in the man’s voice.

I was challenged to “hearing it all.” #8 the VOICE gave the date and reason for the next church potluck dinner. The reason was rather vague, but that’s OK. #9 the list of extension numbers of the staff, phone numbers of the elders, trustees and committee chairpersons. This would repeat so one could catch and write record the desired extension number.

Finally #10. It was the scripture verse of the day. “Let your light shine before men so that they can see your good works.” Amen and amen.

PS Please don’t call this number again, we are very busy. Try another place of worship.

Our culture is moving towards humanoids and robots at a mind boggling pace. At my age it’s difficult to stay in the race. The pace in my race is crucial in keeping life balanced.

RADICAL FRIEND

After age 75, I started writing OLFARS DROPPINGS. They are stories that are about memories, or musings, manure and some are meditations or soul medication. One such story was ABSOLUTE FRIEND’S by John LeCarre who looked mad in a picture with an article in Time magazine that was announcing his latest book. Not a reader of novels, I asked my reader son about this John. My son said, “John LeCarre is a writers writer and he’s a mystery, spy, liberal master wordsmith.”After reading Webster’s definition of the word absolute, which is, #1, Perfect in nature and quality. #2, Not mixed: pure. #3, Not limited by restrictions or exceptions: unconditional (absolute freedom) #4, Not limited by constitutional provisions or other restraints. #5, unrelated and independent of anything else. #6, not to be doubted: positive. Now I’m ready to read with a purpose: What is an absolute friend? On page 249 it appears that the friendship of Sasha and Mundy (main characters) is described as “A well attested relationship and an intense companionship.”

This is a very creative book that has quotable quotes: “Society (s), cultures are choking on greed. “Man is thirsting for life. “There’s no tomorrow like yesterday.” There is a thread of “madness” that runs through the book woven with “foul street language” which I assume is part of the culture of those radicals reaching for change to purity and total peace by the use of terrorism and other radical means. This book is about wild terrorism. The top of page 424 (near the end) turned my crank. “What would it be really and absolutely to believe.” To know, and absolutely know that there’s a Divine Being not set in time or space who reads your thoughts better than you ever did, and probably before you even had them? To believe that God sends you to war, God bends the path of bullets, decides which of His children will die, or have their legs blown off, or make a few hundred million on Wall Street, depending on today’s Grand Designs?” I don’t have scientific answers, but with all my heart I believe! This may be considered radical and that’s OK.
The end of the story was a request to get expressions of meanings of the word absolute friend.
From a Gulf War vet: “Only God can be absolute.” To me an absolute friend would die for me.”
Others: “One who is trustworthy.” “One who is level with you, never changes.” “It’s impossible to have an absolute friend because of our flawed nature. Eventually there’s a crack that hurts.”
Paul M. “One who really knows you and loves you anyway.” The Olsons: “A friend is one you can be absent from for a period of time, months, years and you can sit and pick up where you left off as if it was yesterday.” Paul P: “True or absolute friend---is someone who forgives. It is easy for me to offend, and some, when offended, will walk away from the relationship. But those who forgive build a bond. Strangely we trust each other, to never fail, but to forgive again.”
Jodi: “I have several friends I would call absolute in that they are friends simply for the friendship we share without motive for gaining anything. They accept me with all my faults and expect the same from me regarding them, so they are free to be themselves and so am I.”

Dan A. is my radical friend and this is what he sent to me. “I guess for me it’s about being. TOTAL, UNFLAGGING, WITHOUT QUESTION. I guess an absolute friend could say:
LISTEN…. I AM YOUR FRIEND. PERIOD. THAT’S IT. END OF STORY. FRIEND!
NOTHING YOU CAN BE OR DO OR NOT DO OR BE THAT MATTERS. IT’S MY FULL AND NON-REVERSIBLE AND INCORRUPTIBLE GIFT TO YOU. I AM YOUR FRIEND!” That’s radical and Dan is an absolute radical friend I wish you could meet.

RELAXING WITH THE RELICS

When one gets to the age of the late seventies, or early 80’s, the hue changes. There’s no more paragon’s, patterns or models of excellence or perfection. The flaws become more distinctive, Life becomes tired and the mound of troubles becomes more visible. Relics, humanly speaking can become forces of rage as the coffin comes closer. Old life can become a cheerless picture of hopelessness. There are days when I slide in that direction and usually they are times of being self centered. Focusing on failures, flaws and negative feelings becomes the sinkhole of despair and hopelessness.

One of my patterns of each month (but not usually pleasures) is to go to the VA hospital in North Chicago to receive a monthly check on my blood, etc. so I stay qualified to receive medication from the VA at a considerable savings. Since I take 12 different pills, the savings is marvelous. This is one of my benefits from serving in WWII in the Army Air Corp and then in the Korean War in the Air Force. I never took a pill while serving but now 60 years later I rejoice because I’m alive to take them.

The downer side of each visit is to see many service relics with all kinds of physical problems living in the VA hospital with incredible restrictions including mobility. The place is clean and the people serving lives are kind and caring and many times not receiving warmth that they deserve.

Visibly, I’m OK, most are not. I’m starting to relax in the atmosphere of hurting people by being grateful for my life with faith, family, friends and the elements of a good life. Then I try to connect with non- threatening or arrogant questions. I want to be their friend for the moment by reading their book (life) of stories. I find that most everyone wants to be read.

Life reading is becoming a way of living that offers so much in benefits, like friendship, even just for a moment. Webster’s definition of a friend is “one you can trust and where there is a common cause.” Moment friend’s can trust each other for a moment (even with lies) and the cause is to encourage each other that life is holy and precious even in pain, that family and friends are important (if there is people in their picture). Moment friends can share in the recognition that the VA family that are care and love givers are truly a blessing. We need to be reminded to remember and be grateful for our circle of friends and share each moment together in an atmosphere of encouragement.

What does the word moment mean? Webster says, “a brief indefinite interval of time, a particular period of importance, outstanding significance or value.” That fits the concept of Moment Friends. It’s attitudes of friendship coming together, excitements of discovery, the giving of life, the receiving, the adding to the day, the opportunities of learning, sharing, caring that results in a moment of gladness.

Life has “Blastings” but Moment Friends can be a Blessing as they add color to the day.

RITUALS TO RITUAL

Dr. Webster defines the word rituals; 1.The prescribed form or order of conducting a religious or solemn ceremony. 2. A body of ceremonies, or rites, as those used in a church or fraternal organization. In recent years I have gathered more questions than answers regarding rituals. Let me share a trip to rituals that I title, RITUALS, FROM MAYHEM TO THE MODEL.

Men enjoy small group gatherings with friends who have a common interest such as golf, fishing, playing cards (gambling) and/or sporting events. Now these events are not rituals, but just times of fun. I learned about a man’s fun time combined with a ritual that is wild.

The start of the story takes place in an upscale, mid-western village Rotarian gathering. For many years, four of the members would go on a combination fishing fun experience that would be considered first class and the envy of most middle-aged fishermen. They always returned with more bags of stories than fish because the fellowship became more fun than fishing, especially in lousy weather.

One of the trips was threatened to be cancelled because one member had a major priority that took him out of the event for that year. Not wanting to break the streak of great fun, the 3 men decided to ask a friend who could be a fill in substitute for the next great adventure. The substitute friend (I’ll call Abram) was approached with all kinds of promises and concessions to join the fun fishermen, especially for the evenings in the larger than large motor home for men’s cooking, drinking and cards to the wee hours. It would be a real man’s fun time.

For 3 months, at the weekly Rotary luncheon, the 3 “wanting’s” would sit with the “wanted” and share stories designed to entice Abram to a commitment so final plans could come together. Finally, “OK, I’ll go, but with one caveat.” “What?” Abram shared his reluctance to commit because one of the days would be a holy day and he needed to perform a special “holy ceremony.” The 3 were elated and said, “That’s OK!” So now plans could be completed and enthusiasm started building.

On the chosen day, at 4 AM, the men gathered to load the “5 day rolling home” with food, fishing gear, booze and clothing essentials. Abram finally showed up with a white chicken in a small cage. Asked, “What’s that all about?” “Well, you said it was OK to have my holy day, ritual and the chicken is part of the ceremony. So the caged chicken went on board.

The first day was spent travelling 500 miles to the “best fishing spot” in mid America. After set up, the men enjoyed the first home, cooking, cocktails and evening of poker mixed with laughter and lies steeped in bygone days. Day 2 was time for serious fishing so with 2 to a boat the day of shivering didn’t yield much fresh fish, just enough for dinner, followed by another night of fun and farting. Day 3 was a repeat. Day 4 was warmer with fish jumping into the boat. As you can imagine, the cocktail hour was long, dinner heavy and the card games filled with boasting and bluffing in celebration of another “men’s success story” to be told over and over especially to fellow Rotarians.

At 12:01 AM on day 5, down comes the cage and out comes the chicken. The men were startled and dazed as Abram, holding the chicken by the neck with one hand and stroking the head tenderly with the other, closed his eyes, tilted his head upward and started to speak in an unknown tongue; “noona, joba, caca, lena, lopa, hopa, neena, nora”----on and on. The men sat quietly wondering if what they were witnessing was reality. Suddenly, Abram whips out a knife and cuts the chicken’s head off and offers it to the men. There were no takers. So with that, Abram lets the chicken go. If you’ve ever seen the action and blood spattering of a headless chicken you’ll understand the chaos. Abram with a smile spent the early morning hours cleaning the mess. What a ritual! It impacted the men in the home away from home on the last day and the last trip for Abram. Crazy!

Christian rituals today range in liturgical style, Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran, Episcopal, Presbyterian, Methodist, Congregational, Brethren, Baptist (many varieties), Pentecostal, Assemblies, non denominational, etc. We have a massive variety of worship menus. Many people start from the cradle and rarely have experienced the varieties of rituals of worship.

Occasionally, the questions are raised like; which is right, why so many different ways of worship, will the varieties continue expand, is cross ritualizing OK, etc.? I don’t know, I only ask questions. Only God knows. What I do know is the 1st model to consider.

MODEL RITUAL

• There is learning.

• There is fellowship.

• There is praying.

• It is reverent.

• Things happen.

• A place of sharing.

• There is worshipping.

• It is a happy place.

• It is a Church whose people others could not help liking.

Dr. Luke shares this model with us in the Acts of the Apostles, chapter 2: 42-47.
As we worship together, let’s be part of the happening towards model #1.

AGING WELL
IS LIKE GOOD
SAILING

Sailing is a total life endeavor. It’s trying to keep our eyes on the harbor and horizon, one hand on the tiller, the other tending the sail and the whole body sensitive to the weather and wind. My friends who sail are risk takers and adventurous when sailing. Learning is very much of the process when sailing is added to life. A good sail will add joy to living. There’s no such thing as a bad sail----unless the boat is towed to safety.

Learning “Life Sailing” has come late for me. Power boating is a metaphor for living the first three-quarters of my life. The bigger the boat, the stronger you feel. Giving plenty of gas to a bigger engine gets you anywhere in shorter time. A big, colorful, faster boat draws attention at the club, and that was important.

Learning that no one controls anything in reality is hard. So soul sailing has become an excellent, adventuresome and a purpose filled life with the head, heart and hands sailing in the PARACLETE. Doctor Webster describes sailing in the PARACLETE as being MOVED BY THE SPIRIT. That takes whole body sensitivity in learning to sail/age well.

Not every day is smooth sailing.

SAILING IN THE HEAT OF LIFE

Remembering sermons is difficult. The last one I remember is Dan’s sermon titled Why Am I Here ? (church). The metaphor was that we’re in construction. Dan uses metaphors and that helps me in my sailing. Another sermon that I remember (and there’s not too many) I heard at University Presbyterian in Berkeley, California given by Dr. Earl Palmer. It was one sermon I’ll not forget. The essence, “There’re two things you absolutely know about your neighbor, friend, the person that’s in road rage driving next to you, your colleague, boss, teacher, in other words any person in your sphere. The first is that they have just come out of crisis, in crisis, will be in crisis or all three phases. Crises defined as disease, death, divorce, relationship destroyed, cash disaster, poor decisions, etc. in the circle of family and friends. The second thing you can absolutely know is: God loves each person in any situation, unconditionally.” I won’t forget.

Henri Nouwen wrote in his book, Our Greatest Gift, (meditations on death and caring), is that the ability to care for one another in our collection of connections is our highest, purist, fulfilling, and energizing dimension of our sailing journey. Caring about giving care, as gifts, is our quest.

SAYING GOODBYE IS HARD TO DO

Chicago Tribune, Monday, November 10, 2003, those words were the lead in the business section. They were the first words read in my day and they moved my spirit. The article was for entrepreneurs to be challenged to plan their exit route when starting up a business. I’m a starter. I’ve started businesses, helped others to start, start programs, projects and I never thought about the exit route.

The older I get, the less I know, but what I do know, I know more clearly. Now this idea is a good one for me to do, plan the exit. The challenge is to plan the exit of doing giclees, abstracts, writing stories, caring for the poorest of the poor of our neighbor’s children. Having passed the 80 bench mark, I think (in the middle of the night with total darkness and quiet) about the point of living, loving, laughing, learning and then when and how to say goodbye. Last night, I got my final title and story to write. It will be, DANCE AND DREAM NO MORE.

The essence will be about a life of dancing and dreaming, the damage (I regret) and the delights of life for which I’m grateful. My family thinks I’m losing it and some of my friends think that I’m weird, and I agree. Aren’t we all a little weird with our quirks that we’ve gathered? Aren’t we all losing life one day after another?

LEARNING OPPORTUNITY
Tribune principles of the exiting article
Paraphrased

Identify your vision for the future. Decide what you want your life to look like when you’re ready (or taken) to leave. Create a picture with words. Be specific. How would you like to exit? Document your living processes. Identify your inputs, actions and outputs of each element of your life. Identify how all your processes fit together to make up your lifestyle. Create a system for quality control.
1. Define the real desires for your living lifestyle and patterns. Create your desires and paths of change. Develop procedures that identify when action is needed to stay on the course of desires and how it is accomplished.
2. Make your life depend on process, not people. People can come and go, but your processes will work effectively as long as you have key inputs, actions and outputs. This helps your living no matter who is around to pressure.
3. Practice openness. Inform your family, friends and contacts of your dreams, hopes and goals. Involve them in creating the success of your exit. Let them know how their piece of pie fits the whole and listen to their feedback.

Those who know me know that I’m not a formula person. My procedure has been to fly it (even without lessons or a model) and if it flops, fly something else. I’ve a blend of scars and stars and I don’t want any more scars (if possible). This exit plan seems OK. My exit is a combination of stuff to leave as a legacy to the more than 300 people by the end of this century with my DNA droppings. Doing visuals, art, words and loving Mexican poor and abandoned children. My exit plan is to design the last day (Dance and Dream No More) and fill each day from that point to today planting seeds of faith with the efforts of my heart, head and hands, to the glory of God and the joy of family and friends.

SCUFFS, SCABS, SCARS, SO WHAT?

Take a look in the rear view window of life, look out to the sides, or look forward intensely through the windshield. Usually it’s the same old road. Not always satisfying the soul. Action, action! Action and energy is where it’s at..

An alternative is to take a pause from the road, rest, then ask the basics. Why am I on this road? Is there other path’s that may be a better way of living life? Why did God make me? What does he want me to do? Do I really give a rip? The current road ahead is predictable and easy. It is blending pleasure and pain, mountains and valleys, sunshine and storms. I’m on this road that I know and have to keep going. The simple way is the best way..

LOOK AT THESE OTHER LIFE STYLE PERSPECTIVES

• The success road. One’s success is measured by the thickness of the wallet, bank balances, collections, stuff, experiences, home, car, etc. What others see, feel, want, wishes for, and compete for. On and on.

• The significant road is the reaching for the applause and approval of mankind. One can be significant but not necessarily wealthy or wise. Enjoying the arena of people stimulated by ones action.

• The something road is the one that man was created for. The doing of something that is a unique task that is God’s challenge so your life is doing His will for His purpose, with joy, helping and giving to others.

REMEMBER THIS AS GOD’S ECONOMICS

• Simple-secure 1x0=0
• Success-wallet 1+0=1
• Significance-man 1x1=1
• Something-God’s way 1+God=eternal fulfillment

SEE SEEDS

Paris is the second best city for me to visit, spring or fall. The last time I’ll see Paris will be in the fall on the way to Luxembourg. Our absolute friends, Prince Paul, Lady McBeth and family, settled in Lux last year to start a place of worship by planting seeds of faith, nurturing needs and worship, adding to the church culture of a place that changes automatically. We’ll enjoy seeing how the planting of faith seeds are sprouting.

The 3 different places of different worship cultures in Paris is obviously led by Notre Dame, probably the most visited church in the world by tourists and followers of faith. It’s grand architecture, location, size, art, history, unique places where the mass is held, lit candles, and the number of worshipers that it can hold gives it a place of stature.

In the 80’s, I was in Paris on Easter and worshipped outside Notre Dame with 1,000’s of people from all over the world being led by Catholic Dignitaries from many countries. They were on an elevated platform so we all could see as we stood shoulder to shoulder, to worship the same God and celebrating Jesus as we shouted in unison, “HE IS RISEN, HE IS RISEN IN DEED” each in our mother tongue. It was a great emotional experience.

On another visit to Paris, Joan and I not being Catholic, and desiring to go to a Church on a Sunday, found the American Church located on the Quay. I’ll not forget the entrance of hospitality, first by a warm greeting by a lady who then took us to a crippled man. His ministry was to register our attendance and answer questions. It was the best greeting I’ve ever received in a church. The style of worship was Presbyterian, the sermon was challenging and the atmosphere was American and pleasant.

On a trip with 14 of our family to Paris, where we stayed at the family famous Hotel Malar, (many horror stories) we wanted to visit the Gare Museum as one of our “must do in Paris visits.” We walked by the Anglican Church that was beautiful. I took a picture and upon returning I painted the church giclee style with a message of the THREE DIFFERENT SEED GARDENS IN PARIS. Three different styles where people with seeds of faith could worship and their souls will be nourished. Prince Paul has the painting to remind him about planting seeds and nourishing souls and above all worshiping our savior.

The Bible has 84 references to seeds. I’ve selected some helpful ones for me:
• God said, “I’ll give you every seed bearing plant. They will be yours for food.
• As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest will never cease.
• You will sow much seed, but harvest little.
• He who carries seeds to sow, will return with songs of joy.
• The kingdom of heaven is like a good man who sowed good seed in his field.
• Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows.
• The seed is the word of God. God makes it grow.

As for me, and our house, scattering seeds of our faith brings blessings and happiness. No sweat, no worry, no tramping, no harvesting, no applause, just planting. Most of the time seeds of faith are planted as people read the fruits of our spirit, our soul in worship and our walking the walk. Even when we stumble in sowing seeds of faith, His Spirit lives.

SHIRLEY AND GOODIES

GOOFS, GRIEF, GOTCHA, GRATITUDE, GRACE, GOOD

Our world is a specialist in conditioning us to seek success and strive for safety while searching for stuff. Men look for Shirley, the “ultimate mate” to enjoy. The “Shirleys” want to be captured by the “Prince on the White Horse,” cared for, secure, given every wish, all wrapped in love. The energy and resources invested in this direction by the human race in this world is hidden information that is huge.

Reality is that good people do goofy things. Not so good people do goofier things. In discussing the world’s problem with a mature scientist on the subject of waste, his projection, for our world is that we all will drown in our own waste. He said that he could prove his forecast by the multiplication of cells in a test tube. “Eventually all the cells die in their waste.” Wow! It was a vivid, horrible picture, death in waste. Some worry about world waste, few are concerned by individual waste, human waste is individual, but waste is a collective challenge to reduce.

Usually, goofs result in grief. Some grief turns to pain. The pain of a bill collector because of “debt overload,” relational separations, dumb decisions, the piling of stuff, the reduction of time for what’s really important (the sounds of our heart). “Gotcha” sets in eventually. For some it requires a compass adjustment, and a redirection towards the good life. That starts with the deep question, “what was I created for?” Most people won’t go there, too deep. Shirley and goodies are all they need.

I’ve met a few people, some young, others old that have asked the question and have grown to be “like a candle.” People who are grateful for whatever the day brings are graceful because of the love in their hearts and people who are bent to do good to everyone. Not reactors, but pro active to leave this world a better place. There are the people who give light (wisdom), gives warmth in care (even to the unlovely) and are like a good candle with an aroma of love wherever they are.

My “candle” friends have something in common, they live out the 23rd Psalm. It’s the Psalm that recognizes the pain and goofs of life, but when they look up to their creator who guides, gives and blesses those who understand, “Surely goodness and unfailing kindness shall be with me all of my life, and afterwards I will live with you (God) forever in your home.”

Life should not be “Shirley and goodies” but surely goodness and kindness with an eternal perspective to a life that never ends because of our creator and His love.

Take the thoughts to bed with you and think about Shirley or surely.

SHUN GUN

July, 1967 was a memorable month for our family. Let me set the stage.

June, 1966, our family of native Californians moved from 910 East Adams, Orange, California to 75 Shenandoah, Deerfield, Illinois. Usually men go west and the wise men go east but few go from California to Illinois, from being a life long builder where communication was swearing and numbers to an administrative position in academia where communication was fuzzy words wrapped in religious piety.

We took the opportunity with a year trial to see if we could make the adjustment professionally and culturally. So after a year, we journeyed back to the old culture and spent the summer mixing with the past pictures of people, places and programs. That didn’t take long so my wife and I went to college and took a course in Philosophy while our children played with their friends in the sun.

Philosophy was a heavy duty class for me considering my path and age. Dr. Delp made the class interesting especially since summer school didn’t require homework. The only part I remembered was his presentation of “shunning.” I recall that he grew up in Pennsylvania in a culture that believed strongly in the principle of separation even to the extent of the clothing they wore.

He explained, how “shunning,” was considered the best weapon for maintaining the chosen life of separation. His stories were captivating on how shunning worked in their community. A girl seen with a boy from another belief system (or clan) received a strong dose. Any sin against their culture would get shunning to the degree of the sin as the father’s deemed. Dr. Delp gave illustrations of the “shunning” and the destructive power and pain to human beings who were trapped in that culture. The conclusion was that “shunning” was a terrible thing that can hurt deeply the people that God made but never shunned.

We all can carry a shun gun and have total freedom to use it. I’ve shot “the shun gun” at people who disturb me, don’t blend with my spirit and belief system and other reasons. The result is that I become controlled by my stupidity and tightness that resulted in the back firing of the shun shot, and it is hurtful. Gang gunning is even more despicable and has to be very disturbing in the sight of God.

How does one hang up the gun forever? I’m not sure it can be done. It could be that we have been conditioned to collect in packs of like minded, same color, similar socio-economic, a tightness of likes and dislikes, a limited understanding of God’s love and that no one should be shunned, etc. Maybe we need an anti-shunning Friends Forum. Maybe a class taught by the person who shuns the least.

The basic truth is that I need to shun less and love more and that only the Triune God can help make it happen in my remaining days that are given to me.

SOLE SOUL

One of the three varieties of sole that Dr Webster defines is, “Sole is the only one.” Each life is a living solo. All humankind is uniquely created soles, crafted by our creator with out any choice of genes. We start life in our own cradle by ourselves. We are raised in different cultures. We are honed by different conditions. We are solos. There are no two same solos. We see, hear, feel, perceive differently. Different prints, voices, looks, bodies, personalities, abilities that results in our individual solo of living. There is no such person that’s the #1 sole. At some time, each sole dies. The soul is different, it lives forever.

Of the 10 definitions of soul by Webster, I gravitate to # 8 which states, “A person’s emotional or moral nature.”

Recently, listening to a talk about the soul, I think it’s worthy of thought. This is what I heard.

The treasures of the soul

The soul is the center of our creativity.
The soul is the center of our potentiality.
The soul is the center of our durability.
The soul is the center of our uniqueness.
The soul is the center of our desirability.
The soul is the center of our passion.
The soul is the center of our purpose.

If I don’t think about my soul and the treasures, life’s meaning becomes questionable. To fly solo without soul lowers my life satisfaction score. It’s easy and comfortable to wander in an arid world wasting time and decaying from inside out, Added to that is the invisible negative atmosphere that squelches the human spirit. The crises in life, is being unable to see anymore meaning in life, no hope.

It takes courage for me to think “Soul.” Courage comes from the word couer, which means, “heart.” To have courage is to listen to our heart, listen to God’s heart, to speak from the heart, and to act from the heart. Our heart, which is the center of our soul, is the seat of our courage.

In trying to envision a life aging well, I need more soul time with soul brothers and sisters who are collecting the treasures of the soul. Life chooses soul relationships---the relationships choose life

Simplicity and solitude for the soul, contemplating from the inside out, can result in a spirit of dealing with the pressures and problems of life, and life is so daily. Life is non-erasable. We’ve heard many times the quote, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a present.” Each day is the opportunity to search for soul food. God is the maker of our souls and only He can feed us soul food that satisfies the center of life. An old hymn says it well, “Feed Me Till I Want No More.”

Proverbs says, “The spirit of a man is the candle of the Lord.”

SOUL SOIL

An old friend shared a story from his memory bank. His father was a farmer in North Dakota, plowing the soil with 2 horses trying to make the furrows straight for planting. It was a pleasure to be with dad because he was a “we” father. We shall, we will, we’ll go, we’ll do, etc. These were times of bonding and learning to love the land, animals, sweat, the pauses for rest, field lunches, and the trek home after a good day.

One day when the plow was fluffing the earth, his father knelt down and took a handful and let it slip through his fingers and said, “Take good care of the soil and it will take care of you.” My friend enjoyed farming and the life of “soil management.” After University agriculture degree, he farmed his farm and lived the life he was taught. For 7 years there were ups and downs, profit and loss, good and difficult weather, family and church, oxymoron living (predictable and yet unpredictable).

The long days working gave time for thinking about the deeper things of life and made way for questions of the soul. Seven years alone in the fields prepared a path towards answers. The farm was sold, life changed and learning answers began during 3 years of seminary. After learning some answers, the test began when the starting of a church in California became the proving ground in a different culture. It was during this era that our friendship started, both searching for answers to life’s questions like, “What’s the point?”

After 11 years of building a congregation, it was time for more class room learning and thinking. The family follows the friend to University of Edinburgh for a Ph.D., then back to California for a seminary teaching position. When one wants to really learn, it’s with the young and bright, seeking answers. This group wants the straight stuff from some one who has their heart, head and hands wired together. Ray continued soul searching for truth with meaning for the challenges of life. My point to this point is that when Dr. Raymond Sherman Anderson writes, I read, and when he speaks, I listen to a soul- searching, kindred spirit friend.

In a his book, Dancing with Wolves while Feeding The Sheep, my friend wrote on friendship,
“Friendship may be the only form of human relationships which is sustained primarily by kindness. Kindness is the glue that binds friends together. If I should humiliate a friend, be insensitive to the feelings of a friend, cause unnecessary harm or hurt to a friend, or in any way treat a friend as an object that I use for my own pleasure and gratification, the friendship dissolves. There is no reason why a person should want to continue a friendship where there is no kindness, other than we use another to meet other needs. And in that case it is not a true and healthy friendship.”

My friend continues, “Kindness is a seed we plant in another’s garden to grow fruit for our enjoyment. When we care for the garden of another’s life we are ensuring a harvest of fruit for our own pleasure. The Proverb says it well: “Those who are kind reward themselves, but the cruel do themselves harm (Proverbs 11:17).” This is good stuff.

My major soil work started 30 years ago at New Aland with acres to plant. There is different (some difficult) kinds of soil. Dark clay, brown clay, hard clay, rocky clay, misc. clay, soil where trees and shrubs are planted. Not being a farm person, it took time blended with action to find the “fluff soil” for a vegetable garden that would yield a good harvest. What a place for pleasure, learning how good soil yielded when I cared for it. “You care for the soil and it will take care of you” is true. My family and friends enjoyed the harvest, especially the yield from 130 various tomato plants. It takes good soil for good food. It takes a good soul for good friends also.

Christmas is a time for cards from friends. This year, a dear friend sent a lovely note in a card with the message; “So long as we love we serve; So long as we are loved by others, we are indispensable; And no man is useless while he has a friend.” By Miriam O.M. Lane

These are very special messages from friends who I know are kind “soul friends” and who are loved for their friendship.

Webster’s definition of a friend is one you can trust and have a common cause. Our common cause with friends is kindness, which Dr. Webster says, “Generous, warm hearted, considerate, sympathetic, understanding, forbearing.” These are the seeds for the flowers of love.

Many souls are lonely and are (or feel) unloved. Everyone can and should give kindness and thereby collect friends that are the garden of life. When we do, we reward our selves, according to Proverbs.

Kindness plants the seeds of soul flowers who become friends. The “soul soil” becomes a place for God’s love that produces more kindness.

Socrates once asked a simple old man what he was most thankful for. The man replied, “That being such as I am, I have the friends that I have had.” Thank you for your love, kindness and friendship.

God is love, the Father of kindness.

SPIRIT

Spirit is a powerful word we usually don’t talk about. Stephen Covey wrote about spirit in his latest best seller, The Eighth Habit, when he says that men started as hunters to survive, then became farmers, industrialized, now electronic/informational, but will move to the era of wisdom. He wrote much about the need of spirit.

As usual, I asked Dr. Webster, “What is the meaning of spirit?” It is written: 1. The vital principle or animating force traditionally believed to be within human beings. 2. A supernatural being. 3. The part of a human being as distinguished from the physical body. 4. A person’s essential nature. 5. A person characterized by a stated quality. 6. A specific inclination or tendency. 7. An emotional state. 8. A particular emotional state characterized by vigor and animation. 9. Strong loyalty or dedication. 10. The predominate mood of an occasion or period. 11. The real sense or significance of something. 12. An alcoholic beverage.

Back to Mr. Covey’s book. He wrote two quotes as examples of what spirit was to him (from my perspective).

“The spirit of the man is the candle of the Lord.” From the book of Proverbs
“Few of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love.” Mother Theresa

I took to the Proverbs quote and told my son. His response was, “That’s not what the Bible teaches.” So we took the Living Bible, The Message and the New Revised Version and found their definitions. They all looked different to me---different spins. I became intrigued with the spirit word in Proverbs, so I started asking friends what the verse meant to them, including two theologian friends. Here are some expressed thoughts. The most noted was a letter that contained 270 words and 7 scripture quotes. It was complex. I asked if it could be boiled down to 20 words (Proverbs quote is 11 words). He boiled it down to 9 words.

“God constantly and completely examines us via our spirit.”

Two theologians wrote the following (one friend dissected the Hebrew) I boiled them down.

“The human spirit is the lens through which the light of God’s love shines around the corner in our life, revealing what lies ahead and healing the hurts left behind.”

What it means to me is that I should be open to God’s “lamp” and to the discernment He has given the human spirit. He created, in order that we live a life pleasing to Him.”

Nancy sent, “Inner life, inner light, holy light, breath of life, soul, flame of light/life, love, hearts alive, life of God in us.

The first response from a treasured friend was very wordy and long so I asked him to try again.

“When we peacefully relax into the unvarnished truth of our own spirit, we stand naked before ourselves and God. Since God is love, there is safety, not shame, in this nakedness. As we learn to trust this love, and live in this safety, we feel ever more deeply connected to every human being we meet. We catch glimpses of their nakedness hidden like ours beneath layers of deceit, and we smile and, in our hearts, embrace them as we embrace ourselves.”

The Eighth Habit planted seeds in my head and heart as to the complex definitions of the word spirit, from Webster’s collection to the collection of friend’s thoughts.

My son who said, “That’s not what the bible teaches,” later came back with, “The King James version says what Covey quoted, “The spirit of a man is the candle of the Lord.” So now what are my thoughts?

At 75, the learning to paint era was launched under the eyes of my teacher Laini. One of the first requests made was to have Laini paint a picture for me. The request was a candle glowing in the dark and oranges on the table. I knew that I wanted the picture, but didn’t know why or when it would say something. Laini finished the painting in a very short time (she is good) and it hangs in our living room in a special place giving memories of the lessons.

Now the message has come together in the painting. It started with the oranges. Our family left the city of Orange, California, where life was comfortable, to the village of Deerfield, Illinois, changing from builder to higher education as the chief beggar at Trinity. One snowy night, walking the streets of Minneapolis, feeling like a failure and stupid for moving from sun to snow, a creative culture to a conservative arena, I stopped and looked at a painting of two Oranges. One orange had 3 drops (tears) and the other 1 drop. The thought to me was that sometimes life is tough. I alone in the snow (3 tears) and Joan was home alone with four children. I think I cried. That picture hangs 10 feet from me as a reminder of those days when I thought maybe we should have stayed in Orange, but now know more than ever that God knows what He’s doing as we continue to live life, one day at a time, trying to “Doing good.”

“The spirit of a man is the candle of the Lord,” and Mother Theresa’s, “All of us can do small things with great love,” is like rail tracks to travel on. Spirit, Lord, love. My Lord is my strength and energy to do some small thing in love that will help this world to be a better place to live in, especially for those who have our DNA.

SQUELCHED ? QUIT, SIT, GET MOLDY ? GET QUENCHED !

You get the feeling that you’ve been squelched and the facts support the feelings, the natural tendency is to quit. I’ve quit many times. The heavy feelings of being super squelched by a person, circumstance or a friend causes me to “back off.” Flee rather than fight. Fighting is not my style (except with wife Joan). A friend asked, “Who wins?” You guess.

To quit is easy. Just do some spiritual swearing, adjust the compass, then avoid the squelcher. You know the path of escaping pain, the struggles of moving from happiness to hollowness. Quit and sit is medicine. Growing up with immigrant parents, the cure for every ailment was an enema and bed. I’ve quit the enemas, but the bed’s a wonderful escape place. Relax. Release the grief. The pain, as a result of being squelched, is a deep pain that binds up the spirit. This pain is not easy to deal with.

Too much escape from “squelch pain” can result in getting moldy. Yuck. Everything becomes distasteful. The grieving spirit grieves the Holy Spirit. It’s easy to forget that all pains are gifts come from our Father on high. God wants us to look to Him and learn from every distasteful and painful experience. Pain demands attention, which is crucial to recovery, to spiritual healing.

In Joseph Stowell’s book, Loving Those We’d Rather Hate, (squelchers) he states:
“We have to ask ourselves if a vitally important quality isn’t missing in the expression of our Christianity. Whatever happened to a church marked by mercy, grace, and a willingness to suffer for the cause of Christ, while in the midst of it all maintaining a posture of love for and forgiveness toward our enemies (1 Peter 2: 19-25).” Do we really want to be another protestor in the arena; or is there something more dramatically unique and powerful that has gotten lost in the struggle? Christ taught us that the priority of a person’s soul in His love was of utmost significance.

In Philip Yancey’s book, Where is God When It Hurts, he asks “Where is God when it hurts? He has been there from the beginning, designing a pain system that still, in the midst of a fallen, rebellious world, bears the stamp of His genius and equips us for a life on this planet. He has used pain, even in the grossest forms, asking us to let it turn us to Him. He has stooped to conquer. He has promised supernatural strength to nourish our spirit, even if our suffering goes unrelieved.”

Every kind of pain is a stepping stone to the “best is yet to come” time in life.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. I Corinthians 2:9

Like Gatorade that quenches the thirst of a spent athlete, Gods promises to quench the spirit of those who love and trust Him.

SPARROWS AND STONES

Everyone, well almost everyone, has special interest and collects stuff. My grandson, Ben collects basketball cards of his favorite basketball players. My wife, Joan, collects crystal objects. I’m interested in stones and sparrows and that’s what I collect.

It, the collection, started in the early “80s”. First, came thoughts about becoming an “Eagle” type person. One who soared above everyone. The Super Achiever. They are incredible performer’s. I was working with some eagles and quasi eagles, all pressing for profit. I listened to “eagles”. Read books on how to become an eagle person and looked for clues for success. Next, I turned to thinking about the image of an eagle and the reality of eagles after being challenged by some English gentlemen as we were relaxing in the hot pool at the Los Angeles Airport Marriot.

“The image of the eagle is one of ultimate pride and power. The reality is that eagles are loners, killers and are becoming extinct”.

I went flip side and started to think about the “opposite bird”, the sparrow, the everywhere bird. The sparrow is the world bird, found in most parts of the world. Every sparrow is uniquely crafted by the Creator. There isn’t much written about the sparrow. Sparrow art is rare. The sparrow became my chosen bird because scripture says “His eye is on the sparrow”. Mahalia Jackson made the song “His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me” famous with her feelings of intimacy with the Maker of man and sparrows, all individually created to fit into His big picture.

Next, I started to read about sparrows. There are 36 species in North America. I started “sparrow watching”. It is interesting how they can operate alone, or in group’s, even with other feathered friends. Sparrow’s join all the birds at the bird feeders my sister maintains. In Paris, on the Cathedral steps at Montmartre, we sat and watched French school boys who were feeding the local pigeons, watching the action. The sparrows were there, enjoying the feast and the pigeons didn’t mind their presence. My interest in sparrows grew. I looked for opportunities to watch them living, sparrow life. Even though there are no two sparrows exactly alike, they are easy to identify.

The “Sparrow Collector Society” must be very small. There is no sparrow art in the galleries, lots of eagles, ducks, peacocks, thrushes, humming birds and other exotics. The gift shops have small bird artifacts that make the imaginary mind stretch to say it’s a sparrow. Even though I have a collection of small bird art, only 4 are authentic. A barn-sparrow lithograph found in San Francisco, a 6 sparrow painting lithographs I brought from Japan, an original drawing by a family member and a 20 Kroner Danish currency that has 2 sparrows on it. Since I’m 50% Danish, I like that money medium. I don’t have much sparrow art and my friends who know of my fetish haven’t been able to help add to my collection.

So I started thinking about a stone collection.

Stones must mean something to God. There are over 180 references to stones in the Bible. Stones mentioned for building, boundary markers, for killing, for grave markers, for inscribing the 10 commandments, etc. Stones are used as metaphors;

“The stones heard the saints.” “Still as a stone.” “Strength of a stone.” “I will remove from them their hearts of stone and give to them hearts of flesh.” “We are LIVING STONES building up a vibrant sanctuary.” Like sparrows, stones are everywhere and each uniquely crafted, no two exactly alike. This collection would be easy. I would have to answer the “why” question later.

The stone collection started in 1995 when my wife, a son and his wife traveled to Paris, chunneled to London, had a beer in the Oxford tavern made famous by C.S. Lewis and then to Bath. Joan and I extended the trip to Wales, then back to the west coast of England. I saw my first beach of collectable “stones” at Minehead. I selected 25 nice stones, all dark grey. Then down the coast about 150 miles at St. Ives was the next place to collect 25 beauties, about the same size as the Minehead stones but pinkish in color. Questions started. Same coast, different color, why? Then at the next beach, Polperro, a delightful non-auto, small fishing village on the south coast of England, the stones indigenous to this bay were slate-like, thin, black beauties. Different. Why?

The south coast of England is so traveler friendly, especially Christchurch, our favorite of all the villages we’ve visited in every country in Europe. After our tour of the village, I went “stoning” at the Christchurch beach. Incredible! No two stones alike. Different textures, shapes, colors, sizes. Why question again. I really enjoyed the experience, like a boy with $50.00 in a candy store and no restrictions. I just went crazy collecting 100’s of creative works of art. I had a weighty accumulation to carry home. We finished our holiday with Windsor Castle and then Stonehenge, two great works of stone. The question of why am I getting interested in stones and what will I do with them became the questions to answer before landing in Chicago.

My answers to the stone collecting question;

1. I collect them because it’s easy and because they stimulate memories of neat places having visited. Also no one else I know does it the way I do and for the same reasons. It is a very inexpensive activity (no cost) and above all, I enjoy.

2. Give them to my male friends as a memory stone of our friendship and a reminder of God’s creativity of making everything and everyone different. What a thought! How will this activity play out? I must confess, it takes sensitive creativity since like every person is different and every stone is different, every “gift stone” giving technique had to be customized. So I mixed my collection together, placed them on a table and asked the receiver to select their goofy gift. After they made their selection, so made them fast, others, minutes, I then would describe the place the stone came from and why the place was special. Then I would ask, “why did you pick that particular stone?” That’s when the conversation became friendly by sharing our philosophical and spiritual thoughts.

In 1996, we journeyed to Turkey and resumed my stone collecting experiences, starting at Ephesus. Then to the Greek Island of Paros then on to Athens to meet our daughter Chris, husband and 3 children then on to Corinth, island of Corfu, Solerno, Italy, Pompei, Rome on Palm Sunday then ending in Lake Como, Italy, everybody’s favorite place for class. I’ve keep adding to the stone collection to give to our friends. More friends, more stones.

In the early 80’s, when I first started the eagle-sparrow thoughts, I came across the scripture verse which says “rise up with wings of an eagle”. Sparrows have an image of humble workers who are afraid. Eagles on the other hand have the image of great courage and strength. Most humans are like sparrows, same size workers trying to survive. Sometimes we need a shot of courage and strength to “rise up” and remember God’s promises of love and one who really cares for us.

Also in the 80’s, I asked an artist friend to design an art symbol combining the humble sparrow with wings of an eagle. What Steve designed is the SPARAGLE, combining the spirit of the sparrow and the eagle into a dramatic visual aid that someday I would find a reason to use.

Several years ago, Roger invited Doug and I to a special friendship lunch. Our lunches are always special because, if men can really love one another, we love one another and really care for each other. Roger gave to Doug a special stone and a thoughtful note of thanks. I received the same gift with a cross etched on top of the stone. They are great reminders of Christ, our common bonder and our deep friendship with each other. We’ve gone through pain and pleasure together. Because of our commitment to each other, our walk through pain and pleasure in the days ahead will be easier.

When I saw my gift, a carved stone, I wanted to know who did the work. Roger gave me the name of the artist, I called, we met, then he creatively carved a SPARAGLE on 100 stones. In the first three months, I had given 95 SPARAGLES as a special gift to special people. The many notes of thanks and responses was encouraging me to continue to collect special stones from special places to be given as special gifts to special people for special reasons.

SPARAGLES are God made stones with an etched symbol of a sparrow with wings like an eagle. Like Samuel’s Ebenezer stone he picked up to remember God’s mercy, God’s strength and His hope, so the SPARAGLE STONE can be given to loved ones to be a reminder;

1. To be humble, strong workers doing His will, sparrow style

2. His tender love.

3, His strength to help us rise up with courage with “Wings Like Eagles”.

4, Of our family who we love.

5. That friends are like diamonds, stones that sparkle and gives life twinkles.

IF YOU GET STUCK IN THE MUD

YOU CAN GET WATERLOGGED OR
YOU CAN COLLECT BARNACLES

DON’T GET STUCK IN
THE MUCK AND MUD

Learning late in life that living in a sailboat is wiser and more challenging than owning and living in a powerboat that gets bigger than life. I used to think that if only I owned a powerboat with an endless supply of fuel, a compass and a place (s) to go to was the way to live life to the fullest. The different boats represent a metaphor for living one day at a time.

Thinking that my life is to develop a purpose with a passion for profit, power, pleasure and places to go has changed. Our 1st speedboat was purchased for the pleasure of fishing with friends and water skiing trips with the family. After several years I learned some lessons applicable to me. First is in planning, getting the boat, motor and equipment ready only to experience bad weather delays. Being a spastic in motor care also added to the feeling that the boat may is not a good idea as we experienced disheartening experiences. The one stand out memory was on a family water skiing trip in the bay off Ensenada, Mexico. We had super fun in the warm water. That changed quickly as the tide went out and we didn’t make it to the ramp by about 300 feet. We are now stuck in the muck and mud. The pain of pushing the boat across the mud is etched in our minds. Time to sell the boat. No passion for problems, no power control over conditions, cost vs. pleasure factor, family interest and lack of meaningful purpose gave us directives.

Next was, we rented a small sailboat at Balboa. Without sailing lessons, we got out the jetty but the “getting back” was another memory and lesson in tacking as we went side to side hitting boats that were docked. That was our 1st and last sailing experience. Didn’t develop a love.

The next “first and last” sailing experience was on SF bay with Doug as the skipper, Chuck as the deck hand and I was below acting as the cook. It was beautiful sunny day, nice breeze, perfect day, total enjoyment, a wonderful skipper. The winds increase, loss of control, sails must come down and the wait until conditions are OK was a great learning experience about life. The challenge is to be ready.

Learning to sail in the “Paraclete Boat” takes the experiences of life. Some days there is no wind (spirit) so it’s best to relax, other days there is too much wind so take sails down and wait, on the smooth sailing days I just keep trimming. With no personal power, no ability to make the fuel, no place to go, no control, just sailing in the Spirit with faith, family, friends, fun and a focus. Now life is luscious living and sailing in the Paraclete.in storms and lot’s of sonshine, one day at a time.

The Paraclete life avoids the muck and mud, water logged and barnacles of life most of the time.

The 1st Date with Joan Pflum

Joan and I were in the class of 43 at Alexander Hamilton High School located on Robertson Boulevard in west Los Angeles. It was in the spring of 43 when our action started. She was dating Don, a ROTC colonel and I was playing the field in churches that had a Scandanavian collection of “good girls.” The two things we had in common was, one, we both were thought well enough to be members of the best clubs. Joan in the Tri Delt sorority and I in a fraternity club. The other common factor was that we were in Mrs. Robert’s science class. We never got close enough to talk about anything. One day after class, Joan came up to me and asked, “Would you go to a party with me at my house on (I forgot the date)?” I was taken by surprise. Being a fraternity jock, my response was positive. After some thought time, I thought it wise to take her on a date prior to the party. In case our togetherness was negative, I could reverse my yes. My favorite date idea was to go to a movie. It wasn’t until I was a senior in high school that I went to movies. My parents were conservative Christians who did not want us to become influenced by Hollywood. After I saw my first movie, I wanted to see them all, romance, war, cowboy, news reels, an thing that hit the big screen I wanted to see. So I called Joan and asked her if she would go to a movie with me. Her answer was a nervous OK. The Friday night came, I cleaned the family car, put on my best casual clothes and drove to Joan’s home on Monte Mar Drive. I found her home. It was located in an upscale neighborhood and her home at 1st sight was impressive. I was nervous because Joan was the 1st non-protestant church girl I ever dated. The walk up the steps was scary. Joan introduced me to her parents and her sister Joyce. I did not want to spend time with her family so I said, “We have to go or we’ll miss the beginning.” Our ride to the Fox Ritz theatre on Wilshire Boulevard was a time of verbal waltzing. Both of us were nervous. We had to wait in line to get tickets that cost 25 cents.1st stop was the bathroom for a pee and wash my face. The 2nd was the popcorn stand. Since it was Friday night, the theatre was full. We sat in the middle of the theatre. Previews were shown, then the news reel. The news reel was of interest to me since most of the footage was about the war. I had enlisted in the Army Air Corp and was captivated by the dog fights and bombings. Midway through the feature film, I cautiously reached for her hand. This was the main event of the evening. My response mentally on how Joan handled the holding of hands was---she’s creative. Why? Because she had me wrap my hand around her fist. There was no resistance. Date was a success. The next day I called Joan and asked for a date at our graduation party. I’ve always been a “plan ahead” kind of guy. The party at her home was new experience. There was dancing. Being raised by parents who thought that dancing could lead to immoral action, I was nervous to even try. But the time came when I took her in my arms and said, “Shall we dance?” (or something like that). Joan had had dancing lessons, I had two clumsy feet. Joan graciously made me feel secure. The big date was a success After that evening, there were many parties. Sorority, fraternity, beach, plus dates to Kentucky Boys for hamburgers and fries, Bob’s Drive In, the TeePee by Universal Studio for steaks and every movie that hit the screen at the Fox Wilshire Then in November of 43, I went into the Army Air Corp. The next round with Joan is another story.

THE CHEMICAL MAN

Maybe you should start learning about chemical healing. In the 8th decade of life, my learning experience started when I became 68 years old with a serious heart problem. The cure was an angio-plasti and everyday a coumadin pill preventing blood clots.

Now, after six stays at the 5 Star Condell Resort and Care Center for serious surgery and heart problems, the chemical healing has increased to 17 different cure pills totaling 20-23 per day (600+) per month. That’s OK because in two months the 9th decade will begin.

The 9 doctors who care for my body know that my desire is to live ten more years because life is so good. Hopefully, the years ahead will contribute something that will make this world a better place for humanity. Mother Teresa taught that doing little things with great love is the way we can do the doings in love that result in “mercy doings.”

Hope is a healing factor. The second night after this last surgery, the pain was beyond hope. At 2 AM, I called the nurse and told her to call Joan and have her come and pick me up because I wanted to quit life. It was pain beyond pain with no hope. Obviously the call was not placed. Probably they know that old men in super pain can get delirious and become stupid. In the morning, the pain drops was inserted into the inter-vines feeding bag, and so another trip started. “Hit the button when pain comes,” said the nurse. The button won’t deliver the stuff by holding it down. There’s a time delay factor.

The 3rd night, super pain (in my butt) returned. I learned that the delay factor for getting dope was five minutes. For five hours, I hit the button for relief every five minutes and became a dope junkie. The pain did not go away, but my head really got screwed up. I saw bugs on the ceiling, heard good old hymns coming from the vents and had so many goofy visions. What a trip.

The next day, my doctor and surgeon brought in an infectious bug expert. Soon the decision for 2 more different pills was made. The cure time is estimated to be 10 days before I’ll be able to sit on my butt. The good news was that I could go home. The last surgery, three years ago, the hospital had to put up with my pain for 22 days. This was 8 day pain experience at the hospital and there’s high hope that in 10 days I’ll be moving on all cylinders.

What was learned? Joan, my partner for 62 years, gives love and care par excellence. The family’s love was intense in care for mother and father. The support of friends was warm. The doctors and the chemicals are keeping the engine running. One can not add a day to life.

What I do know is God knows what He’s doing. My life needs to keep focusing on what He wants out of my living and “doings.” Putting joy into living and good “doings” can have a ripple effect for Him in our family and our friends we stay connected with.

It’s better to have a pain in the butt than to be a pain in the butt.

Living in love is so good.

The Final Four

Dan gave this name to designate the group of four men who had intertwined their lives over a period of 50 years. The names from the youngest (67) to the oldest (84) are Dan, Richard, Harry and Dave.
How did this bonding happen? Maybe it was because of the multi-faceted times of connecting. There have been times of excitement, working together, relaxing together, travelling together, through times of travail, laughing, weeping for one another and blasting when needed. There was always love for each other and support during major transitions in life. The deep connections helped each other live life.
The characters
Harry was born in Madison, Wisconsin. He was a minister, Chairman of the board of Trinity Bible College, president of Trinity Collage and Divinity School. In nineteen years, Harry directed the schools in obtaining accreditation, student body of 900 in the college and 1700 in the divinity school, added 19 buildings, 80 acres of property then became president of the college during an adjustment period.
Dan started a church after graduating from the divinity school, was invited by Harry to become the chaplain at Trinity College, then the associate pastor of a mega church in California followed by his private practice as a counselor.
Richard has been a builder then developer of fine homes and commercial buildings. At one time his paper net worth was $140 million.
Dave started as a builder, then worked with Harry leading the development department (fund raising) with Harry, then with Richard in the real estate field, initial marketing and sales director for Blackhawk, a 5,000 acre,2500 homes and village center then consultant to major real estate developers in California and representative for the state of California on trade missions to Asia including China.
Each of the four have experienced giant failures (at least from some peoples perspective). Each failure was different leading the lives into each other like Dave’s life into Harry and Richard, Dan into Richard, Harry into Dave, ending in an intertwining of four men who cared for one another by loving help. To celebrate the bonding, the four had a grand Europe touring experience including a communion service at a restaurant on Lake Lugano, Italy
On November 12th, 2009, Harry, Dan and Richard visited Dave at his home for 4 days. Why? Because of Dave’s serious health issues that could reduce the group to the Final Three The gathering included taking Dave to the hospital for his daily 2 hour infusion ( a 6 week, every day program), walking down memory lane, family challenges, looking into each ones crystal ball, discussion on prayer, a political debate (Harry and Dan), a grand Johnny’s Chop House dinner, planning Daves memorial service (his wishes), worship and communion service ending with the Final Four holding each other with a prayer of gratefulness by Dan that gave the glory to God.
A friend is one who loves at all times. Proverbs 17:1
That best describes the Final Four!

THE WOUNDED SPARROW

You may never have seen a wounded sparrow but I have because I caused the picture.

In the early 1900’s, a weapon called a Daisy BB gun for boys was the ultimate toy in the city. Maybe in the farming country the grand toy would be a bird gun and/or deer rifle. There is a very big difference in cost and use. The city kids play cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians and the winners usually had BB guns. Wars were different.

I was about 10 when I finally wore down my parents and got a BB gun. Being from a middle class city family, my gun was middle class. A pump gun that was powerful enough that the person hit would holler but not forceful enough to break the skin or a window. Most of the boys in a middle class neighborhood had middle class guns.

When a group of boys gathered for war, each carrying a gun, the hollers started and the winner was the last one that didn’t get hit by a BB. These are a collection of memories, with wars in vacant lots that were creative. In the 2nd half of the century, the guns were water guns of a variety of sizes, capable of doing painless damage but still would cause verbal noises. The driest survivors were the winners in water wars.

Sometimes, when alone, the only sport was to try and hit sparrows with a BB. It was rare for a sparrow to be hit. If you’ve ever shot a BB gun you would understand that to hit a bird flying, in a tree, or on the ground it would be because of luck beyond luck. My parents didn’t want me to shoot at birds because life of any thing was precious to them. One day, alone, I took the gun to a vacant lot and started shooting at sparrows. As fate would have it, I wounded a sparrow. I held the wounded sparrow in my hand and as it tried to fly, I started to cry. What was I to do? Kill it? Oh no! Take it home? Triple no, father’s razor strap would hurt my buttox. I sat for several hours praying for the poor sparrow, who just laid it in my hand without a sound or move. Finally the sparrow flew off. My prayers answered.

Later in life I bought a statue of a girl kneeling and holding a bird in her hands. It’s in grandfather’s garden and a daily reminder that I should not hurt anyone or anything. Hurts and pains come from a variety of sources and we need caring hands to hold us when we are wounded, whether physical pain, relational scratches, emotional scars or spiritual tragedies.

Our healing comes from the hands who hold us, our doctors trying to give solutions, the nurses who give comfort, friends who hold us rather than dropping and spiritual input from scripture along with a caring loving family.

We, I, sometimes don’t know we’re wounded. No pain to point to, no worries or anxieties, just a wounded feeling like that sparrow I held in my hands years ago, just helpless. The best hands to hold you when that happens is your mate without having to understand, judgment or advice, just tender loving hands during the healing process.

This Little Light

• Our light is borrowed light.
• Our light is first and foremost to be seen.
• Our light should be seen in all places.
• Our light should be warm, guiding in love.
• Our light should reflect the grace of God.
• Our God is the light and the giver of life.
• We need to give the radiance of the
Christian. In an angry world, be the
people who can remain calm. In this
depressed world, let us have the glow
of a life fulfilled, the sparkle, of life with
a purpose. Too often, we groan the woes
of the world. We can be friends with God,
the dispenser of love and joy.
• This little light of mine, I’m going to
Let it shine, let it shine , let it shine.

TWO SIGNS, TOO MANY SIGNS!

October is a lovely month to visit Boston. We took an auto tour from New Aland to DC, Philadelphia, NJ, NY then Boston to visit our first grand daughter. Then to Bar Harbor (for Maine lobster at it’s finest) on to Halifax then a relaxed tour through New England and Canada colors before returning to New Aland.

Boston was the mid way and the high point of this (our last) drive through history, charm and lobster country. Approaching the age of 80, we (I) treat every experience as the last one. This adds to the positives of living and our collection of memories. I no longer want to carry a bag of negatives, so I’m careful in planning the last whatever.

I love Boston and enjoy all the repeats of great visuals. The 6 weeks at Harvard’s Graduate School of Business in the early 70’s (academic summer course), I experienced this citadel of education with Harvard, MIT, Boston University, Boston College, and so many other bastions of higher education. 35% of Boston’s population is involved in education, a place where many cab drivers have Master’s degrees (working on additional degrees) and the historic charm is every where around the Commons. I love Boston even though I’d rather live in New Aland.

A famous church facing the Commons, Park Street Congregational Church, founded 194 years ago, stands with New England class with a cemetery next door with famous Bostonians buried under old, far reaching trees. There was a sign, which read, What’s the Point of Life? It was an invitation to discussion group sessions for 2 hours each Sunday evening. Walking across the Commons, with gardens, statues, wide paths with lots of people enjoying this marvelous autumn and we chatting with Katherine was deeply etched in our collection of Boston memories.

Passing the Ritz Hotel on the way to a sidewalk café to meet Alex for lunch, I saw another famous church with the sign, Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Lips. Then we enjoyed a lunch with Katherine and Alex (Katherine’s beau) knowing that this is our last day in Boston, but what a day.

What’s the point of this story? The signs. What is the point of life, mine or any other life and the directive of body language over loud lips. We live by signs, 1000’s every day. I think that we have too many signs that confuse, especially in the last years. Our church has 114. Some read the signs (horoscopes) reaching for signs of the day. November 7, 2003, as a Virgo (not really) my sign is, “You can either cut expenses or bring in more money.” It’s good to find ways to do the former. Take on more work.” This is a very lousy sign for me. But the 2 church signs have set me thinking about life and what signs to read on the way to the last day.

Everyone is a piece of work that lives each day, month, years, decade’s until the end reading signs. Now, each day I think about point and purpose of life. Daily, Joan and I keep adjusting the compass of life trying to find peace with purpose by reading the pure signs God has given.

WE ALL LIVE IN OUR OWN NUT HOUSE

Living in the country has many quiet benefits. But some of the elements of country living cause screams and groans. Mice make people scream and squirrels cause groans. They store their nuts in strange places like shoes. Squirrels are country comics with their ability to go out on the limb, dance on fence tops and avoid the crushing wheels of chasing autos.

In a way, we all live in our own nut houses. We store stuff in our closets, and cupboards, then pantries. Soon the garage and the attic get full. Next storage place is the storage places that have become big business. We find it difficult getting off the path of accumulation.

After gathering nuts for fun and security, I’ve started the process of down-sizing or downward mobility. I’m discovering that it’s easier to get than to get rid of stuff. Part of the problem is who to give my old stuff to. My children have their nut houses filled with more stuff than I have.

An easy, but maybe a stupid, and outrageous solution, is to get a dumpster and except for furniture, throw everything away. With empty storage space one could start all over collecting new stuff. In that way, one could start getting what is really, I mean really needed for security and comfort rather than trendy stuff that loses it’s place in the sun.

I could not throw everything out. I could not throw my stuff for painting MOILS, the computer for communicating with my friends, and some books. I would want to save a forty year old sweater that holds memories of Venice, Italy, a fine blue suit and a nice sweat suit.

In my vision of aging well is the concept of no more shopping for stuff. The decisions of choosing what to wear would be virtually eliminated. This would expand the life by being with people and having more living experiences. Life would take on a new dignity, the time for fresh thoughts and ideas could enter life resulting in “Life Gardening.” And that does not take closet space.

Maybe I’m searching for the uncomplicated, simpler peaceful ways of life. Thoughts have emerged about turning trails of trash into tracks of mercy and goodness. I am learning slowly, daily that the answer to life’s deepest meanings is not found in the pursuit of products and programs but meaning is found in connecting with people and rubbing hearts in peace. That is sacred space. This is pursuit that is opposite of the world’s centrifugal forces.

Trend followers seem to fall into selfishness, self-centeredness and vanity. They stray away from being unique with a radiance of inward beauty. This takes soul searching and the transfer of the focus of life. Many personal decisions remain in my life and probably always will as I journey back to basics. At the same time cultures are bursting to get more stuff.

There is a risk of pioneering the path of self-freedom in being what God created, a unique individual, doing His will.

The ability to expand hope is the link between faith and love. Living in the house of hope is love.

We Walk the Electric Picket Fence-----

Between wants, desires, dreams, novelties and needs, I’m searching for the uncomplicated, simpler peaceful ways of life. I’ve been on that fence. What have we learned from history? It’s like good and bad islands linked together in a sea of turmoil and strife. Life should not be devastating dullness or tumbling aliveness, underwhelming and meaningless but wonderfully human, living life without expectations, adventurous and useful.

The older some get, they become less and less impressed with 1) big deals, 2) big buildings, 3) big budgets, 4) big productions, 5) big miracles, but become impressed with 1) sky, 2) dreams, 3) love, 4) flowers 5) grace 6) mercy 7)action and deeds. Some travel the scenic route of life, smelling the flowers. Some start holding hands with the hurting using gifts, talents and energy for humankind and then receive inner music no-one else hears.

There are people that are energized with the thoughts and actions that restrains the cycle of generations of poverty. They want “soul satisfaction.” They want to help make tomorrow better than today for those who live in despair and hopelessness. On the other side are some who practice being a beacon of bad news. The soul less world secretes boredom and bad news and loses the value of living deeply, laughing, learning, and listening to the soul of men.

Living deeply takes courage. Courage comes from the word Coeur which means “heart.” To have courage is to listen to our heart, to speak from our heart, and to act from our heart.
Our heart, which is the center of our being, is the seat of courage.
• Courage often starts in small corners. It is courageous to think well of other people
• It is courageous to reach out to a poor person.
• It is courageous to spend time with a troubled and hurting child.
• It is courageous to participate in actions against injustice.
• It is courageous to care for the abused.
For some, te crises of life is being unable to see anymore meaning in life. Life is dull!

It has been said that perhaps God’s soul is where hungry kids play, the old ladies beg, and the shoe shine boy picks your pocket, places where the need is the greatest To help takes passion with purpose. It takes fresh awareness of a tender heart. A tender heart sees the blank faces in the world, trapped by daily life without hope. The pressure of the privileged is to love unconditionally. This is pursuit that is opposite the world’s centrifugal forces

A non erasable scene is when one’s humble hands that becomes energized with a soft touch, a tender voice that gives encouragement. It is like a spray of fragrance that fractures the dullness and hopelessness of poverty

Liberating theology is that God loves the poor and they have the blessings to give. When we give in love, passion becomes compassion. Compassion will change the world.

WHALES, WALES AND WAILS

Stan was a friend from early childhood. Our parents celebrated Christmas Eve with a huge Swedish dinner, exchanged a few (low cost) gifts, then we went go to bed. A celebration at our home, then the next year at the Bjorkman’s in Wilmar. Very few people in California knew where Wilmar was located. It was just a Red Line streetcar stop with a few homes. Way out country. The creative part was housing 4 adults and 7 children (ages 7 to 17) in 2 bedroom homes (about 900 square feet) that also included a large Christmas tree.

Stan was cool, a couple of years my senior. He had a marvelous smile and contagious laughter. In 1941, Stan had a 4 door red convertible Mercury with a Carson top. At church it gathered a crowd of luster’s. Then WWII separated us. Stan enlisted in the Merchant Marines (boat life) and I to the Army Air Corp. In the late 40’s, we renewed the good life. Stan had a 14-16 foot outboard and enjoyed going out of Newport Beach on fishing trips. He would invite me for a free ride in his craft for the excitement of catching barracuda, a fighting fish. Usually we would have to settle for mackerel (no ones favorite) and halibut, which is like hauling in a sack of wet clothing (but good to eat). Yah,the good old days.

The last fishing trip with Stan was trolling along the coast with views of Corona Del Mar and Laguna Beach, California. We caught some fish and headed north to the boat ramp when suddenly the most vivid scare of my life emerged about 10 feet from the boat, headed in the same direction. It was close enough so that we could see the barnacles attached. He was travelling at a faster speed, so we slowed way down and had swivel heads looking for the monster, sure that we would be attacked. Out of sight, we journeyed home with the whale tale.

Our 1997 Europe experience started in Paris with Heidi and Gary. We chunneled to London, rented a station wagon and toured to Oxford. The Oxford highlight was to have beers in the same place that C.S. Lewis made famous. Then on to several B&B’s in the English villages country enjoying the charms and the pubs. The village of Bath was the place where Gary and Heidi went back to London and we continued our tour of UK. From Bath, we drove to Wales.

Our remembrance of Wales was a place of beauty. Rolling hills, lots of sheep, a few super old churches, castles in disrepair. The villages and the few cities were smaller. Wales seemed like a relaxed place. We left the main highway to find a B&B. What a find! It was a 3 building village, with the pub the largest place. Across the road was an old church with the manse converted to a small B&B. After settling in, we went to the pub for a delightful dinner. What made the charm were the happy people enjoying life. The brogue was warm and creative to our ears. A good meal value, along with the home brew ale, sent us to the manse for rest and another day.

The next morning we went out to the church, a very small modest house of worship that was over 300 years old serving the valley. Then we read tombstones. A man was tuck pointing the church as a volunteer. Standing on a ladder smoking a pipe he answered my questions with energy. Not too many Americans have found this place. Before leaving we walked to the river careening through the valley. This was the birthplace of the “remembrance stone” concept. An eyeful of beauty, the warmth of the people, the joy of touring with Joan in such a place, gives this high ranking on the joyful experiences list. Wales was wonderful.

Wail is a word that is not used often in our communication. We see mothers wailing on TV holding a sick or dying baby. We don’t usually experience it firsthand. A highly emotional word or experience we avoid.

In 2001, I experienced my 3rd “wake call.” At a time in intensive care with congestive heart failure. I had 6 different roommates. Two died. All different ages, problems, anxieties, even visitor types. Dragi Vrosevic was the most unusual. He was a 16 year old HS freshman, 6 foot 8 inches tall, 350 pounder and Serbian. It’s the day before Easter. He thinks he’s having a heart attack. He wants to watch TV. I don’t. A compromise was offered. “Dragi, you can control the TV today, but tomorrow I want to go to church. It’s Easter.” His response, “I’ll go with you, OK?”

Easter, 1999 TV church starts with Charles Stanley from Atlanta. It was typical Stanley style. The next was Ben Hayden, Presbyterian Church, Chattanooga. Outstanding!!! He used the Lazarus tomb story as his Easter topic. The scene of the wailing women was vividly described.
Then he shared a personal wailing story. Ben’s mother had received a telegram that her brother was killed in Europe. She started to wail. She wailed for over 24 hours ending in total exhaustion. The TV wailing scenes became real. Then Ben shared why his mother wailed. “She wailed because she was sure that her brother would spend eternity in hell because of his unbelief in the risen Christ.” Impacting!!! Dragi and I shared our faith that Easter Sunday.

I had never seen anyone wail firsthand. I hadn’t heard any wailing stories. Later, I had a wailing experience.

In 2001, Carla, our daughter-in-law (wife of Cregg, mother of Carin, Anders and Lissie) discovered that she could possibly have breast cancer. There was serious testing. We as a family started to worry and pray that Carla would test negative. Then came the “Verdict day.”
Mother and I were waiting in the living room and soon we saw Cregg walking down towards the front door. We saw him weeping. We started weeping as Cregg came and told us that Carla had serious breast cancer. We wrapped our arms around each other and cried and cried.
Cregg went back to Carla and his family wondering what was next.

Mother sat crying in the breakfast room, I went out to the screened porch. Suddenly I started to cry aloud. Why Carla and Cregg? She’s so young. They have been so good. I haven’t told Carla enough of my respect and love for her goodness to Cregg and her kindness to us. The wailing came over me and I let go. For an hour Joan watched my experience with love.

Exhaustion sets in. Now what? How bad? What can we do? Questions, questions, questions.
No answers. I experienced wailing for which I am grateful. It reminds me how life is so fragile and only God knows the future. The older I get, the less I know, but what I do know, I know more clearly. I know without shadow of a doubt that God loves us, has His best for us and some day we won’t weep, cry or wail because of being in His presence throughout eternity.

Eight months later, Carla was in her last stage of treatment and we’re so thankful that she’s OK. From whales to Wales to wailing can be wonderful, unforgettable experiences. I know that I won’t forget.

WHATEVER, WHEREVER, FOREVER

Here are some churchgoing memories that are etched in the mind. Easter in Paris at Notre Dame, where thousands stood in the square and after the ceremonies, the people in a chorus shouted, “HE IS RISEN!”

To see and hear Pope Paul II, on a bright Palm Sunday in Rome, with the square filled with priests, nuns and followers who carried rosaries and who were wearing all different kinds of head coverings. It was a marvelous experience for my grandchildren. Also, attending services at the beautiful our nations National Cathedral, the Lutheran Church in Bergen, Norway as well as my first church (and the ones that have followed), are wonderful memories.

There is one church in Vermont and two churches in California that are the “un-usuals.” The first is the Stowe Community Church. This church was started over 100 years ago by three congregations that used this New England beauty for their individual worship services. In addition, the town of Stowe used the building for their meetings. A rare mixture of churches and the state was OK then. Deke and I got involved on one of our adventures. One beautiful Saturday, while our wives shopped, we talked to an elderly lady sitting on the church steps and asked questions. “Do you go to this church? Describe the pastor. Can he preach, what time is the worship service, etc?” The next day we went to the early service starting at 8:30 AM and it was finished at 9:00, or what they called the short service. A time of one hymn, prayer and a twenty-minute sermon. It was refreshing and we will remember the scene with fond memories.

There’s a church on the coast of Northern California that Alfred Hitchcock made famous in the movie, The Birds. My friend Chuck, who loves to roam the country of the north coast, took me by this church and it is a classic in design. A picture was turned into a painting that displayed birds so as to remind me of the experience.

In Placerville, California, the Federated Church on a hill is most unique. It is a partnership between the local Presbyterian and Methodist churches. It’s no cathedral or classic in church design, but it is my choice for being different. My wife’s aunt Kay lived in Placerville until she died at the age of 102, so with the visits, on most Sundays, I would do the usual and attend this church. Every experience gave me a refreshing lift to my spirit.

On one memorable Sunday, the service was a double header (within one hour). The first part was a sermon by the Presbyterian Minister on the subject Whatever. Having come from Scotland, his choice of words, timing, enunciation and sounds were captivating, I had to listen. The sermon was about how our culture has become the “Whatever Era.” It explained when things are relative, you have freedom to roam in whatever direction, do whatever pleases the flesh, say whatever one wants about a person regardless of the pain, and other examples with good illustrations. The words were appropriate and went into my memory bank, helping to adjust my compass to truth.

The next sermon was by the Methodist Minister who was a lady. I think she was the first lady in the pulpit to preach I had ever witnessed. Her sermon topic was Wherever. This was an outstanding presentation where we read in the Old Testament how the people built the Great Temple as a place where God was and where He was to be worshipped. A lively and colorful word picture was painted. I noticed that the attention level was high. Then the change came to God’s people when Christ came to us with, “Wherever two or three are gathered in my name, I am with you.” We could feel the Spirit of our Lord amongst us as we worshipped God.

We know the promises given to those who believe are, Whatever, Wherever, Forever God is God. Life is so good, friends are the treasures forever and doing good in love is life.

WHERE TO GO

Leaving home is a difficult process. Most of the day is away from home and loving care. You realize that you have to move, but the question is where to and how. During this phase, life’s direction is very obscure and there isn’t enough stuff (brains, body, etc.) to call on to get through. So hard work, work harder and the harder you work the luckier you get.

There are days of low energy and motivation to be in front of the pack where you see “adventure.” Life can become an up and down “pedaling process” that doesn’t seem to have direction, so into the middle of the pack becomes the comfort zone. It’s in the middle of the pack where peer pressure pushes the person off balance. This can really affect the purpose of living in a style you know is right. It’s a time of twisted looking. To the rear from whence you came, to the peer side that reduces the “Look ahead vision.”

Sometimes, caring parents and friends sense the “pedaling path” and can become disturbed with “I don’t know what’s happening.” This can push the rider to the center of peer pressure or to the back of the pack where it’s really tough to please everybody.

Recently I read a sign that was a picture of a dog sled team with the quote, “If you’re not in front of the pack, your scenery never changes.” How true. When one is in the pack, life seems to have no direction, no adventure, more spills than thrills. Parents don’t quit loving, supporting, wondering and with hope keep the person from falling into despair and depression, but encouraging to continue in a direction of hope.

Hope is a key word in life. We live on hope. I hope I make at least a B on the test. I hope Joan says YES! I hope they don’t find out. I hope we have steak tonight.

Life is driven by I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope--------------------------------------------------------. These are little hopes in the big picture of life and yet very real. They’re real because our life has little balance and direction.

Hope is the word between faith and love. This is a very beautiful link to a balanced life with positive and final direction. It’s not “little I hope(s)” but the big hope of life.

It can take many cycles in life to get the big picture of hope, and so we move on and on to the final hope. We’re moving toward a picture of the life of independence, then dependence, followed by interdependence, then back to independence and finally of total dependence.

Here’s to hope.

WHY

• Provides jobs for the poor
• Provides change for the poor (out of entitlement living)
• Timing is right (Boone Pickens, Ruppert Murdoff, Bill Gates)
• Helps the church (move into true community)
Care for the poor, marginalized (in one place)
Provides opportunities for care of congregants
Gives opportunities they can’t give
A place to connect the message
• Habitat for Humanity’s reaction
• Friends desiring involvement?
• Professional friends interest (Dahlin, Beinke, Gamble, Ehline, Green, Guhl, Gwinn)
QUESTIONS
1. Is the TruValue space agreement signed?
2. What’s the vision for Northbridge?
3. What is the city’s involvement?
4. How is the flock?
5. Is there a known tenant for the industrial park?
STEPS
• Meeting with Sinsuk (ideas, options)
• Blackhawk meeting November 6th.
• Designing visual picture of The Bridge
• Presetations

WHY WE SHOULD CONNECT WITH MASTERPIECES

Every day we come in contact with His Masterpieces. They are people who God has uniquely crafted. Every person is on a journey, with or without faith in the Craftsman. I find that reading these Masterpieces is where life and living is happening. They are the teachers of new and fresh thoughts to ponder.

As we entered the 21st century, I decided to visit friends and take pictures of them. I told the friends that I was putting together a photo album to look at when I got into my eighties and nineties and was no longer travelling. It was a way to connect and stay connected. To study a photo without the yamming will bring back memories of delight. Also, it takes time to recall and soak in the marvelous pieces of life.

My family sometimes gets embarrassed when I connect (or try) with a stranger, but they’ll learn as they get into their last quarter of life that these experiences are where fun and learning take place. For example: On a trip to San Francisco with my son and a friend riding on an elevator that took us from the sixth floor of the parking lot to Powell street, a gentleman with two cases of instruments (guitar and bongo drum) got on the fifth floor. I had five floors in the cage to connect. I couldn’t resist exploring this Masterpiece. The first question to him was, “Are you any good?” His answer, “I don’t know if I’m good, but I’m loud.” We all laughed and stepped out into life with a memory.

The next person to enjoy was an artist. It was our pleasure to walk over to Union Square and “people” watch. There may be no better place in the world than San Francisco for the sport. It was our good fortune to be at the square on the right day when artists were illustrating their work. There was one collection that caught my undivided attention. Abstracts. I don’t do abstracts, and I don’t understand the why and what. I was mesmerized. The artist, noticing our level of interest, joined our group. She was good, informational, pleasurable, cute and curious about our interest.

Then our conversation became exciting as we shared our common interests, different art techniques (her 30 years in abstracts and my 3 years in giclee paintings of memories). It was a beautiful, memorable time. I got her name, art studio address and telephone number. When I returned home I sent her photos of my stuff and she graciously responded.

Five months later I returned to San Francisco with my oldest son (because of my age of eighty decades of living, my family won’t let me travel alone). I called my artist friend to schedule a time at her studio to reconnect. It didn’t work out this time. Next time I’ll give more planning.

Most people enjoy the spontaneous connection. It demonstrates that the person is interested and unafraid of the contact and maybe even cares enough to learn of their journey. People sense authentic care, and if it’s not authentic, the “Bug Off” signs surface. It’s all about asking the right questions in a kind, sensitive, caring way when the action starts toward a memory that lives.

Read Masterpieces that God created. That’s where life is and living is good. This is part of learning to age well.

WILLIAM WADSWORTH WEBBER III

A gloomy day, a downed spirit, a time of soul searching for my fresh reality and for me the escapes from my reality is a travel experience. 1988, 63 years old, spring, a day for myself to escape, northern California coastline was my comfort arena and the route was highway 1 starting from San Francisco (from Berkeley).

Crossing the Golden Gate Bridge was scary with billows of ocean fog clinging to the air making driving a strain. Sausilito is an out of the way charm place but I wasn’t in the mood for charm. I traveled the Tamolpais valley road to Muir beach, a place with sand and water. I decided not to venture a walk on the beach. My beach thoughts took me back 45 years to the grand Southern California places of family fun at places like Huntington Beach, Corona Del Mar, Oceanside, Manhattan Beach where the sand was clean, water warm, waves /surf to ride and undertow at times to challenge. It was cold and dreary, time for coffee. There stood an English style, bed and breakfast, that could put me instantly on the coast of Wales. Coffee all alone is no fun. More sinking of my spirit even though the fireplaces was glowing. Must move on.

Jenner Beach was a one restaurant, no population place with a name. Time for lunch. Fish was OK, fries a tad greasy but sour dough bread always places a stamp of approval. My thoughts wandered to crazy land like, “I wish I were different, better, better finances, a man who stayed home all the time, a better image, could be happy with life, more God, a future doing what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be.” Now my spirit is really dropping. The Guerneville valley was slightly dumpy. It fit where I was at, dumpster. I hope it has come out or up. Now it’s time to answer questions, create visions of change. The weather had improved to Santa Rosa was a time to reflect on my Santa Rosa friend Vic. Vic had his life all together to the point of a beautiful office building and office. He seemed to like me so I thought it would help if I connected and I could ask, “how ya doin? How are your polo ponies, your family, what does your crystal ball say, etc?” I knew I had to “pump up” because no one, no matter how nice they are, wants to engage a sicko-psycho. Vic was in Italy, so the slide continues. I pointed the car to Calistoga (another town one grade higher than trailer trash. Then south to St. Helena, Rutherford, Kenwood, Yountville where wine tasting shops beckoned. A couple of tastes and life started to hum.

The point of this story is that on the journey to Berkeley (home) I started to think about change. First, my name that I never fully appreciated. It sounded so Swedish with roots from my emigrant parents, father from Aland Islands (between Sweden and Finland) who was a Swede-Finn and mother from Denmark. My 1st name was Eric, born in 1925. It was “kosher” Swedish and when I could, in junior high school, I took my 2nd name, David as my name. In beginning school, my name was “fats.” In the Army Air Corp my name was Ed (dropping both names and just using the initials). To the rest my name became Dave.

Time to change my name and the best I got was W.W.W.III or William (American) then Wadsworth (unusual) and Webber (the name of a classy high school friend) then added the heritage identification. I started to laugh at my craziness. I had hit bottom. At that point change started to take place so now I’m who I am, Eric David Wennstrom, alias OLFAR and that’s OK.

*
say
Yes!

It’s all about
Loving Children!
What child do we love?
There are so many hurting.
There are many hurts to heal.
There are so many hands to hold.
There are many hearts made of gold.
There are many eyes looking for love.
There are many ruts--- they are trodding.
There are many dreams that need to be filled.
Jesus loved the little children, all the children.
Jesus has tears for the little children here and now.
Follow jesus, is to care for all the children in the world.
Amen
And amen

Olfar's Dropping

2011-08-08T13:36:00.001-05:00

FORWARD

G.K. Chesterton says, “There are two ways of getting home; and one of them is to stay there. The other is to walk around the whole world till you come back to the same place.”

I have been one of those who chose the second way; and this is a collection of stories of my experiences and findings on that long journey. It is my life journey across the years from boyhood, of dreams and hopes and faith and trust, to the time when, through trial and error, life’s lessons should be fully learned—and their meaning understood.

The question may well be asked: Why should I, a man of no importance outside my little world, indulge in such insufferable conceit as to write stories about myself, put stuff in print before the eyes of others?

It is not stories of achievement; I am not “rounding out” my life as a modern captain of industry or profession by shooting forth a bragging collection of stories to tell an audience how to become. No, God forbid! Though the stories are told with successes, failures and mistakes, the foolish acts and aims and wiser ones, the pathos, humor and the rest – this is merely my perspective and a collection of stories.

The important thing in the life of every man, is not what he has done or left undone, but what life has done to him—or for him—mentally or subjectively—spiritually, if you will. The worthwhile story has to do with the unfolding or shriveling of his soul, as he stumbles along the rocky road and up some steep ascent, or wanders down the primrose path.

Vanity, I hope, has not influenced me; certainly it has not been my compelling motive. The only compelling motive one should yield to in baring his life to other’s, is to show it’s final outcome; and even then such stories are largely futile unless they have a happy ending. I feel that I found some answers to life’s riddles that have been learned on the way. The reason for this story, then, lies in the fact that it will have a “happy ending.”

Each of us is a little secret world, whose inner life the outsider cannot hope to guess. Blunders, stupidity, suffering and struggle mark every human life to some extent; and they make far deeper marks than transient joy or happiness. The poor envy those men whose wealth appears to give him security, comfort, peace and happiness; but the rich man, loaded down by his cares and disillusions, often envies the poorer man. As a youth I envied popular people; but it was the envy of ignorance, for the day came when I discovered that they were mainly discontent, unhappy or uncomfortable.

In trying to see in retrospect the crowded years of a life that has reached it’s final quarter, one’s perspective of past events may be distorted; though at a distance it may be seen how these events are interwoven, and thus there meaning be better understood. We cannot have all the light, colors and shadows in a picture until it is complete.

This collection as presented, though it penetrates the world and wanders through a jungle of materialistic nothings, has little significance except as a completed picture. The worth-while moral in the stories is, that it is possible for a man, who has been a product of this hard, unbelieving materialistic age in which we live to become clear in the confessing my faith in unrestricted candor.
INTRODUCTION TO THE LEGACY LIBRARY

It is obvious that that the collection of words has not gone through the process of literary education nor have the efforts been blessed by reading of the great and not so great books. One of the novel’s I read was, the At Home in Mitford series with Father Tim and Cynthia as characters of class. For me, wordsmith is like taking a mental dump of thoughts, musings, meditations, memories without constraints, guidance, striving for a grade or acceptance. I would like to be free to be me. Now I’ve learned that freedom without a focus can be foolish and focus without freedom can be spirit squelching. A focus with freedom can be fruitful. I would like these words to be fruitful in passing on thoughts to those who will be members of our family tree that started June 26, 1947 when Gloria Joan Pflum and Eric David Wennstrom were married in the Los Angeles Evangelical Free Church, officiated by Reverend Morris Johnson. Reverend Johnson was the classiest person in attendance.

So the challenge of packaging is now.

The idea of writing a journal has come and left in my undisciplined life. Recently I received a book from my good friend Mike titled Henri J. M. Nouwen, Sabbatical Journey, a journal written the last year of his life. Those who know what I like to read understand my respect for Henri and his writings. He wrote about living, learning, laughing and loving with a focus on caring. This year I was challenged by my friend Bill to write a journal of my thoughts, actions and precepts. I resist the journal idea because of the hardship for me because it has to flow from day to day, month to month, year to year, etc.

By the end of the 21st century there will be over 300 people with my DNA droppings. It may be helpful for their journey if a collection of stories would be available to stimulate their thinking, especially thinking about the important elements in living. I have wished many times that I had stories written by my forefathers passed on for reflection and understanding of the family roots.

The idea of a collection of disconnected, unpredictable, light, deep, off the wall story’s, became the challenge of enjoyment to free myself of the pent up memories of experiences.

So I’m thinking of packaging the droppings into boxes such as, family, friends, likes and dislikes, meditations, musing, manure, travel, church, desires, challenges, ideas (bright and stupid). These are stories, without connections, maybe reality (maybe not), pain and problems, thoughts about the future, sifting out the negatives as much as possible with everything pointing to a happy ending.

I will need technical help from my grandchildren to take the droppings and package them with as much flair as possible. Scripture says that grandchildren are an old man’s blessing. I’ve found that to be 100% true.